The Queen

Some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them. Know someone long enough and you can witness all three. The first No Longer Virtual conference exceeded all expectations. I saw it as an excuse to revisit Atlanta, stay in a Ritz-Carlton and meet some of the writers whose articles and comments I enjoyed.

That was good. Sarah tapped into something- it's like the theme song to The Beverly Hillbillies. She was shooting at some food and out of the ground came bubbling crude.

What are the chances of that actually happening? Wouldn't you have to drill for oil? I was excited for the second conference. Many guests were returning. Not all of them did. I paid tribute to everyone at the first NLV and that never happened again.

Many other iterations were larger and not everyone at later conferences was worthy of praise. The fourth one could have inspired that. I never saw a picture of the group. I would not want to list everyone and mention "It's a popular choice" which is what a server says when asked about dish they don't like.

Speaking of a dish I do like; the second conference started at the hotel bar the night before. I arrived too late in Atlanta to think about anything except trying to sleep after working two jobs, flying IAD-ATL and checking in to the wrong Ritz-Carlton.

I didn't mingle much at the bar. The new guests I most enjoyed were Tom Dietzler and Curt Mercadante. Great guys who talked about books. It felt adult hearing about The Devil in the White City which I still haven't read.

The things you learn in bars... the next morning we greeted everyone and I gravitated towards Amy Blaschka who was returning. We continued the magic. She was focusing on ghost writing. I mentioned ghost writing ideas I had.

The idea was good. It has yet to come to pass. The topic moved to baby networking. On my sister's birthday a few months earlier I decided to teach her son the importance of shaking hands.

I did this with his mother at a comparable age. I said "How do you do?" and she mimicked it. Her son was puzzled by the concept. Different era, different priorities. We went out to dinner and as I spoke to my sister and her husband their three month old daughter grabbed my pinkie.

"How do you do?" By the time I mentioned this part of the story a new guest joined our conversation. Sarah is about five foot three. She seems to meet the tallest women imaginable.

It is interesting the first thing ever said in Hannah's presence was about a baby. This was current events rather than describing the grandeur and glory of my sister's relationship. She was so inviting and actively listened- before Heather Younger made that a thing.

Heather had home field advantage in Denver. She was there as she has also attended every conference. Hannah was open and wanted to learn about us as she had something to offer. I had no idea in that moment that she would send me on a journey that has become a five part love story.

Chapter One: The Vagina Monologues

We sat on different sides of the room. Just like in school and in church I was in the back. She was closer to the front and on the right side. We did not have many interactions and her discussions with the group were about the differences between men and women.

My success with women and most men has come from taking them at face value. It's a given that men are taken seriously. Women usually work harder to receive less credit. I did not say anything nor refute her ideas. It did not seem endemic of what she, Amy and I spoke about the previous morning.

We trailed off and during the year I told Sarah about this mild disappointment. I think Hannah was going through a divorce. That will cloud perceptions and her discussions of the differences between men and women were brief. I was bothered by many things at that conference and it was ultimately a minor annoyance.

Later that year she sent emails about sales. Not only did Hannah make this an all year conference- far better than the NFL has tried being on the top of mind twelve months per year opposed to during the season- what she said about sales and cultivating relationships spoke to me.

It would not be right to say she turned me on. This was how I had success in hotel reservations. Describe options, present yourself well and cultivate relationships so others want to do business. Our ideas aligned and she was coming back to the next conference. I looked forward to seeing her and many others.

Chapter Two: Taming The Wild Beast

Bigger is not always better. With the largest group some fell through the cracks. Others I simply did not have the chance to speak with. I sat next to Hannah on the second day which was the smartest move I ever made. My life changed in four sessions.

Famously I have said going for the sessions is like reading Playboy for the articles. There might be something worthwhile. You go there for the female talent.

From my glass house I can say the men are never as interesting as the women at No Longer Virtual. That's one thing the conference has in common with The Jeffersons.

Was she the sensible Louise to my loud and noticeably shorter George? I'm not answering that. I was fascinated by Hannah's ponytail. It was functional and a professional look. I wondered how she looked with her hair down.

She has a different hairstyle now which also looks very good. To blow the mystique: this is what I missed

Men are satisfied by the most mundane things. The first session of the tetralogy had a great connection and a woman who was nice to some. Forced hugging put me off. This happens naturally within this group so it felt like bringing sand to the beach.

In the next session there was an exercise where everyone paired off. At this point I learned there was an odd number of guests. Guess who was number 37? It seemed deceptive that we expected to work with someone and were told to hug each other. It should not be forced. I was none too pleased.

Melissa Hughes who was facilitating this session saw how angry this made me and suggested I take a walk. I marched to my hotel room; contemplating a call to United Airlines to change my flight.

In the same way I would angrily leave my desk in hotel reservations and walk out the door to the top level of the parking garage; I was through it in the middle. Returning to the conference I took my seat and said nothing. There was nothing to add.

The following presentation was about movies. It felt like second graders talking about Frozen. Movies are one of the best items to check out of libraries and my Criterion Collection access was going to clash with a session that had so little interaction it could have been viewed on YouTube.

