The Question-Behavior Effect

We all have made commitments we need to follow through on.

How often have we said, “I’ll exercise more,” “I’ll read/write more,” or “I’ll communicate more,” only to fall short of the goal or plan?

Of course, we intend to follow through, but intentions do not always translate into significant changes in habits.

It requires a mindset shift, where self-discipline takes shape, and we create more alignment with our desired future state of who we want to be.

This is why a tactic to create more psychological engagement can be so powerful for how our minds work.

When I look for concepts to integrate within my practices, I look for the most straightforward behavior with outsized benefits relative to the level of effort.

In this case, asking a well-designed question instead of making statements is a practical approach to changing habits or behaviors, especially when the facts are clearly on our side.

Unlike statements, questions evoke an active response—they make us pause and think, especially when we understand how to ask them.

The Question-Behavior Effect

Asking strategic questions is one of the most simple and effective psychological reframes to motivate ourselves or someone else to do something, form a habit, or change a behavior.

In a meta-analysis of 104 question-behavior studies , researchers from four universities discovered that asking is more effective than telling when influencing our own or another person’s behavior.

David Sprott, a co-author of the research from Washington State University, said:

“If you question a person about performing a future behavior, the likelihood of that behavior happening will change.”

In other words, it induces a higher likelihood of commitment than would otherwise exist. Questions prompt a different psychological reaction than statements.

Humans inherently don’t like to be told what to do, and statements inevitably come off that way, even if not intended.

Questions do not have that effect—they are more receptive to self-reflection, inquisition, and decision.

We don’t want suggestions or to feel like we’re being told; we want encouragement.

“Please recycle” is less effective than “Will you recycle?”

“I will eat vegetables today.” is less effective than “Will I eat vegetables today?”

“I will go to the gym today.” is less effective than “Will I go to the gym today?”

Here’s the trick:

The question-behavior effect is most effective when the questions can only be answered with ‘yes’ or ‘no' and repeated in alignment with the associated actions.

It’s even more powerful when it's calibrated to the receiver’s personal or professional goals (when answering yes to the question would bring them closer to who they want to be, as explained below).

Starting the question with “will” implies ownership and action.

It strengthens the effect compared to if it were started with ‘can,’ ‘could,’ or ‘would,’ which relies on conditional circumstances. Of course, we can or could, but that is not as direct as ‘will.’

Instead of leaving it as a possibility, reframe it to a probability, a likelihood of occurring where we’re left to determine the chances.

This approach elicits a commitment one way or another—results cannot be achieved without dedication and commitment.

Why It Works - Cognitive Dissonance

This concept is methodically simple yet logically complex.

Several theories explain this phenomenon and why it’s been proven widely by research.

However, cognitive dissonance seems to be the most intuitive and simple explanation—it describes the mental discomfort we experience when we realize who we want to be is not aligned with who we currently are.

Once we recognize a misalignment, we’re more likely to reduce that discomfort by answering ‘yes’ and following the path necessary to become who we want to be—or at least take steps in that direction.

The best thing about a yes-or-no question is that it doesn’t allow subjectivity or self-deception. It forces us to decide and commit to one option or another, minimizing our wiggle room for excuses or easy ways out.

We either do it or we don’t, and we significantly affect the likelihood.

It works well in a situation that would benefit from some additional motivation or encouragement.

So, for instance, rather than telling someone or ourselves that investing in a retirement fund is important, we can ask, “Will you set aside money for retirement?”

That question reminds us that investing is essential and causes slight discomfort if saving money is not an active habit.

That discomfort** motivates us to change and enables an opportunity to learn. When we aren’t exhibiting healthy or productive behavior, the question reminds us of our choices.

** We must recognize that discernment here is critical. We’re talking about a subtle, productive form of discomfort. This does not permit us to be insensitive to ourselves or others or invoke shame or guilt. Remember, this is about encouragement, not degradation. Be mindful of the person and situation.

How It Works

Researchers found that questioning effectively produces consistent and long-term changes across various behaviors for ourselves and others.

Based on the studies analyzed synthesized in the meta-analysis, direct questions influenced people to cheat less, exercise, volunteer, recycle, eat well, etc.

Again, it’s most effective when the answer to the question is yes or no, the facts are clearly on our side (we know there are no significant circumstantial impediments), and motivation is the primary blocker.

Most importantly, it can’t be a one-and-done—it must be reinforced and combined with the appropriate action.

For Ourselves

I’ve found this an efficient approach to encourage myself to strive in certain areas where I’ve hit unnecessary plateaus or stagnation.

Honestly, I was skeptical—the concept admittedly seemed too simple—but I quickly found that the research didn’t disappoint.

For instance, I love to run in the nature reserve across the street, and I happened to head there one morning after reading about this concept.

I typically run three miles (without any legitimate reason why I stop there), and with this research top of mind, near the end of the third mile, I asked myself:

“Will I run five miles today?”

“Yes,” I thought to myself.

It’s hard to articulate the feeling, but I felt a surge of energy, and it helped, especially when I noticed my thoughts about quitting creeping in.

When that happened, I would repeat the question.

As discussed in a prior newsletter with the “do something” principle , the motivation flywheel naturally turns faster once reinforced with action.

I made it through five miles, and, interestingly, my average mile decreased for those last two miles.

It removed any excuses from the process and created a ‘promise’ that I felt a sense of self-accountability to follow.

Human behavior is a bizarre and incredible thing.

For Others

Through a leadership lens, we’re constantly positioned to influence behavior change regarding learning, growth, and development.

Our job is to create more leaders, encouraging those around us to test their boundaries of what they believe they’re capable of.

When doing this for others, that gentle nudge has been repeatedly proven to lead to reliable, meaningful change and encourage people to work toward becoming their best version.

Sometimes, we must offer a guiding hand to help others move from self-doubt to self-belief; this is one mechanism we can use.

The beauty of doing this for someone else is that they’re choosing to take action; we’re just helping them reach a point where they must decide which direction to take, supporting them through that moment of cognitive dissonance.

I’ve leveraged this concept several times in a leadership and parenting setting.

For instance, I had an individual struggling to provide direct feedback to someone with differing belief systems; their frames of reference needed to be aligned on an area where they had shared responsibility.

Instead, the dialogue came to me from different directions, which I knew I had to address from a team relationship and communication standpoint.

Beyond other coaching conversations, I asked a simple question at the end:

“Will you commit to having these direct conversations with 'so-and-so' before bringing it to me?”

The behavior change I noticed after that was tangible—I didn’t have to ask the question again.

I also tried this with my son, who loves to leave his things all over the house for my wife and me to gather.

I asked: “Will you remember to put your stuff on the stairs so it’s easier to take it to your room?”

It's not about a perfect solution but taking steps in the right direction.

Of course, with kids, I had to reinforce this a few times, but over a week, the sides of our stairs began filling up with items needing to go to their rooms (amazingly, my daughter overheard and followed suit).

Now we need to work on those things getting to their rooms…

If we want to create meaningful behavior change, our best chance is to do so through a lens of support, guidance, and encouragement for ourselves and others.

Instead of making statements, consider how you might ask simple yes-or-no questions instead.

Create the opportunity for accountability by opening the door for a straightforward decision.

Humans are more likely to answer ‘yes’ if it brings us closer to who we want to be, especially concerning our values and principles.

Once we answer ‘yes,’ the research shows that commitment is more likely to stick such that the intended process or outcome can come to fruition.

Try it out, and let me know if you have any surprising experiences!

Ask questions of your actions, and your actions will answer.

-Stephen Bartlett, The Diary of a CEO