Quarter-Life Pivot: Turning Crisis Into Opportunity

Life is hard. It’s full of stress, self-doubt, uncertainty, tragedy and feelings of being directionless. With all that weighs us down, it’s a minor miracle that we don’t have more moments throughout life where we breakdown completely. It surely speaks to the resiliency and strength of humans.

But there is one well-known time in life when many people break under the pressure: the midlife crisis. This involves a perfect storm in which a person starts to feel the reality of impending death, and therefore starts to question their choices in life.

Have I contributed anything meaningful in my life?

Do I have any regrets?

Is there enough time left in my life to do the things I want to do?

Have I lived up to my potential?

Depending on how one answers these questions, some people panic and make radical changes in their life; they buy a fancy car, quit their job, travel around the world, get divorced or just simply dye their hair. Whatever it is people do during a midlife crisis, it is marked by a period of remorse, depression and anxiety. It is an intense look into the mirror in which many folks wish they could turn back time.

One other time in our lives when we have a similar experience in gaining more attention recently: the quarter-life crisis. There are many similarities between a midlife and quarter-life crisis, especially the subjective emotions. But there are two key differences: the quarter-life crisis is anxiety about the future—rather than remorse about the past—and it happens early enough in life to make it possible for a person to pivot, changing the trajectory of their life for the better.

Investing in Your Future Self

Typically, a quarter-life crisis occurs in one’s mid twenties, but certainly folks in their mid to late thirties could also experience it. That’s because the main question that tugs at people during a quarter-life crisis is the same question we were asked when we were in elementary school: what do you want to be when you grow up? At that time, it’s fun to think about it because the possibilities are endless: a doctor, a firefighter, a teacher, a musician, a circus clown. At that time, there were no wrong answers.

However, in a person’s mid twenties, they are likely college graduates who have invested a LOT of time and money into getting very specific about what they want to be when they grow up. But a few years after they graduate, some nagging questions start to creep in:

Is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life?

Will I ever meet the person who is right for me?

All my friends seem to have it figured out. Why haven’t I?

Shouldn’t I have figured out my career by now?

The perfect storm that occurs during a quarter-life crisis is the uncertainty of the future and comparison to peers. Since social media provides a platform for people to curate their content and only put out their best self to the world, it can create a false perception: “All my friends look happy and content with their lives, but I am miserable. There must be something wrong with me.” When in reality, all your friends are most likely also experiencing a quarter-life crisis.

At its core, the quarter-life crisis is all about finding one’s identity. And since the work that we do is an important part of our identity, much of what people worry about is career. Many people may experience a quarter-life crisis because the area of interest they studied in college isn’t interesting anymore (“I thought I wanted to be an accountant but now I find it really boring”). Other folks may get restless because they’re feeling like they are not making a meaningful contribution to the world (do you have a Bullshit Job?) Others wonder if the traditional 9-5 job is right for them (are you an entrepreneur?).

These questions can torment people because many times it’s impossible to know the answer. But here’s the good news about a quarter-life crisis: you’re young enough to be able to experiment and pivot to find your calling in life.

The Perfect Time to Pivot

A pivot, in the startup world, is “a shift in business strategy to test a new approach regarding a startup’s business model or product after receiving direct or indirect feedback” (read more). Many successful companies were originally headed in a completely different direction until they pivoted. Instragram, for example, was a location-based check-in service before they pivoted. And look where that got them. Just like startups, those experiencing a quarter-life crisis are at the point in their lives where it will be a lot easier to make a course correction:

• It’s likely that you don’t have kids yet.
• You’re not deep enough into a career for it to be difficult to change industries completely.
• You have the time and, more importantly, the energy to try new things.

So before we get into what to do if you find yourself in a quarter-life crisis, let’s get clear about a couple things.

1. It is ok that you are going through this. It’s normal.
2. See this time as an opportunity, rather than a crisis.
3. Everything will turn out in the end.

Depression is a common state of mind during any type of crisis, and it usually includes intense feelings of hopelessness. It’s likely that many people feel like they will never figure out who they are and what they want to do in their life. This is a crappy feeling, especially when it is exacerbated by the (false) perception that everyone else around you has it figured out. Fortunately, there are a lot of things you can do to get clear about who you are, what direction you want to take and if a pivot is necessary. This can actually be an exciting time of opportunity for you to launch into the future. Here are 7 ways you can take advantage of this time:

Don’t be afraid to job hop for awhile.

