Quotes To Get You Through A Quarter-Life Crisis
I think that if we hear the right combination of words, at the right time, from the right person, it can have a really profound impact on our lives.
I have spent the last few years working with people experiencing a quarter-life crisis and have hoarded countless quotes which I go back to again and again.
I have trawled through my old emails, phone notes, kindle clippings, pages of books and notepads to pick 25 (because ‘a quarter’… see what I did there?) of my favourite quarter-life crisis quotes.
This list is a combination of helpful, silly or profound snippets which have made my clients and I ponder or just smile.
Some I will explain in a little more detail, others I’ll leave to do all the talking.
As I said… I am a quotes hoarder. So if you have any quarter-life crisis quotes of your own. Please share.
1."If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude" - MAYA ANGELOU
2. "The menu is not the meal." - ALAN WATTS
To me, this quote refers to the way us 20 somethings tend to obsess about the ‘life plan’ instead of actually living. It is like going to a restaurant and spending hours agonising over the menu rather than just ordering the damn thing and seeing if we like it! Same can be applied to career choices.
3. "The other day I calculated costs to buy a home, and deduced I can afford a nice big garden gnome" @QUARTERLIFEPOETRY
4."When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it." - PAULO COELHO
This is a quote about probability.
If you want something but you are afraid to pursue it, you will be less likely to open yourself up to opportunities. This will decrease your probability of finding a path to what you want.
If you have an open-mind, you are more likely explore what you want, which will open you up to more possibilities thus increasing the probability of finding a path to what you want.
5. "It is not uncommon for people to spend their whole life waiting to start living." - ECKHART TOLLE
‘I’ll be happy when’ syndrome. You have to remember that THIS is life. This is it! You’ve made it! It is not in some distant place in the future when you own property, have a car, have a family and have ‘made it’ in your career. You are doing the living bit right now, so how can you start enjoying it more?
6. "If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try" - SETH GODIN
7. "Comparison is the thief of joy" - TEDDY ROOSEVELT
I wrote a whole article about career comparison. It warrants its own space.
8. "Leap of faith yes, but only after reflection" - S?REN KIERKEGAARD
I end a lot of my workshops with this one. It perfectly balances two approaches to life:
The activists (leap of faith kind of people) and the theorists (the reflecty kind of people).
This quote reminds me that ultimately, everything is a leap of faith. No matter how much reflecting we do we will never know it is the ‘right decision’ until we jump. Reflecting can only help us leap in the right direction.
9. "He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how" - FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE
To me, this quote means: No matter how cold, wintery and grey this Monday morning is, what I do is more important than staying in my warm cozy bed.
10. "Find a way to get paid to play"- ALAN WATTS
11. "My five year plan has been going great, ever since I postponed it another eight"- @QUARTERLIFEPOETRY
12. "There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing"- ARISTOTLE
13. "You have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it. Create your own." - MORRIE SCHWARTZ
This is probably the quote I have sent to the most people.
To me, this means that if what society is saying you ‘should’ be doing doesn’t suit you…let it go. Make your own rules and definitions of success. It’s hard, but it is within your power.
14. "Before beginning a Hunt, it is wise to ask someone what you are looking for before you begin looking for it."- WINNIE THE POOH
15."I’m confused, a total mess, terrified of rejection, but you’ll never know because my instagram’s perfection"@QUARTERLIFEPOETRY
Instagram is a positive distortion of the way people want to portray their lives. Avoid comparing your internal world with anyone's external world.
16. "watch your thoughts, they become your words, watch your words, they become your actions. Watch your actions, they become your habits. Watch your habits, they become character" - LAO TZU
Everything comes back to the way we think about ourselves, others and the world. Our thoughts become who we are. If you want to make a change in your life, start by making a change in your mind.
17. ‘When I was young I wanted to be married at 23. Lets all laugh together’OENONE FORBAT
18. "Everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms- to choose ones attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s way" VIKTOR FRANKL
This is from Viktor Fankl’s book: A Man’s Search For Meaning (buy it... seriously).
Frankl was an Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist as well as a Holocaust survivor. He survived many concentration camps including Auschwitz. He made the realisation that even in the most extreme circumstances we always have the ability to choose how we react.
19."Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are." KURT COBAIN
20.“A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance. HUNTER S. THOMPSON
This relates to the way we choose our path in life. If we don’t actively make a decision, our decision may be made for us. This might not necessarily lead to an unhappy life, it just means that you may not get the fulfilment you were looking for. Read Hunter S. Thompson's monumental letter.
21."We might be the only creatures in the universe who are conscious enough to be able to look back at the world and see how beautiful it is. This is a miracle." - ME
I think I have probably pinched this from someone and re-worded it. This idea forms part of how I remain largely positive. It is the way I remind myself to get some perspective. It reminds me that just being alive and conscious makes life worth living.
22. "Our brain has a negativity bias, which makes it like velcro for the bad and teflon for the good" RICK HANSON
Back in the days of sabre-tooth tigers and woolly mammoths, the humans who survived were the ones that focused on the negative. Having a negative bias was helpful because it meant we were more wary of any threats to our lives.
Nowadays we are unlikely to run into many beasts with fangs, and yet our brains are still wired in the same way. This means we still focus on the negative more than the positive.
It is useful to remember this because we are able to train our brains to focus on the positive. This can be vital to overcoming a quarter-life crisis. Practices like gratitude and mindfulness are great tools for this re-training.
23. "Allow yourself to just be" BARBARA CONWAY & DAWN GARLAND
These words were passed down from my Nana to my Mum to me. Both of whom have always said: ‘remember to just be’. These words have meant a lot to me over my life. It is another reminder that sometimes, just existing is enough and everything else is a bonus.
24."Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it" CHARLES SWINDOLL
25.“What I realized was that I would never get to happiness as long as I held on to the idea that as soon as I do this or get that or reach this benchmark I’ll become happy." MO GAWDAT
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Let me know if any of them resonated with you particularly.
Or if you have your own quotes that help you get through difficult times.
Find out more at Quarter-Life