Quirks, preferences and unlocking follow-through

It will come as no surprise to anyone who knows me well to know that I own a lot of books. Despite my efforts to cull and minimize I seem to have an ever-growing collection. So every once in a while I try to go through them with the intent to scan several and decide whether they're "keepers" or if I can gift them forward (usually to a local charity).

This morning was one of those "once in a whiles," and ironically the first book I picked up was one about finishing what you start and following through on good intentions.

"Perfect," I thought. "This is definitely no accident. I'm a great starter but not as good a finisher." So I settled in to read.

And ten minutes later gave up the effort. Not because the book doesn't have worthwhile ideas in it - in fact, I don't actually know whether it does. No, I tossed it because it offended most of my "shoulds" about what books are supposed to be.

It had spelling mistakes. Misused words. Inconsistent formatting and indentation. And despite being written by two very educated individuals and featuring cover copy touting it as full of science about how and why the mind works and how to overcome our collective tendency to abandon good intentions - the first chapter began with a silly story about aliens and their view of Planet Earth.

I really WANTED to read this book. It's subject matter that no doubt could be very useful to me. Yet I didn't make it past the first 10 pages. And while I'm aware that the authors didn't write it just for me, they lost me as a member of their reader audience based on some simple errors of execution on things that happen to be very important to me. So as I tossed it into the giveaway bag it got me wondering. Does this happen to people at work? Could follow through and engagement be improved with just a little bit of attention to what matters to individuals?

I spend a lot of time working with clients on the idea that they will get better results with their colleagues if they adjust their approach to match that of their audience. Or, as a long time client of mine used to say, "Speak into the listening that's available." While that's usually been focused on communication style, my book experience suggests that this idea might be even simpler - and bigger - than that.

The fact is, we humans reveal our pet peeves and quirks pretty readily. So what if we paid closer attention to the fine print and subtext of our interactions, with the intent of designing our approach to have the greatest chance of success?

Meeting with a peer who fancies themselves as an expert in, let's say, coffee? Ask them what portable espresso maker or dark roast bean they recommend.

Elvis paraphernalia on the bookshelf behind the senior executive? There's probably a story that they're happy to tell (and yes, real life example).

Talking with a direct report who loves data and detail? Give them time to dig into charts and numbers that might cause your own eyes to glaze over.

Trying to get buy-in from a leader who is always concerned about the impact of a change on the people involved? Lead with that part of your proposal.

Need to persuade a colleague to vote in favour of your project? Find out what's important to them and connect there first before jumping into your own agenda.

Not that I want to venture into the "in the office or work from home" argument, but one benefit of seeing people's workspaces is the opportunity to observe what's important to them. Lots of photos of them with others? Ask about how they met that famous person or how they did in that tournament. Colour-coded and alphabetized files and binders? Come ready to present your ideas in an organized and methodical way. Absent those visual cues it's worthwhile to spend a few minutes at the outset of your video meetings chatting about what's going on for the other person, in hopes that they'll give you a clue or two about how they're wired.

I'm not suggesting that any quirk, preference or approach is good or bad, right or wrong. I'm hoping that what you'll take away from this is that in our increasingly polarized world it's possible to make connections and facilitate understanding with a very small effort paid to what others enjoy and value.

And if you're trying to get me to read a book - yours or anyone else's - please know that no matter how how much I want to read it and how hard might I try I won't be able to get through it if it violates basic standards of language and presentation.

Note: The aforementioned book was NOT Charlie Gilkey 's very excellent book, "Start Finishing." Charlie is as fanatic as I am when it comes to product quality, and his book delivers on both form AND substance. Highly recommend.