Question Yourself

It's mental health week, you know what this means.

If you've been following me for a while, you know I have a long history and emotional attachment to this week's mission as mental health is the one thing most entrepreneurs will sacrifice "for the greater good"

I make it a point to put pen to paper every year during this week to just "lift the curtain" on what's keeping me up at night. The kind of inner dialogues that we all have but keep to ourselves, thinking "we're all so different and alone with our struggles".

In hopes that this will somehow spark some introspection, conversations or change for at least one of you out there, here goes me, being as transparent as can be.

I'm 36 now and just starting to realize I don't know the difference between self-confidence and self-worth.?

Don't get me wrong, I'm a survivalist, a go-getter, potentially an overachiever at times. I have 100% faith in my capabilities. I will always be willing to bet on me, whatever happens.

But when my therapist asked me if I knew how self-confidence and self-worth differed, I didn't know. I couldn't tell if I had self-worth, I was stumped. And it's been obsessing me ever since.

In business, we often fall in the trap of creating a toxic between our relation to our self, and the output we generate. I thrive, so I am a success. I fail, so I'm a failure.

While we all know it's inaccurate, it is human nature to believe the lies we tell ourselves. Even more so when the spotlight is on you as an entrepreneur and you're expected to perform.

For nearly 20 years, I've had this unconscious inner dialogue that I had to accomplish all of these great things just to be "considered as equal".

Success = Self-Worth. I did pretty well in my life in most of the things I've thrown myself into, but the problem is, it's never enough.

There's always "something more to build, something new to fix". It's a glorified "rat race"

While I believe this is one of the many things that gave me an edge and got me to where I am today, I now see how it's not sustainable. This false belief became a "truth" that was a lie to begin with. I'm finding out I don't believe I have self-worth. Well, I do, but I don't know how much and what it's based on.

While it may sound negative or sad, it's not. At least, I don't feel it as such. I see this as just a new thing to explore.

Most of our decisions are influenced in some way, shape or form, by our level of self-worth. I can see how I sabotaged myself on multiple occasions because of a lack of self-worth, and how it has always fed into my "big brother/Let me help you" pattern:

• I always attributed my self-worth to the level of help or value I could provide to others, even if it came to my detriment. Or become overbearing
• It explains how I can't "stop doing things" and feel guilt when I take vacations or have nothing planned on my schedule.
• It supports why my mood is swinging from side to side in a single day depending on how well sales are doing, product is performing, etc.

In the spirit of Mental Health's week, I'm taking this public to show that whatever you've accomplished, how ever old you feel you are, it's never too late to kill your ego and shake your belief system to its core. It's a challenging process, one that is worth it if you follow through. From closed-door conversations I've had, I know this will resonate with a few people here.

Accomplishing a lot won't make up for lack of your self-worth. It may buy you time but inevitably, you will feel the fatigue over "chasing that next shiny object" and realize there's a bigger potential underlying thing to focus on.

I'm not perfect, but I allow myself now to think I've accomplished enough to allow myself a "mental clean slate" and build a new inner dialogue.

We'll see where that takes me.

Always willing to grow. Always willing to call out my own BS.

#egodeath #growthmindset #shedthedeadweight #mentalhealth