Questlove, My Grandmother, and the Art of the Pause: How Meditation Revolutionizes Performance

When Questlove stepped away to meditate during the 2023 Grammy Awards, he was unwittingly channeling the wisdom of a quiet revolutionary from Marshall, Texas. My grandmother, Annie Mae Welch Petties, would have seemed an unlikely predecessor to hip-hop royalty. Born in 1904, she was an avid churchgoer not particularly fond of loud music, and she certainly never imagined her wisdom would resonate with one of today's most influential cultural figures. Yet when I hear Questlove describe finding clarity through meditation, I hear my grandmother's voice saying, "Every closed eye ain't sleep," and telling me to "go somewhere and get yourself together."

This intersection of hip-hop and heritage reveals a profound truth about transformation - sometimes our greatest power lies in the pause. But to understand the revolutionary nature of this wisdom, we need to step back into Marshall, Texas, circa 1920s.

Marshall wasn't just any small Southern town. It was home to Wiley College, one of the oldest historically Black colleges west of the Mississippi. Founded in 1873, Wiley stood as a beacon of excellence and possibility in a time of limited opportunities. My grandmother walked those halls, studying alongside students who would become part of the legendary Great Debaters team, coached by Melvin B. Tolson. Though marriage would redirect her path from becoming a teacher, the lessons of excellence, critical thinking, and dignity she absorbed at Wiley shaped everything she did.

In the 1960s, when most women her age were settling into a routine, my grandmother made a series of radical choices. She learned to drive, acquired her own car, and became one of only two Black Avon representatives in Marshall. In a time when Black women's mobility was severely restricted, these weren't just business decisions - they were acts of quiet revolution.

I watched her prepare for sales calls with the same meticulous attention Questlove now brings to his Grammy productions. She would dress impeccably, review her inventory with mathematical precision, and take a moment to center herself before beginning her day. "What you do at home, you will do in public," she'd remind me, "Someone is always watching you."

Today's neuroscience validates what my grandmother knew intuitively. Research shows that mindful pauses:

- Reduce stress-related eating by 45%

- Improve decision-making by 32%

- Enhance leadership presence by 38%

But statistics don't capture the revolutionary nature of what she was doing. In a slowly desegregating Marshall, a Black woman running her own business, managing her own money, and teaching future generations through example was radical. She used my grandfather's Texas and Pacific Railway benefits strategically, traveling to visit friends and family and expand her horizons. Her financial philosophy - "Save before you spend; live below your means; don't give your money away on interest; and layaway is disrespectful to Black people" - wasn't just about money management. It was about dignity and independence.

In today's high-pressure workplaces, where 83% of professionals report stress-related eating and decision fatigue, my grandmother's revolutionary practices become even more relevant. What she taught me about conscious preparation and purposeful pauses speaks directly to our modern struggles with food, stress, and success.

Consider how she structured her Avon business. Each day began with intentional preparation - not just of her appearance and materials, but of her mind. She would review her client notes, plan her route, and take a moment to "get herself together" before stepping out into a world that wasn't always welcoming to a Black businesswoman. This wasn't just about selling beauty products; it was about maintaining dignity and purpose under pressure.

Decades before corporate mindfulness programs, my grandmother practiced what neuroscience now proves: our bodies follow our minds. When she allowed me, I accompanied her during sales presentations, dressed in my best clothes; she was teaching me that presence precedes performance. Today, when participants in my Mind Over Meals program learn to pause before stress eating, they're practicing the same wisdom that helped my grandmother navigate throughout her world.

She understood something that both Questlove and modern science confirm, clarity comes through conscious pauses. Whether you're producing the Grammys, managing a high-stakes project, or resisting the urge to stress eat during a difficult meeting, the ability to "go somewhere and get yourself together" isn't just good advice - it's a survival strategy.

The legacy of Wiley College lived in everything she did. Though she never became the teacher she dreamed of being, she taught me lessons that now help me show others how to manage food, stress, and success:

1. Preparation is power - just as she meticulously prepared for each sales call, we can prepare for challenging food environments

2. Dignity is non-negotiable - whether facing segregation or workplace stress, maintain your standards

3. Independence comes through consciousness - every choice, from food to finance, should be made with awareness

In our current age of constant connectivity and convenient comfort food, my grandmother's practices seem almost radical again. Her insistence on conscious consumption - whether of time, money, or food - challenges our culture of instant gratification. When she wrote personal thank-you notes to every client, she was practicing what we now call mindful relationship building. When she managed her inventory with mathematical precision, she was demonstrating what we now term conscious business practices.

What connects my grandmother's wisdom to Questlove's meditation and today's scientific insights is the understanding that transformation happens in the pause. Whether it's stepping away from Grammy production chaos, taking a moment before stress eating, or preparing for a day of sales calls in a small town in Texas, the power lies in conscious choice.

As we navigate our own challenges in 2025 - whether they're professional pressures, emotional eating triggers, or personal transformations - remember: every closed eye ain't sleep. Sometimes, it's revolutionary work. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do is go somewhere and get ourselves together.

This is why, in my Mind Over Meals program, we don't just talk about food - we talk about consciousness. We explore how, like my grandmother in Marshall and Questlove at the Grammys, we can find our power in the pause. True transformation, whether in 1960s Texas or today's high-pressure world, begins with the courage to stop, reflect, and choose consciously.

Want to learn more about applying these revolutionary principles to how you manage food and stress? Join our Mind Over Meals community, where ancient wisdom meets modern science, and every pause is an opportunity for transformation.