RēL Talk Today and Why You Could Let It Go

RēL Talk Today and Why You Could Let It Go

Hi there!????

Lately, it seems that LIFE has offered up several opportunities to either hold on tight . . . or to just let it go.??

This edition of RēL Talk Today I dedicate to my sweetheart. The human that helps me identify hidden ways that I still hold on tight when it would be best to let it go. He is the best. Yes, he too is a coach trained in helping see blind spots.

Grand Staircase Escalante National Monument - Utah

This is self-awareness work friends. We can get much better at it. And as long as we are human, there will be more to figure out.

There is an emotion that is often activated through the ups and downs of regular life.? Changes in our work, financials, relationships, and health can trigger these feelings that are rarely properly identified.? I'm talking about -

R? ? E ? S? ? E? ? N? ? T ? M? ? E? ? N? ? T

Can you relate???

Most of us don't relate to the feeling of resentment.? Instead, we might say we are frustrated, disappointed, mad, or even sad in response to what we may think of as unfortunate life circumstances.?

It is a sneaky emotion that may just start with anger, hurt feelings, or disappointment.? Feelings that are perfectly normal based on the original situation experienced.??

But if you are still feeling these feelings weeks, months, or even years after the original event -- something has gone wrong.? You have the opportunity to be self-aware.??

Nurturing resentment (long-term commitment to feeling angry) is like drinking poison and waiting for someone else to die.? It is no Bueno!??

Resentment is like?drinking poison?and waiting for?someone else to die.

Hey, we are all human.? That means nobody is perfect.? Nobody navigates their feelings perfectly.? I certainly don't.? I'm on this journey of life - right by your side - learning as I go.?

I have learned that being able to self-observe is imperative to growing and learning.? I'm talking about self-awareness.?

The ability to observe yourself (thoughts, feelings, actions) and make adjustments where necessary.

Know this . . . there is no space here for self-judgment.? No space to judge others and how they are doing either.? That is simply not any of your business.? Your business is how well you are doing.??

How are you improving your ability to observe your own progress??

If you evaluate your progress comparing yourself to someone else -- then you are in the wrong lane.? Stay in your own lane observing yourself and only yourself.?

Back to resentment.?

Think of it as affecting your health like eating an entire pizza every night.? You will feel short-term discomfort and there will be long-term ramifications.? Health issues that may not be easy to reverse down the line.??

The energy of resentment is so contrary to who we really are, that it brings us down and makes our lives very small and constrictive.? Resentment can foster distrust and conflict, damaging our close relationships with friends and family, leading us to cross people off our lists one by one.??

So a serious SELF-LOVE activity is to 1st, identify the areas you have resentment in your life and 2nd - to take action to eliminate your perspective and/or feelings about those situations.??

Resolving resentment requires looking within.? Your willingness and ability to look inward - at yourself is the key.? Shifting the focus from blaming others to examining ourselves takes so much courage.?

Laying down the shield of armor that resentment surrounds us with can leave us feeling exposed - at least until we learn how to use it as a skill.?

"We need to take a look at what we are thinking about others, the world, and ourselves.? Most importantly, we have to question what we are believing." Guides one of my favorite teachers Byron Katie.??        

Whether your relationships change, financials improve or things progress to where you desire or not.? Learning to identify and LET GO of resentment in your own life will be a game-changer.??

In other words, it isn't about getting what you want.? It is about loving yourself enough to stop drinking the poison . . . it is killing you slowly.??

SIGNS OF RESENTMENT

1.? Reliving the Past. ?As we ruminate or obsess over what shouldn't have happened.? How someone shouldn't have treated me like that.? It is important to understand we can't change the past.? As long as we focus on it, the more attention we give to it . . . the more energy we give to these thoughts -- the more exhausted we become.? Check your energy levels for exhaustion - resentment hides in carrying the past forward . . . and it is a heavy load.

2.? Fatigue.? The energy of the feeling of resentment is heavy.? Literally, it is a weighed-down feeling.? After feeling it for some time we adjust and it becomes our new normal.? Is it time to put down what is creating your fatigue?

3.? Hypercriticism.? Another word for being judgemental.? Do you find yourself describing others as self-centered, lazy, irresponsible, or selfish? These judgments come from you feeling that what someone else has done is unfair and you don't have the power to change it.? We judge because we feel they have put this [insert situation] upon us.? Catch yourself judging others because resentment sits right next to these judgments.??

4.? Finger-Pointing. ?Blaming someone else for our discomfort is the chief characteristic of resentment and comes from feeling powerless.? When we are the innocent victim then we justify having zero responsibility for our own feelings.? What's even more debilitating is believing we have ZERO power to change our feelings.??

5.? Defensiveness.? Notice when you move into the mode of defending yourself.? Resentment is often sparked by feeling that someone has treated us unfairly.? Feeling persecuted and misunderstood we make assumptions of how the other felt.? In actuality, we rarely have any idea what they really feel.? When we feel victimized, we connect to feeling resentment and often defend ourselves.??

Next week in RēL Talk Today I will share several ways to RELEASE RESENTMENT.? It will be worth the wait.???

Until then, apply self-awareness to notice when you slip into any of these 5 areas that identify you are feeling resentment.??

Resentment is tricky.? It hides behind other feelings and goes unnoticed.??

It will suck your precious life force energy.? Don't let it!

You've got this!? And, I've got you.??

I absolutely believe in you.? Even when (and often especially when) you don't know if you can believe in yourself.???

We all win when you win.??

We would love to have you join us at RēL Coaching where we do this work every beautiful day of our lives.?

It is FREEDOM.????

If someone you know would value from "RēL Talk Today", then please forward them this newsletter and encourage them to subscribe here.

Please feel free to ?"like" and post a question or comment below.

Stay curious my friend!

Marianne


P.S.? If you would like to jump on a Discovery call to see how I might be able to support you in designing a more meaningful life, then here is my calendar. ? No obligation, just 30 minutes with me.?

P.S.S. Not all Values are important, but YOURS are!? To help you identify your own values, I’ve created a Values Worksheet

Please feel free to "like" and post a question or comment below and share this with any friends or colleagues who might find learning more about #mindset and #personalgrowth helpful. Thank you!

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