Quit Fixing People and Start Coaching Them

Often when we want to coach people, we have the objective of fixing someone's problem or addressing an issue or fixing what might be perceived as a problem. The goal of coaching initially is to have a conversation and establish communication and rapport and a positive relationship. When we have a positive relationship, people become more receptive to coaching and certainly addressing areas of challenge. If our sole objective is to observe and immediately provide feedback and address something that we know that needs to be fixed, the people that are being coached will actually feel like they're trying to be fixed, which is not a comforting feeling. The goal of coaching is to invest in people and to establish rapport and a set of positive interactions. If we're positive with one another, ultimately people become more open to the areas where they have an opportunity to improve.

If our objective is to initially dive in and fix what we see as wrong, the relationship between the parties will always be predicated upon problems and things that need to be fixed, which psychologically can wear people down. In addition, this becomes a pattern for leaders where we can get conditioned to observe and fix which can tear apart the team dynamic and culture.

A little humor for you: what if someone was going to work and told their spouse before leaving for work "I cannot wait to get to work my boss / coach has another area they want to fix me, its really exciting". I bet you're laughing!

Here are the following steps that help get coaching off to a solid and cooperative start:

1. First, take the time to acknowledge the strengths and the good things that employees do - it's been estimated according to the book The Progress Principal that people are at their most motivated state 76% of the time when they are progressing and improving in their job.
2. Call people into the office for the good things they do and provide no other form of message - according to the Gallup organization people will engage eight times more when we lead with the good stuff they do versus constructive feedback.
3. Make sure you send a card or a note to each and every employee praising them for a specific job well done - there is a power in coaching and praising other people through the written word especially when you take hundred 20 seconds to send a card and mail it to their home where you will ultimately create a WOW effect.
4. Have simple conversations that are even outside of work related issues where you simply just discuss issues such as weekend plans or current topics in the news - when we create commonality and understanding of one another it simply breaks down walls associated with areas that need to be improved.

The goal is to establish communication and thoughtfulness, and if we invest in the good things, we always open the doors where people know they have opportunities to improve.