Self-Doubt: Good or Bad?

You're here because you have already achieved some outer success and got to your current executive leadership position. But growth doesn't have to stop here. There is a thrill and satisfaction in challenging yourself, stretching and seeing how much you can achieve. Have an impact and make a contribution.

The talents, skills and tools that have got you to this point will not necessarily take you further. Or the approaches you've used to achieve this success may have been expensive in terms of time, energy, stress and effect on your relationship. You need new or upgraded power tools to make sure you can sustain or advance your position more easily.

The High-Performance Executive Newsletter introduces these tools, so that you can level up, as video-gamers would say. It draws on many areas of solid research into high-performance in business, including neuroscience, psychology, physiology, trauma therapy and flow-state study.

The three essential areas for high performance are neuro-regulation (to get and stay calm), clear the negative self-talk and the beliefs that create them (including imposter syndrome), and create new success habits.

This week we're looking at self-belief and self-doubt.

Self-doubt and doubting yourself

What’s the difference between self-doubt and doubting yourself?

Does it sound like a trick question?

Because they sound like the same thing.

Many people confuse them, but in reality, they are worlds apart.

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The difference between:

- who we are,

- what we have done

- what we can do

are not well separated in our language, we tend to mix them up.

Language reveals our basic assumptions - our beliefs are baked right into it. This is especially true with the term 'self-doubt.'

So it's unsurprising that we don’t have separate words for doubting/questioning our actions, doubting our ability and doubting/questioning our innate self.

I wanted to give a dictionary definition of self-doubt here ... but there were too many alternatives on Google and no consensus!

All these kinds of doubting are conflated in the term ‘self-doubt.'

The problem here is clarity. When we mix up the concepts in our words, we mix them up in our minds.

Is self-doubt a useful tool or a destructive mindset? When we don't define our terms clearly we end up with confusion and drawing the wrong conclusions.

Here I'll separate out different types of self-doubt so that you can decide whether you're being a balanced, reflective leader or undermining your career.

Doubting your actions

Doubting yourself often means reflecting on your words and actions and reconsidering;

Was that the right decision?

Could I have phrased that better?

Is there a better plan?

This kind of reflective analysis is a valuable and necessary part of good leadership.

When you assess your past performance, you can learn from it and improve.

When you are willing to consider the possibility that you made a mistake or wrong conclusion, then you are a leader who can learn, adjust and grow, which benefits your business and those you lead.

This is why you may hear people say that self-doubt is a good thing.

What they really mean reflective analysis is a good thing.

Doubting your ability

Another kind of self-doubt is questioning your abilities.

Am I capable of this work?

Can I do this job?

Do I need more training?

It is possible to ask yourself these questions without thinking of yourself as bad because of it.

When you are clear about which question you are asking yourself, then the solution is easier to find.

If you genuinely need more skills training, then take action and go and do it.

Doubting your worth

Doubting your worth is a destructive behaviour pattern, seen with imposter syndrome.

It’s the feeling or thought that you’re not (quite) good enough, despite plenty of success.

It is doubting your worth as a human being, doubting who you are and what you ‘deserve’ as a result.

This kind of self-doubt eats away at your confidence and creates a sense of isolation and a worry about being ‘found out’.

It can drag you down and hold you back, as it does for over 70% of high-achievers.

You are successful despite this kind of self-doubt, not because of it.

Instead of a one-off re-evaluation of your actions, you might replay them over and over in your mind, berating yourself for what you have done or not done.

This rumination is driven by the belief that your worth is conditional – that it depends on what you do.

It is an identity-level belief that imperfections or mistakes make you a bad person. THis is the underlying cause of imposter syndrome.

Self-doubt like this is demoralising, exhausting, stressful and creates anxiety and overwhelm. THis kind of self-doubt has no value for you or your career.

Getting Clarity

The difference between these kind of self-doubt are questioning what you have done (or can do) vs questioning who you are.

Separate these and you can focus on review and re-evaluation. Then you can comfortably evaluate your performance without creating the anxiety, exhaustion, frustration and overwhelm of douting your worth.

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What I’ve loved (re-read!) this week:

Words Can Change Your Brain by Andrew Newberg and Mark Robert Waldman

This fabulous book looks at refining your communication from a scientific viewpoint. It explores language, pace, neuroscience, values and compassionate communication.

It is especially relevant for leaders, and gives 12 practical steps for powerful communication.

I’m on my third reading of the book, it’s that good. It is chock full of great?information and techniques for excellent communication.

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An action step you can do today…

When you find yourself doubting yourself in any way, first separate exactly what you are doubting. Your actions in the past, your capability for the future or yourself as a person.

Here is a flow chart to help you determine what your self-doubt is doing for you (or not) and whether you need to take any action such as getting training or addressing imposter syndrome.

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We'll cover more on self-belief in future issues.

Do subscribe and share!

I’m Dr Tara Halliday, Imposter Syndrome Specialist.

I’ve been a holistic therapist and high-performance coach for over 21 years.

I'm the creator of the Inner Success for Execs programme - the fastest and best solution to imposter syndrome.

My book, Unmasking: The Coach’s Guide to Imposter Syndrome was an Amazon #1 bestseller in 2018.

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Check out the Inner Success for Execs programme for fast 'up levelling' of your internal leadership tools.

https://www.completesuccess.co.uk

Think you may have imposter syndrome? Take this free quiz to find out:

https://bit.ly/ImpostorQuiz

Want to fast-track and have a chat about your inner success, book a quick 15-minute call here:

https://bit.ly/callTara

Have an excellent, refreshing and recharging weekend!

Tara

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