Quitting everything and turning my life around - a personal story

Today I want to talk about something a lot more personal than my normal, more business oriented, posts. Full disclaimer, I do not intend to give advice or tell people what they should do. I simply aim to tell my story and what worked for me, and that can maybe help others. Also as I re-read what you are about to read, it proved to be therapeutic for me.

So here is how the story goes.

As some of you know, I have been enjoying la “vida loca” in Mexico for a couple months now. But this is the result of a long process on my side, and more importantly, a complete life change. Truth is, before that I was living in Paris, and the overwhelming feeling I felt was that of feeling completely stuck.

If you followed-me on instagram at the time, it also looked like back then I was living my best life. My instagram is full of pictures of travels to exotic places or me shaking hands with important people. But this is where, and I am sure you have heard it before, you should not trust what you see on Instagram. In fact, I was actually very unhappy, and this for about 4 years before my big move. 

I think this started when I moved back to Paris (my hometown) for work after spending almost 5 years living in London, as this added geographical distance with the tight group of friends I had made there. This became even more so critical, when I ostracized myself completely from most of my friends when I went through a bad relationship and eventually a bad breakup. Leaving me with barely anyone to rely on and challenge my increasingly poor decisions. 

At that point, the only real compass was my work, and so I started focusing exclusively on my job. I was working for a boutique auditing firm. And because of its size, I was quickly given a lot of responsibility and had the opportunity to travel all around (thus the multiple instagram posts). As I gave myself fully to this role, I slowly isolated myself even further. Things became more complicated when I eventually became stuck at work as well. Working in a boutique firm, you quickly reach a glass ceiling, and there is no more real room left for promotion apart from taking the boss’/owner’s role.

As time passed, I felt increasingly undervalued at work, and not appreciated for my contributions (rightfully so or not). On the other hand, and as mentioned earlier, I had isolated myself from friends, and was living by myself in a small studio in Paris. Yes, I still went out to dinners and parties, and sure people might have thought I was doing alright. But really I was not.

From there I entered into a downward spiral where with everyday passing, it became more and more difficult to get out of it, let alone up in the morning. I knew I had to change jobs (rebuilding friendships did not strike me as important at first), but when I got home after a long day all I wanted to do was to be lethargic in front of Netflix with a heated ready meal. 

Rebuilding relationships with friends you let down seemed to be an impossible task, and I felt an overwhelming sense of shame of having acted like I did. Future will prove that this rebuilding process was exactly what I needed to get better.

The realisation that I needed to get a grip came when my dad (that I barely see and do not talk to) mentioned on the very rare occasion we would interact that it looked like my “light had faded”. It took this as a massive slap but it also just clicked in my head. This man who I barely ever saw and barely even knew me saw me this way. From there, I decided, I had to do something and take myself out of the spiral.

First thing I did, I swallowed my pride and started getting back in touch with my lost friends. And this is where I realized how stupid I had been all this time. They were still there for me, no matter what, and there wasn’t even a tad of awkwardness. In fact, to this day, they still joke when I mention a new girl in my life asking if I am going to disappear again like last time, but it comes from a good place. It took me courage to get back in touch, but eventually it was just like we had left each other just the day before.

From there things started taking a turn for the better. Having a support group again to challenge me steered me in the right direction, at last. We organized trips together and I started enjoying my life again. But I was still stuck in my job, and when those trips would be over, I would quickly get back into my old routine.

And then in November 2018, we planned a group trip to Mexico where my best friend had moved to follow her boyfriend. Let me tell you, I have probably never been happier in my life than during this trip, and it would define my life for the months to come. During that trip, my best friend saw that I was still not in the right place (they do see right through you) and so she casually mentioned I should quit it all in Paris and move to Mexico. Fresh start.

Initially I discarded the idea. I was making good money, had my own place, my family in Paris, and even if I was unhappy in my job, it gave me the opportunity to travel a lot. This was the hardest for me. Even though this situation made me super unhappy, it is still hard to let it go because I saw it as taking a huge risk. What am I going to do for a living? Where am I gonna live? So initially, I just sucked it in and waited for things to get better on their own? But the truth is, things do not get better if you do not do anything about it.

So one day in March 2019, I called my friend and said I’d like to give it a try and asked if I could come visit for a couple of days to see if I could see myself living there. Two weeks later, I was on a plane and testing out the Mexican life. This time not as a tourist but as a potential inhabitant. Her nudging me to take a chance was working.

Let me tell you, the food, the people, the dynamic environment, the job opportunities, the city, everything was calling for me to move there. And actually I was burning employment opportunities by not being able to give a straight answer regarding my move date. When I got back to Paris, the decision was taken. I was moving to Mexico City. 

From there, it would take me a few months to get everything in order and move, but finally on the 4th of November 2019, I moved to Mexico City. Within three weeks I had found a flat and a great job. Not having all the past pressure meant that I was in the right set of mind to move forward and get going with my life.

So what did I learn looking back?

Well first of all, me being stuck was mostly self inflicted. I isolated myself and did not make any efforts to improve my situation. The biggest mistake I made was probably getting rid of my support group, because as soon as I put myself out there again, things took a turn for the better. I cannot stress enough how this was important for me in my journey. 

In my case, I also really needed a complete life change; a fresh start. Quitting my job would have not been enough for me, I needed to change places, and move far away. So much so, that I initially thought of moving to Madrid, but it would still have been too close to my old life and have me visit the same places that were in the end holding me back.

I have now been living in Mexico for about 8 months and I am a different person or rather, I feel like I am me again, which I had not felt in a long time.

As I mentioned at the beginning, I am not advising anyone to follow the same path and change things as drastically as I did, but if this story helps that’s great. I will indulge with one piece of advice though, keep your friends and family close, and make sure they challenge you and your decisions. In my case it would have saved me from making bad ones quite a few times. 

Oh, I almost forgot. Visit Mexico, it is a place of wonders and new beginnings.