Is it a Question of Equality or Respect?

These days Woman’s Equal Rights activists are on the rise. I can’t seem to pass a day without seeing a woman empowerment related article on one of my social media feeds. Yet I feel sometimes the real problem is not addressed.

Many a times even though a woman holds an equal ground to that of her male counterparts, she gets treated in a way that she feels she is inferior. Some men do it ‘respectfully’ others do it out of ‘concern’ and some do it just because they think women are not just as capable as men. There I said it! That’s the real problem. Even when you have a well thought through fool proof idea, just because it comes from a woman, it takes longer for her to get a buy in from her team.

Once I had a female co-worker tell me how she feels being a woman in corporate is so difficult. She and I were working with 6 men on a mission critical project. We were driving back home after an intense day. I had a particularly bad day in that an idea that could have helped the project was shot down without being given any good reasons. I sent out the proposal earlier on that day and when I came to the office my team just chose to ignore it. As much as I tried to get people to talk about it I was given a cold shoulder. As the only other woman in the group she acknowledged how well thought through the idea was and how she feels women find it harder to make their point. She even went on to say how she would support me the next day, if I can also do the same for her later. ‘We have to help each other out. They are not going to let us survive otherwise!”

Looking back in time this was not a one off case. Twelve years before I was campus recruited into a reputed Indian MNC as a software engineer, and we were getting assigned to projects. The manager was all in support for assigning all the women into testing roles (considered relatively easy in comparison to coding). When I insisted I wanted to code, I was reminded that it is not easy for women to ‘handle’ coding and I may also have to stay in very late.

At B-School a four member team (including me) was prepping for the final rounds of a very prestigious case competition. We had a great business idea, but the men in my team were struggling hard to put it across in a comprehensive PPT. When I suggested that we change the look and feel of the presentation, I was told the ‘PPT skills don’t earn us the prize, the business proposal does’. At the venue after meeting the other teams my team mates were super confident that they are going to win the competition and even went onto call the other team members ‘idiots with no business sense’. However we ended up losing the competition. The presentation that won first prize had exactly the same elements I proposed. On our way back I brought this up to my team mate who could not meet his eyes with mine.

Organizations tout on how they have managed to bring about gender balance. But tell me how many women actually work in mid/senior management roles? Not too many we all know. The reason I hear is women take a break as they have family commitments to honor. When you go through the same interview process and clear the same tests what you need is an even ground to work together and prejudices should take a back seat.

So the question here is about respect and the real sense of being equal. The change we are looking for is a change of disposition.

Next time your female colleague throws in an idea I seek you to please make a mental note to swallow the urge to ignore her just because the idea did not come from you. Hear her out and challenge her (logically and sensibly).

We will have the ‘equality in sight’ box checked, when the gender related ratios are balanced. Insecurities aside, when men and women work hard, hand in hand, and respect each other as colleagues who are equally capable of delivering quality results is when ‘equality in mindset’ will be achieved in organizations.