The Quiet Crisis: Exploring the Intersection of Introversion and Mental Health
Sam Sheppard ?
Personal Branding for Introverts | Helping companies nurture their introverted talent for a more inclusive workplace | Keynote Speaker | Corporate Facilitator | Consultant | Coach
This is, perhaps, an overshare. And it's definitely vulnerable. But hopefully you'll see why I have chosen to share it by the end of this newsletter.
I recently travelled solo to Mauritius.
And on the plane home I had to be given oxygen.
People frequently call me brave, as I travel solo often and share my travel adventures with my personal networks.
But, solo travel doesn't phase me.
It's freedom to me: I LOVE it!
Yes, I've had my fair share of terrifying (in the moment) experiences (nothing to date has topped that time I ended up in a room that locked from the outside in Githurai, Nairobi - many of you reading this know that story) but I enjoy finding a way through and taking the learning.
But the reality is I suffer from a really severe (off all medical charts) anxiety disorder and, whilst I generally manage it well, sometimes it breaks free of my control and overwhelmes me.
Right before I went to Mauritius I was mentally in a really bad place, due to several really awful life events spanning the past year, many of which are also incredibly stressful. This resulted in my anxiety being up but also having thoughts so dark (life seemed VERY bleak at one point) that I now have to see my GP every fortnight as they're so worried about me.
But travel, for me, is my therapy.
And by the end of my time road trippin' around the island I felt like a new person.
It was therefore a surprise, even to myself, that I found myself having a panic attack on the plane home.
I've always hated being the centre of attention
When I have control over my body, I have historically tolerated a LOT of discomfort rather than draw attention to myself.
My flight home from Mauritius was completely full - every seat taken - but it was also incredibly packed.
The seat pitches were smaller even than on Ryanair (shoutout to Turkish Airlines for making that choice for a 10.5 hour flight); I'm 5' 7" and my knees were in contact with the seat in front. The seats were also incredibly narrow.
This meant the plane felt pretty claustrophobic - and I say this as someone who usually feels safer in small spaces.
Whilst I'm a pretty good flyer, I do need to be in a window seat to not feel anxious (people in my personal space is a big thing for me, so I try to minimise that, and people walking past an aisle seat would be a huge anxiety trigger).
I'd paid extra for mine.
I also chose to sit right at the back of the plane with the logic that it would be more likely to be quieter there.
Wrong.
As soon as we took off, the man in front of me fully reclined his seat, removing the last little bit of personal space I had.
My screen was so close to my nose my eyes wouldn't focus - the seat was just a couple of inches from my face.
I felt the panic rise inside me, so began to focus on my breathing.
We were navigating past the cyclone over Madagascar and so the seatbelt signs remained on.
Silent tears involuntary began to trickle down my face, as despite my best efforts I couldn't get my breath and I'd entered full fight or flight.
A passing air hostess noticed and I explained I couldn't breathe and would like to go to the space at the back of the plane to feel like I had some air.
She said I couldn't move until the seatbelt light was turned off.
It remained on for a further hour or so.
By this time, my breathing was ragged and I was entering a full panic attack; none of the techniques I know were helping and I just wanted to get out of that tiny little space.
A nearby passenger noticed, alerted the air hostess and suddenly I was the subject of an "Is there a doctor on board?" callout and a whole lot of fuss I didn't want.
It made NO sense to me that they wouldn't let me leave my seat (going to the area where I had some space would have enabled me to calm myself down) but anyone with medical credentials was invited to come and stand in the aisle.
I soon found myself surrounded by even more people, including a male doctor who made the situation worse by repeatedly touching me, getting further into my personal space and asking questions I didn't have the capacity to answer.
The air hostess then put an oxygen mask over my nose and instructed me to breathe.
I felt everyone's eyes on me, and wanted to disappear.
The oxygen helped a little, but what helped most was being allowed to move once the seatbelt light was off.
I spent most of those 10.5 hours in the little space at the back of the plane.
We still don't have a good enough understanding of mental health
This experience led to the reflection that, in society, we still don't understand mental health as we should.
Even medical professionals.
That GP on board 100% made everything worse for me by trying to help.
(His daughter actually seemed to have a better understanding, as she told me as we were getting off the plane how she too had been battling a panic attack and had been physically sick due to how claustrophobic the plane was).
And as it's the start of Mental Health Awareness Month, I want to invite you to the conversation.
It's only by talking about our experiences, and normalising them, that we can make change happen.
That's why I'm sharing something I'm having to work on not feeling shame about (if it were someone else I wouldn't think they had any reason to feel shame but it's harder to detach from shame when it's ourselves).
It's particularly important for introverts that these conversations happen.
Introverts are more vulnerable to mental health issues
Several studies have shown there is a correlation between introversion and increased susceptibility to mental health challenges.
One example dates as far back as 2007, when Balder found
'...introverts are more vulnerable than extroverts to depression and decreased mental well-being. Introverts are more likely to be compliant and have lower self-esteem than extroverts, and also have less social support than extroverts, which can be detrimental when experiencing depression. Western culture gives preference to extroverted individuals, which pressures introverts to attempt to change their personalities.'
I wrote not too long ago about my own theory that given the neurobiology of introverts means we think before we speak/ act we are likely more prone to overthinking....and if we're more prone to overthinking then it stands to reason we're by default more prone to anxiety.
I've not looked into any actual research on this yet, 'cos life, but it's worth thinking about.
Let's normalise having mental health challenges, and advocate for those going through them: we're stronger together.
Please feel free to share this newsletter with anyone it may help ??
Much love,
Sam
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P.S.?Ways I can help you:
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About Me
I'm Sam ? and I'm on a mission to change the workplace bias towards extroversion, to achieve greater, intersectional, inclusivity for introverts.
As well as help high achieving introverts to thrive without changing who they are.
Companies:
I offer consulting, training and coaching for DEI professionals, leaders/ managers and those involved in hiring.
I am also a keynote speaker.
p.s. I LOVE to travel ??
Introverts:
I can help you achieve your professional goals, feel confident in your introversion and be able to step into your power OR I can help you escape the 9-5 and achieve optimal wellbeing through financial freedom.
DM me for more information!