“The quality of questions you ask yourself determines the quality of your life”. DJ Jackson

How many of you have experienced a well meaning family member or friend who tells you that you’re lowering yourself, that you’re weak and being taken advantage of? Or that you are someone’s doormat or I wouldn’t put up with that, why are you? And the list goes on.

Like me I’m sure you have escaped these comments from those you share your situations with and maybe even regret confiding in them.  As an NLP Practitioner and having undergone my own transformation through the learning process I can see clearly how old patterns of thinking are set in stone (or are they?) and how these people have a misconception and look at your new way of thinking as being weak and dare I say “stupid”.

These well meaning people in our lives are placing their experiences and projections onto others without realising that perhaps you may think and look at YOUR life and situations completely different to the way they do and that it’s ok to do so.

I have been thrown into a situation that is not ideal, it is far from a happy place and it’s touching all my wounds of betrayal, hurt and trust. Perhaps as you read this you might be nodding in agreeance that you have felt the same emotions in a situation from the past or presently going through something at this moment that touches your particular wounds.

As I explain to my well meaning friend that whilst I am aware of the situation and all the elements that make the intricacies of this situation I find myself in, I am very much in control of myself and what I am doing. This of course makes my well meaning friend very frustrated with me to the point they will walk away because I am not doing what they would do if they were in the same situation. You might say this friend is prepared to not be friends with me, until I do what they think is best for me.

As I explain to my well meaning friend, if I were to use my old ways of thinking I would behaving as they are suggesting, “have some self respect girl and walk away”.

If I do this I would repeat my mistakes, I would be stuck in old ways and my Soul would be contracting. It is my belief these patterns will repeat, repeat and repeat throughout my life. I am determined to let go of my old ways that are not resourceful and no longer serve me.  I express gratitude by saying thank you for what you have taught me, thank you for showing me what I needed at the time, however it’s time I let go. It’s time for my Soul to expand and to rethink and behave in more resourceful ways that will enhance my life and of course receive what I know I deserve. This is an internal belief that for many people in our lives will not see and may never see while they keep looking at life through the same lens.

I’m not writing this to preach NLP or Time Line Therapy, I am here to share my own thoughts that your life is only as good as the questions you ask, the decisions you make and the actions you take!

It is very easy to do what I have always done, however I find myself asking what have I learned? What growth have I experienced? Can I find a better way? Would I miss something if I look through the same lens and what if I see this as an opportunity to learn to control my emotions instead of letting my emotions control me? What is it that I want from this? What is the best outcome for all concerned?

I see empowerment by asking these questions and changing my inner dialogue. My well meaning friend sees me as disempowered and utterly insane. This is not to say I will not walk away however there is a difference between walking away and running away and from whom.

I am not settling for less, on the contrary I am forming a richer, more content and abundant life for myself with greater clarity and purpose. I now have developed a “winner’s attitude” by creating self confidence, self respect and self love. This shows up differently for my well meaning friend and that’s ok.

I believe in staying loyal to your beliefs, speak and live through your own truth with conviction and Master your life. If you are going to do what you have always done and think the way you have always thought, you will always limit yourself, holding yourself back from finding your Genius and living your best life possible.

Master NLP Trainer DJ Jackson said to us recently “The quality of questions you ask yourself determines the quality of your life”.

What questions are you asking yourself?

Stay true

Lai