Job hopping is what many young people do early in their careers. If it turns out that you hate your first or even second job out of college, don’t give up hope quite yet. Many times, feeling unsatisfied or disengaged at work isn’t due to the job itself, but rather a bad boss or a toxic work culture. Go ahead and “shop around” for a little while. You chose your college major for a reason, so give it a chance before you start to panic that you chose the wrong area of study. Of course, you don’t want to job hop for too long because it starts to look bad on your resume, but there are actually a lot of benefits to job hopping for a little while.

Get a side hustle.

You’re young and still full of energy. You likely don’t have kids to get home to. Take advantage of this time in your life to get a second job, take an internship or start your own business. This allows you to maintain the stability and benefits that a full-time job offers, while giving you the opportunity to dabble in other things. Maybe you start baking on the weekends, or do photography during wedding season, or shadow your friend who does coding once or twice a week. Right now I have a full-time job and building my coaching business on the side. It’s a perfect place to be in because I can scratch my entrepreneurial itch without having to make a huge risk by going all in.

Define your strengths and core values

If there is ever a time to start listening intently to your gut, it’s during this time. There will be a million voices telling you who you should be, but the most important one is your own voice telling you who you are. If you’re not careful, you might listen to some other voice telling you who you should be, which could lead you down the wrong path. The longer we walk down that path, the harder it is to change course. So spend time getting to know yourself during this time. What are your interests? Your natural talents? Your core values? What energizes you?

I highly recommend the CliftonStrengths assessment (surprise, surprise) because we are at our best when we are able to apply our strengths in our work, and we are more likely to achieve success when we focus more on our strengths than our weaknesses.

For your core values, simply find a comprehensive list of core values, then circle your top ten. Then circle your top five. Then your top three. These are your guiding principles in life, and should be non-negotiables when your looking for a job. If you’re job searching, be sure you articulate your values during job interviews and ensure the organizational culture and practices will honor them.

Seek out and listen to feedback

The reason why some startups succeed and others fail comes down to their willingness to listen to feedback. As I mentioned, Instragram was willing to stay open-minded and listen to feedback so they pivoted. If they had stubbornly shut themselves off to any criticism, they liked would have failed. Successful individuals seek out and listen to feedback from anyone and anywhere. Ask your co-workers, your friends, your family what they see in you; what do they think your strengths are and what do they think you’re destined to do in life?

And it’s not always from people that we receive feedback. Sometimes it just takes self-reflection. If you’re in a job you dislike, why do you dislike it? You could have a bad boss, but is it deeper than that? Do you believe the job is a good match for your strengths? Does the company culture rub up against your values? What are your triggers at work? When you feel really energized or “in the zone” at work, what are you doing at that time?

Consider graduate school

I say this with hesitation because obviously more school means more loans which means the possibility of making the crisis even worse. However, choosing to go to graduate school and write a thesis completely changed the course of my life. Not only did I love every class I took, but it really helped me get clear on what I am passionate about. Grad school is meant to be a time when you can get really specific about your studies so you begin to carve a niche for yourself. This helps you reduce the numbers of options in life and make you more marketable to future employers.

Take a break from social media.

Or at least scroll through it mindfully. As I mentioned above, platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat allow people to curate the contents in their life to make it look like they are happy all the time, only make good choices and have it all figured out. I can tell you with certainly that no one has a life like that. Period. If we’re not careful, however, we may begin to believe that we’re the only one feeling lost and hopeless, and this will make the crisis invariably worse. If getting off social media is not an option, at least keep in mind that everyone else is probably going through the same challenges as you.

Find—or create—a community

One great way to normalize this challenging time and get support is to find others who are also going through a quarter-life crisis. Have dinner parties. Start a meet up. Create a Facebook group. Be courageous enough to be the first in your peer group to admit you’re going through a crisis and I guarantee a ton of other people will say “Oh my gosh, me TOO!” Sometimes all you need is to know that you’re not the only one going through it.

When you’re in the midst of a quarter-life crisis, it is certainly difficult to see the forest through the trees. But ask anyone who went through a quarter-life crisis and they are likely to say things like:

“I wish I wouldn’t have compared myself to others so much.”

“I should’ve listened to my gut and gotten out of that dead-end job.”

“I wish I would’ve started that side business when I had the chance.”

“I’d like to change careers, but it’s too big of a risk now.”

Take advantage of this time now and see it as an opportunity, rather than a crisis. Ask yourself what success looks like to you. Take risks, even if they are small. Get to know—and love—yourself. Find others to lean on. Pivot if you need to.

Your future self will thank you.