The Queen of New Beginnings

How often do you start new things? I'd say it's pretty often - I start cooking dinner all over again every single day! And on Monday's, that's when the diet starts. But what about the big stuff?

In my lifetime I've started many 'big' new things. I started many new schools (my parents liked to move house a lot!), I've started relationships, a marriage, a divorce. I've started a new career, a new job. I've started again after an abusive relationship, after my parents divorce, after losing people I love. I've started an education (and completed it!) that I knew would take me a decade, even though I was told many times it would be too difficult for me. I've started being a step parent. I've moved to new areas, with new people and started new social groups.

As with all things, the more you do something, the better you get at it - so here's how I Start Again.

Firstly, it doesn't get easier. The process may be simple, but that doesn't make it easy. Moving out of your comfort zone never is easy. It is, however, always worth it. The first step, is to make the decision to change, or start over. Decisions are made in a heartbeat. The procrastination, over thinking, the analysis and confusion may go on for days, weeks or even years before you make the decision - but when you decide, that's it. Just like that.

Decisions I have found tough in the past include leaving the only relationship I'd ever known, 10 years from age just 15, with a man who didn't treat me well. I knew that relationship wasn't good for me, and I thought about leaving for almost 5 years! When it came to it, it took just one event, one moment, to decide - it's time for change.

Another big decision was leaving my job! I worked tirelessly for 9 years growing, developing and building a national internet company. Starting as a Finance Manager, and ending in the most senior finance role. I built teams of people, was instrumental in the structure of the organisation, I was part of the strategic development team - the company I worked for had been my whole life, 7 days a week, for years. At the end, I could feel my values were being tested. Something inside me was telling me it was the right time to go. Again, it took one final event, one moment, to decide - it's time for change.

When you know it's time, just do it. Literally, 5 4 3 2 1 Action. Take that one big step, that sets you free - and keep moving forward.

At first it's baby steps. Like a child making its first steps. You need to adjust to the new environment, dip a toe into the new possibilities. Give yourself a chance to stretch and breath. Shake yourself down, lift your chin, and then, make your move.

I don't believe you need to have a fully developed plan of where you're headed next. It would be great if we all had consistent goals to take us through life, but life doesn't really work like that. I do believe that when you open yourself up to those new opportunities, and really start to look and listen out for them, they start coming your way. Listen to your gut, and your heart. Subconsciously, you know where you're going. Trust in that, like a leap of faith, and keep on moving forward.

Choose your community wisely. At vulnerable moments it's so important to surround yourself with the people who love you and that you trust the most. If you stay near to those that believe in you, and have faith in you, it will help you build your confidence, and feel safe in what could potentially feel like a scary place. Let them be your guides and your light. Have faith in yourself too. It's perfectly okay to feel vulnerable. After all, a hermit crab literally has to lose it's shell to go and find a new home. In the greater scheme of things, it's just a few moments of bravery before you're back on the path you were always meant to lead.

Think back to something you've changed in the past. Something big, that felt scary at the time. A break up, perhaps, or a a job interview. Didn't you find, that after the event, it was never as bad as you were expecting. In fact, most of the time things worked out even better for you? Hold on to that feeling as you make the break.

Life has a funny way of turning out exactly how it's supposed to. Take control, own your destiny, make the change, start again.

Claire Byrne CGMA