RēL Talk Today and Decision Spiral

Recently I have had so many new decisions to make in my life.? A few big life-changing decisions and many regular everyday kinds of decisions.? Many of these decisions were tough for me to make and on top of that, I'm a (KOLBE) "high fact-finder" type of person.? I like to research and look at the facts and poke around for different viewpoints before digging down to find the truth for me. Then I make a decision.??

Those close to me actually think making decisions is easy for me.? They say I'm quite decisive.? It is pretty easy for me now.? Now that I have learned the self-abuse that happens when we don't make decisions.?

In fact, if I'm not conscious about making decisions to move forward . . . I feel confused and overwhelmed, which causes me to just mentally spin.? It is exhausting!?

One of the most ENERGY DRAINING things we can do is to postpone making decisions.? When we prolong or procrastinate making decisions it creates an energy-zapping decision spiral.?

Think about it like this.??

We make dozens of decisions in a day.? Hundreds of decisions actually.?

• Do I get up with the alarm or hit snooze?
• What do I wear today?
• Did I send that email?
• What was I supposed to remember not to forget?
• Oh, my morning practice, do I have time for that?
• Do I pay that now or just wait until I get invoiced?
• Should I grab a snack for later, I know that meeting will run long?
• Do I need to leave now to get there on time??
• What direction should I go to avoid traffic?
• Did I remember to hug and kiss my loved ones?
• Should I stop and fill up the car with gas now or later?

OK, I skipped a bunch of normal decisions -- you get the picture . . .? and we are not even out of the driveway yet.??

Decisions are a normal part of our life.? Yet, often I run into clients and students who are so confused over making a challenging decision.? What I find is that the challenge isn't usually the decision they think is causing them to be confused.? Instead, it is the many decisions around the situation that have not been made causing so much overwhelm, confusion, frustration, discomfort, and pain.??

Each open decision requires an inordinate amount of energy from our brain that just keeps spinning and spinning.

Remember our brains are problem solvers and when there is an unsolved problem it will spin on it until it is resolved.??

The thing I want you to understand here is that open decisions suck energy while making a decision moves you forward.? Little decision or big decision-- both will move you forward.??

The results you desire will require you to make decisions, in order to move forward in your life.?

When we decide NOT to make a decision, "I'm not ready to make a decision just yet", we create a Decision Spiral.? Yes, this is my term for the perpetual spiral that we can't stop thinking about (energy-sucking sound) because we are not making the decisions required to move forward.?

To understand why you are not making a decision ask yourself if it is the fear of - ?

TAKING ACTION: Are you not making this decision because you don't want to take the action it would require???

BEING WRONG: Are you afraid that you will make the wrong decision?? You don't want to be wrong??

A Decision Spiral sounds like

• "I'm just not clear yet" or
• "I'll just know it when I know it" or
• "Maybe a better option will come along" or
• "I'm just not ready to make this decision yet" or
• "Let me think on that . . . "

Hey, CHANGE creates DISCOMFORT.

And discomfort won't kill you.??

Discomfort is going to happen anyway.? One will get you a result and one will perpetuate a result you do not want.??

Not making a decision will not keep you safe.? It will not stop the world around you from changing.? Instead, it will cost you time.? It will deplete your energy.? It will STILL result in something. Understand that it will not be the result you desire.??

How do you know if you are in a? Decision Spiral??

Listen to yourself.?

What do you talk about with those close to you??

Is it about a nagging feeling you need to end your marriage? Is it about your concern with a child?? Maybe it is about feeling unsatisfied with life . . . or needing something "new" to look forward to.? It could be your business or your team or hiring a coach (now that is a great decision!).

Get quiet with yourself.?

Stop moving around for a moment and close your eyes.? When you think about tomorrow, next week, or next year what questions pop up?? These are usually full of decisions that you have not made and decision spirals waiting to be closed.???

JUST MAKE THE BEST DECISION YOU CAN for right now.? You can always make a new decision if you find this is not the direction you want to go.

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Stay curious my friend!

Marianne

P.S.? If you would like to jump on a Discovery call to see how I might be able to support you in designing a more meaningful life, then here is my calendar.? No obligation, just 30 minutes with me.?

P.S.S. Look forward to seeing you here next week.

#Kolbe #selfawareness #theselfcoachhabit #coaching #coach #emotionalintelligence #personaldevelopment #leadership