Quiet Firings and Quiet Promotions

As a leader of an organization I’ve read a lot about the recent phenomena of quiet firing (alienating or under appreciating an employee in the hopes they will quit) and quiet promotions (giving an employee more responsibility without increased compensation). One of the things I’ve spent years working on and trying to be better at as a leader is empathy. I’ve written before about how sometimes I can be so calculated, especially professionally, that I tend to lose sight of the “feeling” side of things. But with everything that has been going on in this space I’ve really been trying to “sit in this” and ask myself how it must?feel?to be one of these employees who are in this situation. Truthfully, I’ve been an employee for many more years than I’ve been a CEO, so it’s really not hard to put myself in this mindset.?

So I’ll start by saying this: I get it. I understand that helpless feeling when you’ve put your blood, sweat, and tears into an organization but it doesn’t feel like that organization loves you back. I know what it’s like to watch your hard work grow a place and have the people who should be looking out for you let you down. Believe me, I know it in my bones. I know that feeling in the pit of your stomach and the anxiety that fills up inside you when you are just stepping into the office. You put on a fake face trying to pretend like it’s ok when every fiber of you tells you that it’s not. And I’m really sorry for that. Just typing these words brings me back to exactly how that felt for me. As a leader I want you to know that I’ve made myself sit in that feeling for hours before I wrote this article. I hope for better for you and if you’re someone feeling like that I want better for you. You deserve it.?

I will say as a leader I hope our organization never does that. I hope we never make anyone feel like that. But the reality is there is no way we won’t, there’s no way we haven’t. And that hurts. I want our company to be better. I want us to be this beacon of hope for employees that say to themselves “this is the way it’s supposed to be.” But the fact is sometimes we will fall short. Even if we are better, we will never be perfect. And I can tell you, as a perfectionist, that hurts too. So I make myself sit in that feeling too. Truthfully my #1 fear in my life is letting people down. It’s what drives me. Whether it’s my children, my loved ones, our shareholders, my co-workers, or our customers; I lose sleep on a regular basis out of the fear and anxiety I will let them down. And the sad truth is, at least in small ways, I will let all of them down too. But all I can do is get up off the mat and keep driving forward. If there is one thing I know I have it’s the relentless pursuit of getting better. Nothing is ever good enough and I use that fire to grind harder and harder everyday. All I can hope for is that those people I let down know that about me and have faith I will keep working hard for them.?

So where am I going with all this? Truthfully as a leader I’m asking for help. Over the last 3-6 months our company has experienced more professional success than any other private organization I’ve supported has in my previous 10 years combined. It’s legitimately life changing success. But personally I’ve been going through probably the toughest time of my life. I know that I’ll survive and be fine but I can say that it has been maddening to feel so successful and like such a total failure at the same time. And realistically all of these things mean I haven’t been the leader I want to be. The leader I demand that I be. What’s happened is I’ve been living off the backs of our amazing team, which they truly are. Without them none of these things would have been possible. My only solace is that I have so much faith in them and I’ve seen them take us to new heights all on their own.?For that I will be eternally grateful.

So again, what is the point of that statement? Simply this: Your leaders are human. Please help us. Honestly we are just like you. We have hopes and dreams. We have fears and anxieties. We also have real lives that make us better or worse at our jobs. Don’t make the mistake of making your company into this “thing” that is treating you poorly. Companies are just a collection of people. So just like I have true and honest empathy for you if you have been “quietly” fired or promoted. I ask only one thing in return, if you really believe in your organization and your leaders, trust in the people enough to have open and honest conversations about your wants, needs, and desires. Because you also have the ability for the empathy that 1) people are human and we make mistakes 2) you never know what’s going on in peoples lives and 3) good leaders will always be honest about where you sit. They may not give you the answer you want to hear, but the?spoken?uncomfortable truth will be way better than the quiet sickening place you are in right now.?If I can give one piece of unsolicited advice: Don't forget to be the main character in your own movie.

If after all that you still aren’t satisfied, then as a former employee and current business owner I want to say out loud: I?feel?for you and wish you the best. You deserve it. I’ve moved on from places like that and it was the right decision. For my part, I just want you to know as a leader, letting you down hits me hard. And I’m sure I’m not the only one.