RēL Talk Today and Your Core Values

Hi there!????

In our ever-increasing pace of life, I offer a pause to slow down and ask yourself a simple yet profound question.?

What are your core values?

Core values are leading your choices every day, whether you realize it or not.???

Our values are the bedrock of what brings meaning to our life.? If the busyness that we wrap our precious life energy around is not leading us toward things that we value, then it is just a wasted life.? A life full of over-scheduled calendars, undernourished relationships, and depleted health.???

No matter how fast you travel,?you’ll never reach your destination if you’re headed in the wrong direction.?Joshua Fields Millburn, The Minimalists

?Without clarity around your core values, we have a tendency to live for pleasure, jumping from one desire to another which may feel sweet in the moment, but ends up leaving a pleasure hangover when the next dopamine fix is unsustainable.???

Knowing what you value is important.? Values help us define the direction of our actions . . . the direction we are heading to experience the fulfillment we truly desire.? A life full of meaning.??

Even the most aspiring and driven people often stop and look perplexed when I ask them to name their top core values.? Yet, it is in asking just that question that will guide your actions with precise clarity.? You will know exactly what to prioritize and your results will be on target.??

In my work, I have found there are a few reasons we simply do not understand our values:??

First, it isn’t a leading conversation or something we are taught is important.? Rather the passive teaching of values ends up getting conditioned into us by the media, influenced by others, or shaped by what is popular.? And as trends tend to do, your values will shift and change with the season.? Not a good strategy for reaching a destination.

Second, it can be complicated to wrap our heads around and we don’t realize the value of taking time to get clear on our values.

?And third, we just don’t understand that even when we know our values, some are much more important than others in making daily decisions.? Our decisions are always directing our life.??

So, I ask again.? What are your values???

To help you identify your own values, I’ve created a Values Worksheet?

Not All Values Are Equally Important

Just knowing your values is not enough because not all values are equally important.? Often what we have been taught are values, like telling the truth and not stealing are not values at all.? They are morals that are of value to the culture we live in.??

Knowing which values are most important help us guide every decision we make in our life.? Without them we are often chasing other people's values that will not lead us to a life of meaning for ourselves.??

When we know what matters to us, what we value - then we can slow life down and become more intentional in how we live.? Life becomes more simple and peaceful.? We let go of the rushing and push ourselves to accomplish it all.? We see that we don’t want it all.? What we want is what we value.?

I would like to share a few distinctions that I make in my own values to get clear and stay clear as I’m determining my priorities.? Setting priorities allows us to know how best to use our energy, time, money, and resources.? Our priorities when aligned with our values create deep satisfaction and contribute to a meaningful life.????

Core Values

These are the foundational core principles that you live your life by.? Often hidden in our actions rather than our words. To discover your Core Values I have created a questionnaire to guide you in seeing what is meaningful - what you value most.? At the bottom, you will find a link to download the RēL simple Values Worksheet.? It will take you 10-15 minutes to complete and give you the baseline to bounce every decision you make against.? If it doesn’t fall into your Core Values, then the answer should be NO.???

To get you started I'm sharing my Core Values:

1. My Work: to live in my integrity by prioritizing my contribution to support myself and others in self-actualization.
2. Close Relationships: aligning head and heart - honoring boundaries, creating healthy relationships.
3. Self-Love: honoring my Building Values and having the courage to live in my integrity.??

Your Core Values will be unique to you.? We are all designed with different values although many may be similar.? Be careful here to get honest with yourself.? What society tells you is a value may not be true for you.? When a client quickly pops off that their values are Family Friends and Faith I ask them to dig deeper and find what lies beneath those words.? We can’t align our life’s journey with values that are not true for us

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Building Values

Once you know your Core Values you will notice there are other values that when followed and lived create strength and directly line up too your Core Values.? These are kind of the “what” we do to support our Core Values.? Important as well, although second to the Core Values.? Building Values are very personal and create a better understanding of what you need to honor those Core Values.? Here is a list of mine:?

• Self-compassion: expanding my awareness of self.? Practice patience as I continue to learn.
• Self-trust: honoring divine timing, my intuition, and myself.
• Freedom: the power to live, create, act, speak, work and love without imposed restraints.
• Integrity: decisions and actions in alignment with my values.?
• Intimacy: the courage to be in a relationship and continue to grow in vulnerability and authenticity.?
• Expansion: growing, learning, and experiencing the joy and challenges of being alive.
• Spirituality: living in connection to an energy that connects all things
• Self-Care: decisions to support my well-being, body, and energy while pursuing a meaningful life.?
• Well-Being: mental and emotional health in aligning my head & heart. Honoring my intuition.

Building Values are important to who you are as a person.

Building Values are important to who you are as a person.? These may change over time, especially as you go through difficult challenges that create a personal transformation.? Review these from time to time and make sure that you are in alignment.? The more open you are to self-awareness the more often your values may need to be adjusted to support your new awarenesses.??

Value Blockers

These are simply obstacles that get in our way of living a life of meaning.? Often picked up from our social conditioning or handed down through others' beliefs of what we should or must do to be accepted.? These are blocking our ability to create a meaningful life and must be eliminated from our lives.? These Value Blockers are unique to each of us, but will always leave us feeling unfulfilled in life.? Here are a few of mine:

• Ego
• Other opinions
• Complaining
• Consumerism
• Social media / TV
• Insecurity
• Caregiving - over-functioning with others
• Navigating other's desires over my own
• Self-doubt
• Scarcity
• Fear
• Vanity
• Expectation
• Impatience
• Blind spots
• Procrastination
• Blaming
• Frustration
• Overwhelm?

Guaranteed there are other obstacles I have in my life. ? I can be pretty sure that I will find others because it doesn’t take long before a shiny new object will draw my attention away from following my values.? These are the prisons I create to keep me from living the meaningful life I truly desire.???

I know that the only way to live a truly meaningful life is to slow down, simplify, and prioritize my actions to align with my Core Values and Building Values.? And eliminate the Value Blockers that I have created in my life.???

How to Use Your Values

Hey, we all are uniquely different.? Designed as one-of-a-kind.? Our differences make life interesting.? How boring to have everyone like me . . . or just like you.? Therefore, these are guidelines to help take your own questioning of your values deeper.? Use the categories however they fit you best.??

Do take the time to gain clarity for yourself.? It will give you a framework with which to make decisions, the big and the small.??

To help you identify your own values, I’ve created a Values Worksheet?

Once you’ve completed this worksheet, let someone you trust take a look and give you feedback.? You will discover that once you understand your values, you will understand how to interact with life and daily choices more effectively.? This alone will improve the way you relate to life . . . to yourself.??

Desire to create deeper meaning in your intimate relationships?? Share your values with those you love.? It can improve communication and understanding.? And share this page and the Values Worksheet.? Living a more meaningful life is something available to us all.?

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Please feel free to ?"like" and post a question or comment below.? I would love to know what you would like to hear more about.??

I absolutely believe in you.? Even when (and often especially when) you don't know if you can believe in yourself.???

Until next time,

Marianne

P.S.? If you would like to jump on a Discovery call to see how I might be able to support you in designing a more meaningful life, then here is my calendar. ?No obligation, just 30 minutes with me.?

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Thank you!

RēL TALK Today is a newsletter to support you on your journey to a more meaningful life.? At RēL we teach practical and powerful skills to simplify life and connect who you uniquely are and what you value with how you live, work, and love.