Quit...

Most of us grew up hearing the mantra "Don't be a quitter," and we've internalized it to the point where we feel guilty if we don't finish a book that's boring us to death. The bad habits that are preventing you from becoming a winner. Winners follow leaders and people with successful track records. They copy those who have done what they want to do so they too can be more successful. Winners aren’t necessarily better than you. They just do things differently. If you aren’t where you want to be, there are probably things in your life that are holding you back from achieving your goals.?

We are all creatures of habit and fall into patterns of thinking and acting a certain way. The problem is, that some of these habits are toxic and hinder our path to success. But, if you can quit bad habits, replace them with good habits, and change your patterns, your new habits will help you be more successful.

It’s important to learn the power of rich habits and keep them part of your routine. Take a step back and assess your behavior. There’s a famous quote from Vince Lombardi, a Hall of Fame head coach in the National Football League, “Winners never quit, and quitters never win.” As a two-time Super Bowl champion, Lombardi knows what it takes to win. But his quote is only half right. There are times when quitting is necessary. That was my inspiration for this post.

Quitters never win and winners never quit. That’s a saying you have heard before. I’d like to challenge that. I understand the importance of teaching children the lesson of persistence and sticktoitiveness, but we aren’t children anymore. We are adults learning to live life with intention and purpose. Sometimes a life like that requires quitting. Let go of the guilt and find the value in ending something so you begin something else. When you add a level of competition of you vs. them you are taking yourself out of the game because the only person you should be competing with is yourself. Consider that the journey may be more important than the finish line.

Playing the Victim Card

All of the time I hear people say they did something because they didn’t have a choice. But, more often than not, they did. You don’t have to stand by and let the world tell you what to do. Take responsibility for your actions and stand up for yourself. If you’re in a toxic environment right now, make changes. Whether it’s in your professional career, personal life, or relationships, you’re not stuck. Stop being a victim and do what it takes to become a winner.

Fearing change.

Change can most certainly be scary—no doubt about it! But oftentimes once we get past the (usually irrational) fear, we’ll find opportunities that would have never come about otherwise. Leaving your friends and family and moving to a new city can be intimidating, but it just might open your eyes to how big the world actually is—there’s so much out there! Leaving a job you aren’t happy in might involve risks, but pursuing a dream or passion can feel similar to falling in love—everything suddenly becomes technicolor. Plus, seeing yourself disregard fear, overcome obstacles, and thrive is quite honestly sometimes better than falling in love.

Living in the past.

There is value in recognizing errors, learning from mistakes, and making amends for things you’ve done wrong—it’s called being a responsible, mature person. However, dwelling on those mistakes is a whole different topic. Dwelling doesn’t fix or change anything. It doesn’t heal the hearts we’ve broken or restore friendships. It just makes us miserable. Don’t go there. Do what you can to redeem what you can, then trust that what is supposed to happen will… And that you’ve done all you can to have a clear conscience. Don’t hold yourself in a prison of regret—live in freedom.

Quit Being So Serious

I’m not advocating a frivolous approach to life here but we could all do with a better sense of humor. For example, when talking to someone and the situation is getting a little tense, try injecting a bit of humor into the conversation. We all do it. Sometimes it’s because we really don’t like ourselves; sometimes it’s to make others (and ourselves) laugh. Being able to laugh at yourself is one thing—it’s attractive to be comfortable enough in who you are to let things go. Don’t take yourself so seriously. After all, we hear our own thoughts more than anything else throughout the day. Let’s learn to give ourselves peace.?

Overthinking.

Living in the past, but also applies to the present. We become so consumed with trying to say things perfectly, explaining what “we really meant” when we said you-fill-in-the-blank to so-and-so, and we end up oh so weary from all of the overthinking. Many times, what we are actually doing is trying to manage what other people think about us.?

But why do we worry so much about what other people think??

If we don’t like ourselves, then it’s hard to believe that anyone else does. When I was in college, one of the textbooks I was reading said that we often worry so much about what other people are thinking about us, yet they aren’t thinking about us at all. We are selfish people, and we think about ourselves more than anyone else—so chances are, that person you are worried about is probably worrying about themselves or simply thinking about the things that are going on in their own life.?

That’s kind of a relief, huh?

Quit thinking I’ll be happy when…

When you get this new apartment. When you get this new job. When you end up dating someone. Associating happiness with getting things will never make you happy when you finally do get them because you’ll continue to have that mindset of the next best thing. Learning to be happy with what you have when you have it will teach you to appreciate what you do get.

Quit the people who aren’t making you better.

You may want to change the world, but it is not your job to save or fix everyone or anyone you meet. Love deeply and give freely, but don’t hold yourself responsible for another person’s choices. Sometimes you have to realize the only thing you have in common with someone in the past. If someone isn’t pushing you forward or making you better the relationship isn’t one you need to invest time and energy into. With a little bit of tact and a healthy dose of self-respect, you can shape a better social life for yourself, one that you’ll be more comfortable and happy within the long run. Forgive and forget where you need to, but never allow others to repeatedly disrespect you or cross your personal boundaries. When something ends let it go. Don't water a dead flower.

Quit being afraid of the things you want.

If there’s something or someone you can’t stop thinking about go for it. You can spend as much time coming up with excuses for why you shouldn’t do something or you can channel that same energy into why you deserve everything you’ve ever wanted. Don’t just say yes to things because people ask you to say yes to the things you want. If you really want something that badly goes gets it. No one is going to hand it to you and all the luck in the world won’t make it happen for you. Parents add pressure to the life we live. Society adds pressure to where you are supposed to be and when you should achieve if you let go of what everyone else’s wants of you and focus on what you want for yourself that’s the first step in getting it.

There are dozens of ways we get in the way of achieving our full potential. We doubt ourselves, we decide that something is just too hard, or we tell ourselves that we'll worry about it tomorrow. If you really want to succeed--and I mean really succeed--stop focusing so much on what you should be doing and, instead, take a really good look at the things you should quit doing. Smoking is definitely one of those things.