Quality Conversation...With Yourself

In society, we put an immense amount of effort into adapting and developing our skills, and our relationships with others. Something we don’t put nearly enough energy into is in building a strong, healthy relationship with ourselves.

If I were to pose this question to you - when you last had a challenge or issue where you felt the need for external advice, did you choose to speak to someone that would support you - or neglect you, whom would listen to you and not judge - or cast judgement, someone whom would be honest but kind - or make assumptions and be harsh?

The truth is generally, unless we feel low levels of self-worth, which is also too common in our western society, we will choose someone who can guide and support us, listen intently and have our best intrests at heart. I feel we can all agree that at certain times in our lives these people are invaluable, but there is still someone at least equally as valuable, and that person is you.

We spend more time with ourselves than any other. We communicate and have conversations with ourselves every minute we’re on this planet, whilst in wake or sleep. And yet we often speak to ourselves harsher than we would our worst enemy. There are a whole host of reasons as to why we let this unhelpful part loose on our lives, and it definitely doesn’t support our potential nor who/what we want to be.

Ever loved someone so much that you would do anything for them? Well how about making that someone yourself? Shawn Achor - Harvard Psychologist

Think of a challenge that you’ve experienced most recently, or perhaps one that is still with you now and follow these simple yet very effective steps:

Step one

1. Find a quiet space where you won’t be interrupted for up to 20 mins.
2. Establish two separate places within that space where you can sit or stand comfortably.
3. Stand or sit in your chosen first position and take a few breaths. Follow this with making a clear statement as to what your challenge is and how you feel about it with immense honesty.
4. Take a few more deep breaths.
5. Step into a separate place within the space you’ve chosen and think of nature.

Step two

1. Stand or sit in your chosen second position and take a few deep breaths.
2. Notice your earlier self sat/stood in your first position as if you were still there. Although they are you, see this individual as someone separate to yourself, as if they're your best friend or loved one. Notice their posture, physiology, their energy.
3. Send your former self in position one, love, compassion, understanding and your best listening skills.
4. Take the statement that your former self had made earlier and offer support and see if there is any further effective advice you can offer whilst in this objective position. It may be all you can offer at this time is compassion, love and support, so be sure to give it.
5. leave your second position and enter back into your first taking everything that you received from yourself in position two. You may notice that your posture has completely changed and hopefully you feel lighter. Perhaps you have experienced a light bulb moment!

There is a part inside each one of us that has more insight into what’s right for us, whom only wants us to succeed and ultimately be happy. We just have to communicate more effectively with this part of ourselves. This doesn’t mean that we will know what to do with every challenge that comes our way, but by being more thoughtful towards ourselves rather than the only focus being the outcome, this offers us the opportunity for our intelligent minds and our hearts to work together with much more clarity and less judgement. By practicing the above exercise, we can find more of a guide and perhaps answers, and it will definitely help us to make better decisions.

Very few decisions we make are ultimately conclusive. Nothing that happens within our thoughts or lives is an island, as each second of our existence leads into the next, with the influence of the last. As we spend more of these seconds, which lead into minutes hours and days, being not only kinder to ourselves but drawing on our own experiences, ultimately giving gratitude and consciously utilising our very own wisdom, we will start to recognise that each of our seconds are filled with more focus, stability, clarity and a massive injection of our own identity, of which offers a whole new level of significance. For anyone who's willing to share, I'd love to hear about your experience with the above exercise. you can message me personally or share on LinkedIn.

Much Love,

Jenn

The Art of Living