A Quick Email Rant…

Good morning reader (Yup, I am talking to directly to you!),

I know it’s early but I have something I have to get off my chest. Hopefully you already have coffee in your belly or, in my case, a diet Coke!

I HATE email! Who doesn’t? We complain about the idiot that hits reply all. We “bitch” about the cake in the café via email and then send the message to recipients who are 3,000 miles away. We rant about the minute-by-minute misuse of email, like the person who emails about the car in the lot with license plate number 123456 that has its lights on. Unless it’s my car, I don’t care!

 These days, everything I do with email is wrong. I am too formal, too polite, too long-winded, too expressive… the list goes on. Being told (even by my wife!) that my email habits are old-fashioned has made me realize that I’m either getting way too old or that the years have simply eroded my natural coolness.

Have you ever seen two people sitting in extremely close proximity emailing each other? Instead of simply popping their heads out of their prairie dog cubicles to talk to one another?

I just can’t stand the impersonal nature—or casualness—of email.

IMHO, inundating your emails with acronyms, hash tags and overused colloquialisms is completely unnecessary. 4COL, stop trying to be TCFW, or too cool for words. See, even I can make up an acronym. #KillTheAcronym

Since when has it become a crime to be respectful and—yes—a little formal in email? I believe that being too casual too soon or too often with your email is a recipe for disaster.

Some more pet peeves:

• No subject lines—how do I know what we need to talk about?
• No greetings in a new email thread. What not enough time? Then don’t send me the email because I don’t have the time to read it.
• No sign-off message. How long does it really take to write, “Have a great day?”
• Being impersonal with those whom you have an existing relationship. Why can’t we build alevel of connectedness into our emails?
• Strangers who think we are acquaintances. I can’t tell you how many times I get emails from someone trying to sell me something and they write things like, “Hi Tim, I hope you don’t mind the interruption.” Yes, I do mind!

404 (I don’t know) why we send pithy messages with no salutation or signature. We stuff our emails with confusing acronyms. We blanket the true meaning of our words with jokes and passive-aggressive isms (is that smiley face sarcastic or sincere?). It’s not that I am stuffy. I do, after all, have a life-size super hero caricature of myself in my office. It’s just that I wish we could bring some of that old-fashioned politeness to our email messages.

Every time we communicate with someone—whether it’s through text, IM, Lync, email, LinkedIn, Facebook or snail mail (millennials, ask your parents what that is!)—we have to understand that we are dealing with actual people. We need to talk to one another in a way that makes us all feel good, connotes respect and builds upon the relationship, even when the topic is difficult.

So as I leave you today, dear reader, I implore you to spend just five minutes thinking about one email today. Try something daring. Try to use email to truly connect with someone. Maybe send a note of recognition to a colleague who is having a difficult day. Maybe you could reach out that friend who you haven’t spoken to in a while. Maybe you could actually sign an email ….

Warmest regards! (This is a great all-purpose business salutation, by the way. It works well with people you have corresponded with in the past and feels warm while business—appropriate kind)

Tim Hebert

P.S.: If you’re anything like me and lost in this new-age form of communication, start educating yourself here. Consider yourself forewarned!