‘Quotes’ which helped me to make positive changes in life
Quotes have the power to pack tonnes of wisdom into a few words, it has the power to tell a story in few lines that makes you sit back and think , and It works like a cannon ball with tonnes of weight that hits you hard and knocks you out of your comfort zone. In any situation in life there is always some quotes which gives you hope to overcome any hurdles, to get back up and keep going. I am sharing a few of such quotes which had positive influence on me.
Fear is not real, it’s a choice
“Fear is not real, it is a product of thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand me, Danger is very real, but fear is a choice.” – Will smith
If you look around today, it’s difficult not to notice that ‘Fear’ sells more than anything else. You find more takers for news hour debate which brings out long buried fear in people’s minds on to the table. Fear of minorities, fear of lack of leadership of your country, fear of indecisiveness on matters related policies, fear of rouge states leading to end of the world, fear of calamities, and many more. Fear sells. News anchors who brings out these fears in people captures more attention, those who are not talking about it, is losing relevance. Corporates are exploiting fears in peoples to sell their product, fear of getting old sells anti-ageing products, fear of being left behind due to your skin color sells more fairness creams, fear of being branded non-successful sells more luxury products. Fear rules, and whether we like it or not it is leading today's world, and it is churning out unlikely leaders that we could not have imagined leading countries a decade ago.
But is the fear real or are we making it real in our shared imaginations? If you had the opportunity to read ‘Sapiens’ by Harari where he explains how through shared imagination mankind has created things like money, state and borders which cannot have an existence outside people’s shared imagination, you will be able to better relate to what will smith says here about fear. Or you can simply refer to any of your life experience where you have been scared to take a decision or make changes to your life due to fear of something and lost out on an opportunity, was that fear something created by your thoughts? Was there a real danger? Or think of a situation where you made a wrong decision out of fear. Could you have performed differently if you had overcome those thoughts in those situations?
Fear is the byproduct of our imagination, it’s a choice, the moment you realize the truth about fear, you are in better control of your life and the decision you make in life. My take away from this quote is not to let fear hold me back from anything in life, and venture beyond to see what life has in store for me. Overcome fear, but do not mix up fear and danger. As danger is very real, but fear is a choice.
Stop looking for easy way out, focus on growth
“Always go with the choice that scares you the most, because that’s the one that is going to help you grow.” – Caroline Myss
Everyone prefers comfort of security and predictability. Also, we like life to be easy, we like things to remain the way it is, we like people around us to be there all the time, and we prefer to take the road we are most comfortable with. The thought of change scares us, thought of moving to a new home, to a new job, to a new country, to a new school these are all choices we would avoid unless we are forced to make them.
But the thing about life is that unless we are not willing to take risks and go for scary choices, we are never going to make progress. This quote has always motivated me to make tough choices when it comes to career and life, and I have learned from my experience that going with those choices were the best thing that happened to me in life. If not for those choices I would have remained where I was ten years ago.
I recently read an article about a nurse who shared her experience interacting with people under her care who were approaching the last years of their life. In the article she shares what those people regret the most having reached the end of their life. You will be surprised to hear that almost all of them had one big regret in common, and that had nothing to do with the things they did in life, but was all about the things they didn’t do, and the choices they didn’t make.
Go with those hard choices, the tough ones, and change the course of your life, at least you know you won't regret not making those choices in later years of your life.
What you are doing today shapes your tomorrow
“The future depends on what you do today” – Mahatma Gandhi
Probably Gandhi coined this at the backdrop of Independence struggle, but it is so relevant in every aspect of life. The actions you take today, the decisions you make today, the relationships you build today will determine your future. I can sit back and complain about things not going in the right direction for me, but only actions will make a change in that situation. Keeping your money in your safe won’t help it grow on its own, you need to find investment opportunities that will make it grow. Complaining about possibility of job loss won't help save it, taking action to change your situation and steer your career in the right direction will.
As Steve Jobs mentioned in his famous Stanford commencement speech, when you look back in life the dots connect. What you do today will lead to where you reach tomorrow, it will all somehow connect in your future. So, take that small step today, whether its saving up for your future dream, learning new things to change the course of life, changing career to align with your goals, or revealing your love for someone with whom you want to spend your life with. Keep in mind what you do today paves the way for your future.
Look for the positive side of any situation
“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses” – Abraham Lincoln
Finding the negative side of a situation or person comes more natural to humans than the positives. We have to really train our mind hard to look at positives in anything and everything. But this is a necessary training we need, to help ourselves not to go off-track and get lost in life. Sometimes negatives overshadow the positives, but it doesn’t mean positives doesn’t exist, the trick is to nurture those positives with care and love that one day it comes out on top. From the psychological perspective those positives are your lifeline which will save you from drowning into negativity.
When I got back-to-back long-term work assignments in countries which are ranked among the lower 10% of the preferred countries to live in, it was easier for me to find the negatives in every aspect of life. But once I was there and I started focusing on the good things that those places have got to offer I could find an overwhelming number of them which could easily counterbalance and surpass the negative aspects of being there. By appreciating and nurturing those positive aspects I could completely turnaround my outlook and how I approach life there. Today when I look back at my time in those countries, I feel blessed for being had the opportunity to be there as they were among the best time I have had in my life, even when I compare it with time spend in cities that fare among the most attractive places to live in.
Clear the EGO
“Ego is just like dust in the eyes… Without clearing the dust, we can’t see anything clearly, so clear the ego and see the world” – Unknown
Ego is the biggest hurdle in the way to make changes in our life. It leads us to make wrong decisions which ultimately lead to more harm than good. It makes us to hang on to things we don’t need at the expense of things we need. It is the biggest curtain behind which insecurity hides. We have to clear our ego to have a clear vision of our life, to make better decisions and choices. And the best way to do that is to develop self-awareness.
One way to develop self-awareness is by watching yourself and your thoughts in action, as if you have a camera on your forehead pointing towards you watching all your moves. Every moment the Ego surfaces notice it, understand what it is doing to you and how it is influencing your behaviour and decisions. Watch yourself while you interact with people, or how you react to certain situation, and what you're thinking. While you are fighting with your partner over silly things notice what you are doing from within and how ego is fueling it, while disagreeing with your colleague on his suggestions and views look what thought process inside you is triggering it, the more you watch - the more you become aware, the more you are aware the less you are likely to surrender to ego. It's easier said than done, but if you are willing to spend time and effort on it it will become more and more easier to keep the ego in check.