Quality Leadership

While reading Stephen R. Covey’s book “Principle-Centered Leadership,” I came across a paragraph that put me back on my heels; he said, “The most important commitment to a family or a business is never to bad-mouth [anyone].” In this day and age of text messages, TikTok, Facebook, and Twitter, it is far too easy to “bad-mouth” individuals from anywhere in the world with little repercussion.

I recall while growing up, my mother would say to me, “If you can’t say something nice about someone, say nothing at all.”?There were many times, in many meetings, when I had to keep my mouth shut even though I wanted to say something. I did not, and I know I am better for it. My integrity, my character, and my genuine attitude toward my fellowman are better because of it.

Sure, it would have been easy to cut someone down, demean, belittle, and cause them heartache, but to what end? Would that make me wealthy, wise, or happy? In this instant gratification world, we are taught by the media that speaking ill of someone publicly is acceptable. I see things differently. I am in for the long haul, I am in it for the goal and the greater reward.

This brings me back to my opening thought about never bad-mouthing anyone and the discipline it takes to manage oneself.

We should not rely on others to lead the way and set the example but BE the example, regardless of the actions others may choose -- the rewards are worth the wait.

Focus on strengthening existing relationships. Do not miss an opportunity to make a new relationship. Never burn your bridges. One never knows when that bridge may need to be crossed.

Recently, I attended my brother’s funeral, a sad occasion. He was loved and will be missed. He died too young. Many times, as families grow into late adulthood, life experiences and events separate them. Many have trouble coming together in love and harmony.

As Covey says, during death, there are many strained relations, family members say nasty things about each other. Old grievances rise to the surface. Think how much pain, suffering, and anguish could be spared if we all remember two basic principles:?

1) People and relationships are more important than things.

2) When differences arise, we should approach the person directly. How we treat others is our responsibility.

If we communicate candidly and with kindness, keeping the discussion open in all our relationships, those relationships will strengthen and grow. Sometimes it is hard to do, but sharing hard things also strengthens relationships.

Having the self-discipline to refrain from bad-mouthing people is of paramount importance to a good leader.

Leaders are not born; they are created by holding themselves to a higher standard.

What has been your experience? What other principles of a great leader do you hold paramount at your organization?

#stephencovey #leadership #momknowsbest