A Question is Like a Flashlight

Nancy Edwards, a former coworker and good friend, shared an article from Southwest's Spirit Magazine titled "Chasing Beautiful Questions." In it, I found a quote from Steve Quatrano of the Right Question Institute:

"A question is like a flashlight that we shine into the darkness, allowing us to move forward into the unknown and uncertain."

I loved the analogy of a question being like a flashlight because it’s so memorable! It also emphasizes that asking good questions is crucial for effective persuasion.

The Principle of Liking

When it comes to the principle of liking—where we find it easier to say yes to those we know and like—questions are key. They help us discover common ground with others, such as shared hometowns, hobbies, or sports teams. These similarities engage the principle of liking, making it easier for people to say "Yes" to us.

Imagine meeting someone who enjoys the same sports team or hobby. Studies show that finding these commonalities makes it easier for them to like you and vice versa. The end result? It’s easier for them to say "Yes" to your requests.

You can uncover these commonalities in various ways—by asking mutual acquaintances, searching online, or simply shining the light of good questions during your interactions.

Engaging Consistency

Good questions are also vital for engaging the principle of consistency. People like to remain consistent with their beliefs, values, and past behaviors. If you can align your request with these elements, it becomes easier for them to say yes.?

To discover these elements, you can again talk to people who know the person you’re trying to persuade or look online. Understanding their values and beliefs allows you to craft questions that align your requests with their internal compass.

Highlighting Scarcity

Finally, good questions can highlight the principle of scarcity, which states that people are more motivated by potential losses than gains. However, rather than just telling someone what they might lose, asking questions that illuminate potential losses is more effective.

For instance, in the insurance industry, an agent might ask a prospective customer:

"If you were to have a catastrophic loss, would you expect your insurance to cover the full replacement cost of your building?"

When the customer realizes their current coverage is insufficient, the agent has effectively used a question to shine a light on a dark place, helping the customer see the importance of having adequate coverage.

The Power of Questions in Sales

Whether you want to connect through liking, engage through consistency, or highlight potential loss through scarcity, good questions are your most powerful tool. They illuminate hidden areas, making it easier to guide others toward the answers and actions that benefit them and align with your goals.?

Remember, a well-placed question can transform a conversation and lead to greater persuasive success. So, next time you're in a conversation, think of your questions as flashlights—use them to shine light into the unknown and help guide both you and your counterpart to a better understanding and agreement.

Edited with ChatGPT

Brian Ahearn

Brian Ahearn is the Chief Influence Officer at Influence PEOPLE and a faculty member at the Cialdini Institute. An author, TEDx presenter, international speaker, coach, and consultant, Brian helps clients apply influence in everyday situations to boost results. As one of only a dozen Cialdini Method Certified Trainers in the world, Brian was personally trained and endorsed by Robert Cialdini, Ph.D., the most cited living social psychologist on the science of ethical influence.

Brian’s first book, Influence PEOPLE, was named one of the 100 Best Influence Books of All Time by Book Authority. Persuasive Selling for Relationship Driven Insurance Agents was an Amazon new release bestseller. His latest book, The Influencer, is a business parable designed to teach you how to use influence in everyday situations.

Brian’s LinkedIn courses on persuasive selling and coaching have been viewed by over 700,000 people around the world and his TEDx Talk on pre-suasion has more than a million views!