Quick fix therapy?
Dr Anne Duguid
First, find beauty in little places. Second, of course my views are my own, who else's would they be? Chartered Psychologist specialist in trauma and finding resolutions to difficult negotiations
I got told today that people only want what they want - quick-fixes.
I’m not sure how I feel about that.?
For sure, change can happen super-fast - in a moment. Many times, I have seen something ‘click’ for clients. But if I was to promise this one ‘revelation’ was the end of the change process, I’d be lying.
When I started out, I had a mindset of do ‘the work’ quick, get the client where they want to be, and then send them off.?
I thought by doing this I wouldn’t nurture dependence and my clients could get out there, living their best, independent lives. However, what I found was that over the years my clients kept coming back.
The usual pattern turned out to be?that after our initial work, the client disappeared for a few months but then when ‘stuff’ happened, they got back in touch.
Perhaps, if I was working with clients who had discrete challenges I would fully ‘discharge’ more often, but my client group generally have complex family and relational backstories. It takes time for them to unpick these, understand the tentacles their early experiences have had on their personal and professional lives, and ultimately learn how to do things differently.?
So, I do not offer them a ‘magic wand’ for some very good reasons:
Clients come to me at their most disheartened, timid, and scared. They honour me by proffering their invitation to prove that I am trustworthy. They offer me their small glimmer of hope that change is possible.?
They have generally been let down repeatedly by family, friends, other professionals, and often as children, the adults around them were far from perfect. They have learnt that faith in another person is a risky proposition and that at all times they need to stay wary and watchful for imminent attack.
My task is primarily then to nurture the therapeutic alliance.
I have to consistently demonstrate authenticity, openness, vulnerability, and honesty. I have to show them it is okay for them to be themselves, by being myself. I cannot demand my clients show me their scars, whilst claiming the God-like status?of many a therapist. Nor, can I make false promises of easy fixes - they would smell the stench of disingenuity rolling off me and I would be yet another 'adult' who manipulates and invades.
So, yes, of course I can do the ‘magic’ NLP/coaching/marketing/chatbot chicanery – the McDonalds of change – bite-sized, hormonally-pumped, nuggets of ‘worldly wisdom’ which leave you with nothing but a gnawing hunger. It’s not difficult. InstaTok followership numbers clearly demonstrate that. But the clients who work with me demand more.
They crave something deeper and more profound: peace, wholeness, and connection.
They want values. They want compassion. They want challenge. They want reinforcement. They want clarity. They want exploration. They want relearning. They want safety.
In return, I give them what they truly need and deserve. Kindness.
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That's why they find their way to me.?
____________________________
?? I am Dr Anne
??Founder of My Freedom To Thrive.
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Visiting Professor of Psychology at University of Suffolk
2 年Written by a person - how quaint.