Quantifying Christmas

Maybe we should start with the chimney. If you do not have the traditional entrance required by Santa Clause you might end up with empty stockings on Christmas morning. Depending on the type of materials and the contractor you use constructing a chimney can cost you anything between P15 000 and P19?500.

Herewith the quantities and rates from different contractors to construct a 5m high chimney suitable to provide access to a grey bearded, overweight, aged man dressed in clothes to withstand weather in the North Pole. Alterations to existing structures are not included in the costs below.

Please do not use a flue in this chimney. It will then not be suitable for its purpose (see paragraph 2). Also make sure the cowl can be easily removed.

Risks associated with this project:

• Santa Claus might get stuck. Many children will be very upset with you if he is unable to deliver their gifts as a result. Mitigation: Involve a structural engineer and architect to make sure the chimney will achieve practical completion (suitable for its intended purpose). See paragraph 2 above if unclear.
• If you reside in Kasane, Maun or other areas where wildlife roam freely, baboons, monkeys, leopards, and other animals could gain access to your residence via the chimney. Mitigation: Befriend the local vet or a professional hunter and follow their advice.
• Santa’s warehouses might get raided by disgruntled people. While you reside in Botswana this is unlikely to happen. Have a Plan B if you order imported gifts from South Africa.
• Santa or his elves could be diagnosed with COVID-19. Mitigation: Send them loads of Ivermectin in advance. Efficacy for treating the Omnicron variant this way is however unknown.

We wish you a very Merry Christmas. May 2022 be your best year ever.

Call us. Let’s build something.

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?MLC Quantity Surveyors – Defining cost management??