Interestingly, the next session is available on YouTube. I have watched it as Joe Kwon and Michael Fritzius presented. Joe was known, liked and trusted before this. Michael was new to me and would only get better as years passed.

Through this session I was reminded why I should have been there. A couple statements were made. There was no reason to be the center of attention. Hannah eventually said she was glad I returned. I was away from my seat long enough they knew I wasn't taking a phone call or in a meeting that could only be held at this time.

In the evening I walked with the group to dinner. I wasn't really hungry. Just like you can have as much fun in the queue as in the club in London; I returned to the hotel where Hannah was talking to Melissa and Kimberly. That was the best way to end the evening.

Hannah sat at a different table the next day. It is wise to branch out and meet different people. I felt better in the group picture. Next to her, I look better. I feel better and in turn, I am better. Whatever speed bumps from the previous day fell away and I did not have to be the center of attention.

Chapter Three: Until the End of the World

Did I see Hannah in the bar at the hotel when basketball players were testing positive for coronavirus as the country was about to shut down? She was there as were many others. It might feel like we are the only two people in the world. At the conference she is one of many and someone to gravitate towards. She treats me like an equal.

We go as equals or not at all. It beats the ones who acted superior. Bring someone up to your level instead of talking down to their perceived level. Hannah gave basic yet effective advice. Suggestions were made by others and I was repelled.

She looked at me and said "If you don't want to do that, don't. No one is forcing you." This was what I needed to hear and coming to an understanding tamed the wild beast one year earlier.

A foundation was laid. She set it up, I knocked it down. It's not like she was trying to change me. Some people make you want to do better and become a better person. Anyone can do it.

There were less interactions. I did not see Hannah at The Art Institute of Chicago. It's a big place and I listened to Michael Fritzius who returned and Jason Elkin who asked advice about starting a business. There wasn't much I could say beyond common sense tales of saving money.

Hannah presented with Arlene Mendoza the next day. When I see posts from Arlene they are always interesting as she showcases colleagues and creates a friendly environment. While there was a lot of uncertainty in March 2020 it was great seeing Hannah again. She always leaves me begging for more.

Chapter Four: It Started With Oral

It was not easy making it to the hotel on the city bus. Salt Lake City is my least favorite American city. All the more reason to bust out to Park City. Taking all day to arrive; I looked forward to resting. Seeing Sarah by chance in the hallway was nice. She mentioned there were already guests at the bar.

Thusly began the longest and most successful opening to a conference. It's not like I looked forward to seeing some more than others. Hannah arrived with Luke Freeman whom I hadn't met. They work together and attended college at Oral Roberts- lest you thought something else.

Not sure how you can look at a baby and say "Let's name him Oral". Somehow Orel Hersheiser did not have such a strange name. None of which has to do with exchanges at three different tables. As I talked with Hannah and Luke my reaction was "I just witnessed the Magic in the Room."

Only Hannah could inspire me to say something that corny. That is the name of their podcast. I have listened to a couple episodes. Podcasts are not my favorite format. I was on one long ago.

It was on a CB radio. Maybe a trucker or two heard this. Seeing Sarah and Neil talk about Chris Spurvey who couldn't make it, Amy and Heather who arrived late and ran past midnight not to mention my Left Handed Majority: Hannah and Luke work well together.

This planted the seed for the conference to be a place to cultivate long term relationships. It is important for relationships to grow. While it is long term relationships with married women; take it as it comes.

Hannah, Luke and tall Sarah presented and did very well. It was nice being around them and this was a fulfilling event. I learned Hannah is the oldest child in her family. I am the oldest child and there are leadership opportunities to be had even if parents- never mind.

She has a big family and does not romanticize one member as I do. That would come up next time although I mention a certain baby- once in a while. This article was in play so I had to go to the next conference to conclude it.

Between not caring for Utah, despising Clifton Strengths Finder and flights opening to Australia I contemplated changing my reservation to visit Melbourne. Flights were too expensive. When I told Hannah about this possibility she said "I'm glad you came here instead."

We were up late every night. When the conference ended and I repaired to my airport hotel I fell asleep at six. All I missed was cheerleaders and their mothers. Women either too young for me or too old. Fairfield Inn seems to have a lot of sports teams. Some are better than others.

Hannah was neither too young nor too old for me. She's just right. What is this, the temperature of porridge? The experience was fulfilling and I looked forward to next year not to mention comments and exchanges throughout the year.

Chapter Five: The Whole Year Inn

How have I not written an article on Leaving Las Vegas? Maybe next year. It was beautiful and depressing. Not unlike- at least I don't drink. Expectations were high. The Purpose and Performance Group had promotional calls. Not only was Hannah nicely surprised I showed up, the exchanges with this group ended up being better than what happened at the actual conference.

Good rehearsal, weak performance. The room- there was no magic this room- had walls and people stayed with their respective cliques. I was alone as usual. There were only two exchanges with Hannah.

