Quit Trying So Hard

(I've been thinking a lot about Charley lately. In this new year, I thought I'd re-share this article I wrote a few years ago. Enjoy.)

I woke up this morning with my head spinning. I got back last night from a whirlwind two-day trip to New York. Meetings started at 8 and ended at 10 at night. On top of that, I was trying to do what we all do. Return hundreds of emails, blog, tweet, and text. You know the drill.

While I enjoy the adrenaline, it can be a bit overwhelming living in the digitally connected world that most of us find ourselves today.

This morning, as I tried to get my bearings, I thought of my great friend, Charley LaVenture. Charley passed away a couple of months ago. He was a truly unique spirit and an amazing surfer, mountain biker, potter and family man. Charley wasn’t always the easiest to get along with. He had a way of stripping you down to expose your soul. I’d often get out of the water after what I thought was an amazing surf session and come strutting up the beach. Charley had a way of calling out my ego and put it back in the right place. To Charley all this stuff we do, from work to surf, wasn’t really that important. What was important was sitting watching the sunset with good friends or having an honest conversation about life.

A few hours before Charley died I got a chance to sit with him. As I looked into his eyes he spoke with such clarity and vision, “Quit trying so hard.” As he said it he had a big Cheshire grin. Charley went out with such grace and strength.

After remembering his words this morning, I changed speeds. I shut off my computer, hopped on my bike and, instead of pushing myself to the limit, I moseyed for a couple of hours. The birds were singing. The wind whistled through my spokes and the sun danced through the trees.

Halfway through the ride a friend, Troy, caught me. As we slowly road we had a wonderful conversation, even talking a bit about Charley.

Once again I feel grounded remembering that all of this stuff we do isn’t really as important as spending a few minutes with a friend cruising down the rode with not a care in the world.



Darrin Vandenbosch

Elevator Constructor at IUEC Local 10- Retired

8 年

Something we all need to do. Slow down and enjoy.

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Cathy Miller

Director of Marketing

8 年

Thank you for this opportunity to actually pause, reflect on what you wrote, and be inspired to express my gratitude for your post vs. rushing past it.

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Nan Schuler

Producer/Founder at NiveK Productions

8 年

We are, at the very most, the tiniest of specks in the vast ocean of space and time.

Julie Stevenson

Helping Doctors Focus on Patients

8 年

I've heard it put this way "In the end, people don't really remember what you said, what you did, what you wore or what you drove, but how you made them feel". I find this useful when considering my choices. How might they affect others? If not at all, who cares. Most of life on earth is so incredibly inconsequential. Folks spend a lot of time and energy trying to deny this inescapable truth. Embrace the freedom that comes with this reality.

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