Quarter-life Crisis: Two Lessons in Two Years

I (mentally) hit my midlife crisis when I was 12. So when I graduated in 2020, I figured I was on my third crisis and had everything already "sorted out".

Oh boy, was I wrong.?

My 25th birthday was a couple weeks ago and I have never felt more isolated and dismal. Not only was I celebrating my birthday in a different country with people that didn’t know I existed until a few days prior, but I realized... I lost my purpose after graduation. There was no clear "next step" I was working towards anymore. I was living the dream I worked so hard for - but what next?

On the outside, everyone envied the life I had:

• An amazing job
• Ability to travel to different states/countries (25 countries and counting!)
• Gone on many amazing adventures and made everlasting connections with others

But yet I was still alone, lost and dejected. I had so much potential that I felt like I was wasting. So I did what I do??

Hopped on plane, got a haircut and did a photoshoot in Scotland! (Kidding)

I went on a journey of self-reflection to find that lost bright and starry-eyed girl with a fiery passion that would put even Apollo to shame.

Now, there’s a lot of videos, articles and podcasts out there that talk about how to navigate your career, become successful or even build a solid network.?This isn't one of those.

You already know what to do in your career and (I assume) at a level of emotional intelligence you don’t need people to tell you how to act at work. What I am here to do is give insight on what people usually don’t hear. How a Zellinial (me) got through her quarter life crises to elevate her life to the next level.

Instead of focusing on passion, focus on direction.

It doesn’t matter where you start. It matters what you do after.

Ever heard “Happiness is not a destination but a journey” ? Now apply it to what you’re passionate about.

First and foremost, find something that pays the bills (you need money to live). Passion alone can not feed an empty belly.

If you found a job that you know you are passionate about this early on in life, you're one of the very lucky few. The rest of us? We have to dig a bit deeper.

But if you’re anything like me, you get excited when presented the opportunity to learn anything new. That also means it’s harder to find what you actually like to do.

A Jack-of-All trades is a master of none, but still better than the master of one.

Don’t get me wrong, being a specialist is great. The issue we face is directing that energy, the passion and excitement of learning, to take a leap forward the right direction instead of many little things at once. Sometimes you'll be faced with many choices and don't know which to take. Choose one that makes the most sense and if you don't like it, step back and choose another. You have not wasted time, you've just found another path that didn't work.

Many times we know what we need to do, our emotions are what hold us back.

Don't wait to find your passion; take action so you can find your passion. If spend your time waiting around, how are you going to start narrowing your choices down?

You can have your cake and eat it too. IF you manage it well.

We live in a society where we value - or even require - working less then 40 hours a week in lieu of spending more time to live our life and mental health. But.. what if I said that you can work more than 40 hours a week while enjoying the finer things in life, like travel?

Now I know I will get some backlash but hear me out.

If you’re anything like me (unwilling to compromise on when you know you can have both) - we operate on a different set of rules.?

We understand taking on extra work, projects and volunteerism can propel yourself further. Now I don't have a family; I have a lot of hobbies - ranging from scuba diving, rock climbing to learning new musical instruments (the latest one is the Guzhen) that bring me happiness. But since there’s only 24 hours in a day - your time management skill becomes crucial. To set a schedule, determine realistically how much extra work you can take on and if they aligned with your career goals. Then add in your priorities; sport sessions, hobbies and most importantly, when you can completely unplug and recharge.

The second most important thing when implementing this ideal is finding out what you value and creating a priority list.

Third, which on the list are you able to do simultaneously??

When I worked in Europe I still choose to work in US time. Because when I wasn't in the office in the mornings, I was visiting museums, going on walks and sightseeing just in time to start work at four. Though I ended pretty late around midnight, I still got my work done, stayed efficient and still had time to help others with their side projects!

Bonus: Learn how to talk to everyone about everything.?

Just like in sales, people surround themselves with others they know, like and trust. We prefer to associate ourselves with others that make us feel comfortable and accepted. So what better way to build that familiarity than bonding over interests and passions? It helps to know a little about different subjects, places and history. But nothing beats being constantly curious about the world and people around you. It makes you easily approachable and relatable. People love talking about what makes them happy and when you genuinely become interested in what they have to say and who they are, they want to keep you around. Maybe they have a passion you have yet to discover for yourself!

You can always make more money, but you can never make more time.

I know as I age, these thoughts may change. But one thing I know for certain: as society progresses, we must shift the way we approach defining "building a career". Advice of work/life balance from the 90's does not apply to the 21st century. And though it has been very useful growing up, I needed to find what worked for me.

I may not have everything figured out, but I'm not going to waste anymore time determining if I'm doing it right either. I found my passion for learning. The direction I choose to go is forward. Let's not waste the life you were given.

Until next time.

Your friend,

Angela Lin