If she spoke to the group, I listened. As did everyone else. In the evening, after leaving Sarah and Melissa, I caught the wave to where most of the group had gone. This was a "Best of" moment.

A lot of the new guests acted like I had done nothing in my life. They acted like I arrived at No Longer Virtual on the short bus. No, I flew in like most guests. There was a lot of superiority and people putting on airs. What is this, Instagram?

Not by the fire on a balcony at the Chicago Athletic Club. It felt like I could still turn the conference around. There was a serious shortage of nice conversations. Most happened in this brief group of exchanges. Not every moment in every conference is great. Not everyone you meet will align with you.

The following morning there was a group picture. I stood next to Hannah. Don't ask me how or why- I look better when I am next to her. She looks the way she always does. I have seen pictures and in her presence I look better than average.

Nice work if you can get it. Two people who had no concept of the rich history and at this point are history pushed up apart because I was completely inconsequential to this group. They did not care about a special relationship. They only cared about themselves.

Kimberly Davis had an early flight. Once she departed everything went straight to Hell. Some were indifferent, others were rude and I felt part of nothing. Recently I compared this conference to cancer.

No one knew I had it. If I received a diagnosis (so far I have not) no one would know and I would keep working like Chadwick Boseman. After the ones who bragged how "Human" they are disregarded me; I left in failure. The Rachel Druckenmiller fantasy of "You Matter" was not my reality at that moment.

Normally I start leaving at a certain time and forty-five minutes later I actually depart. I hugged Amy goodbye and walked out the door a failure. Luke happened to see me and said goodbye. I waved. He disappointed me earlier in the day although we can address that in person next time.

Luke communicates throughout the year so that misstep was not crossing the Rubicon. In any relationship the good has to outweigh the bad. The last thing I shall say about how I felt exiting that room: returning to my hotel room I turned on the television. Star Trek V was on. I felt better watching the worst Star Trek movie ever.

You know life is in a bad place when the movie that William Shatner did not want to make was better than what was experienced. The night was spent shaking. I had been disregarded and disrespected on my vacation. The level of indifference has been documented.

I flew home and wrote about my experience. Who responded? Hannah. She looked for me at the end. I didn't see her behind the wall and believe she wanted to say goodbye. Any problems I had were not her fault. Many disappointed me. She did not. She had a fulfilling experience and my article seemed to knock her out of The Matrix. I turned off my account for a few days.

The last thing I wanted to see was the Instagram fantasy of smiling people who were not nice to me, a charter member. There was a positive article as I covered the conference in two parts. That was essentially ignored. I was chastised for having a bad experience.

So it goes. As I covered the darkest time; take a wild guess who commented. Hannah did everything she could. I am not pursuing a long distance relationship nor catching her Triangular Trade from Montana to Oklahoma to Norway. She stood by me and stood with me.

Comments do make a difference. None of the disappointments saw this and said "I had no idea. I'm sorry." No, they talk about empathy to receive likes and invites on podcasts. It's nothing real and Trent was right about The Myth of Empathy.

At various times Hannah liked my articles. She isn't on LinkedIn often. That's fine. I never fault anyone who is working and not fooling around on social media. There are podcasts and events in different areas. It is nice seeing pictures.

Between the first and second conferences, in Donna Summer terms, my life went from Love To Love You Baby to I Feel Love. Every year I had a standing New Year's Resolution to have a Love Hangover. It happened after the first conference. This is another thing I cannot describe and enjoy reaching that plateau. You know it when you have it.

What is Chapter Six? Ask me next March. You never know how long a story will last. I would have envisioned a five part love story with Sandeep Aujla. She attended the first No Longer Virtual and does well in Canada. She would not return although she is always with me.

On the occasions she posts it is a nice surprise. It's like we beat the algorithm and I got lucky. Luck is the secret to seeing almost any post at this time. I haven't spoken to Hannah in a while. Like almost everyone in the world she does not return her phone calls.

I might try calling once per year. We live in different time zones. How did "Connecting beyond the keyboard" change our lives? I did not really know about her before we met. She presented herself well before the third which made me gravitate towards her.

I never stopped. No, I am not interested in coaching services. I respect her as a friend and would not want to hurt our relationship. See- now you women know what it's like. I have no friends and never believed in "The Friend Zone." That is what entitled men who assume they are getting what they probably don't deserve say.

Instead of coaching I need loving, caring individuals. I found at least one. She isn't the only one. No one occupies space quite like Hannah. Are we going to have a left handed baby?

When a left handed man and left handed woman conceive a child there is a ninety nine percent chance the baby will be a southpaw. There is no offer on the table.

How has this relationship improved my life? If I can take a baby at face value there is no reason not to take a contemporary at face value as well. How is she the Queen? Her more than passing resemblance to Dame Helen Mirren is one connection.

There's also chess. The game is contingent on capturing The King. The King can move one space at a time in any direction. The Queen reserves the right to move in any direction on the chessboard and to any number of squares.

That's a leadership position. Lest you thought I was a pawn or a rook. The queen protects the king in the game. When we got together: Checkmate.