Quietening The Stalker In My Head

Our psychology and our physiology are inextricably linked. When you understand this and work with them, it can be a game changer. This has been one of my biggest lessons since my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis and I'm thankful for it every day.

When I was diagnosed with MS in 2006, I thought my world would never be the same again. 

I was right, but it changed in so many amazing ways.

Our thoughts are powerful. They can be our best friend or our worst enemy. 

Memories of Mum battling with her MS came back kicking and screaming. 

The consultant’s words to me ringing in my ears “when you end up in a chair” were LOUD. 

I was terrified.

The voice inside was angry, insistent and totally in agreement with the medics. 

“Just give up now,” it shouted. 

Then changing its tack...

“There’s no point,” it purred, gently, persuasively. “This can only go one way. Make peace with it. “

It certainly had a point. And for a while I did try to make peace. 

I reached out to some online support groups, but there was a problem. Too much of them and they kept me in that place of deep anxiety, unable and sometimes unwilling to move out of the diagnosis. 

My negative thoughts loved me in that place.  “Stay,” they whispered. “Sit down, relax. Make yourself comfy.”

I did for a while. I was as comfy as you can be when you’re navigating stairs on your bum to get to the loo. 

I got attention. Lots of it. At least from the few people who knew.

Secondary gain rocks! And what was wrong with that? I needed something to feel good about, right?

But then something switched. 

I remembered and finally understood my mum’s comments about “not wanting to sit around with loads of people in wheelchairs” when it was suggested we go to another social support group gathering. 

As a kid, I thought it was just Mum being anti-social. It was so much more. 

It wasn’t about the people - those amazing, courageous people battling MS, or the wonderful carers - it was the fear of being caught in the MS quagmire, unable or unwilling to get out. One overarching narrative dragging you down into the mud until, exhausted, you stopped fighting.

A new, more positive voice switched on that day. It was louder, stronger and more insistent.

“Get up, get on and live!”

And I did. I decided I didn't want to end up in a chair - that medical consultant could take his 'words' of Damocles and stick them where the sun don't shine!

By this time, my mobility was severely compromised. I wasn't walking very well, struggled to navigate steps, had my wife walk into networking events in front of me so that her body shielded my 'condition' from people, and, as I've already described, I was having to get up and down stairs at home on my bottom!

Enough. I needed to change this. I *wanted* to change this.

I began to work on my mindset. I noticed a direct correlation between the way I was feeling, emotionally and energetically, and the way in which my body responded.

I looked into other ways to improve my overall health as well, and ended up working with a guy called Adam Stevens, who runs Intelligent Eating. He looked at my condition, my diagnosis, my supposed prognosis, and suggested I drastically change my diet.

I went from a committed carnivore to a whole food, oil-free, plant-based eating regime. Call it a miracle, call it mind over matter, even call it coincidence if you like - it matters not to me - but I was walking properly again within two weeks.

What else did I do? I changed my business. I went from co-running a full-service social media and PR agency, complete with 'big' clients and heaps of pressure, to sacking off the clients whose payments in no way balanced the stress that came with the package, and focusing almost exclusively on the work that made my soul sing.

These days, I work with business owners, coaches, trainers, authors and consultants as a content coach - using my journalistic and PR experience to help them pull out and hone their story, perfect their social bios and come up with an endless steam of engaging blogs, articles and posts. I also help people to write and publish their books, ghost writing and editing where needed, run training programmes on content creation and speak at business events as well.

I'm also enrolled onto a new programme right now to add to my coaching and support skillset, as well as top up my happiness levels.

And when I'm not doing that? I'm the proud curator of a TEDx event, and I'm also deeply engaged with meditation, energy and mindset work - it helped me so much, so I love being able to support others with the tools and methodologies I've learned.

Do I ever get 'twinges'? Sure. Occasional pins and needles in my feet - 'fizzy feet', as I call it. When this happens, though, it's a sure sign I haven't been looking after myself properly - I've not been drinking enough water, I haven't been eating well, or I haven't been paying enough attention to my mindset.

I'm not counting my chickens. I know life can turn on a dime (or a penny, because I'm not American!). I know I need to keep on looking after my health, inside and out, and I know there are so, so many people out there who haven't been as lucky, either with the severity of their illness, the support networks around them or the understanding of that connection between our psychology and our physiology.

Compared to so many out there, I've had it easy - and I'm deeply grateful for that every day. Honestly, if the worst I have to complain about is now having to renew my driving licence every three years, my life's not so bad - even with the MS label attached to it.

What I do know, though, is that my health, my mood, my outlook and - yes my prognosis, could have been so much worse had I not chosen to turn things around.

Was there a turning point in your life when you turned things around?

* It's MS Awareness Week from April 19 to 25. To find out more about Multiple Sclerosis and for help and support, check out these organisations.

mssociety.org.uk

mstrust.org.uk

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