The Q-Kids: Tick Tock

By John R. Nocero & Andrea L. Bordonaro

JRN: "So, what do you think of?John?" one of my colleagues asked my preceptor on Day 2. "He's very nice" she said, "but he is very determined and he is very focused." Good. That means I am authentically me here. If you want to be one of those people who go, "OMG, you are never gonna believe?John. He is focused. ambitious. Confident. Driven to succeed." and that is the worst you want to say about me.

I am more than fine with that. If you don't curate an environment for focus, then your environment will enable your distraction. My office is bare bones. nothing on the walls. When I work, I want complete silence now. I don't want YouTube or anything playing in the background. When I am in the hotel, it is quiet. I am working my pushup game. Reading. Growing. All self-distractions are now eliminated. I know what I want and growth and success are paramount so anything that interferes with that has to go. Yes, it's hard. Okay, it is very hard. But you can't dangle something I don't want in my face. Now I just walk away from it.?

Andrea, I am curious - with the myriad of distractions that are available to us (wait, a notification just went off on my phone and I have to get it) how do you (is that a TikTok video that was just sent to me?) eliminate (what is that, breaking news?) that and stay focused??

ALB:?This is a struggle that I bet many adults currently struggle with to this day, even more so as we go forward in this technology-based world. Not many are as focused and determined as you to eliminate all distractions all the time. That is very challenging, to say the least. It's difficult for me and I'm a pretty determined and focused individual as well. When I write or need to work on schoolwork, I like to blare my favorite songs. My walls are covered with my happy place - palm trees, beaches, sunshine, my daughters, mermaids, flamingoes, etc. THAT is what gets me most motivated. When I get a few moments to relax in my home alone, I play spa music and sit with my twinkle lights on only (and the fireplace if it's cold).

I prefer to have the lights off and just BE. Sometimes I doze off and other times I just sit and think. Being on my phone helps me "escape" as well, as long as it has a time and place in my day (usually after my girls are in bed and I am alone). For instance, if I am trying to teach my first grade class, I put my cell phone aside and check it when I have a moment (when the students are at lunch/recess, etc) even though those times seem fleeting on most days. I try to stay focused on what I am doing and not pay attention to my notifications on my phone. It's hard because I am aware that there are several important people who rely on me for various reasons.

I try my best to live in the moment when I am with my daughters, for instance, and I try to set a good example for them to be present with those we love instead of being so distracted by electronics. I went to a winery with friends a few Saturdays ago and it was the most gorgeous fall afternoon so we sat outside. The scenery was beautiful, we had the perfect slight breeze, the sun was shining and the scenery at the vineyard was breaktaking. I noticed a couple sitting near us and they never looked up from their phones the entire time they were there, even all through?appetizers, wine, desserts, etc. They seemed like a fun couple based on the way they looked otherwise, but clearly were more interested in whatever they were looking at on their phones than on each other or the pretty fall day they were blessed enough to be together during. It saddens me to think that there are so many people who miss out on special, rare, everyday moments because they are too tied to what is distracting them on their phones. We don't ever get back these "missed" moments.

Time is going by so quickly and if we aren't present in every sense of the word for these living moments, they will pass us by and we won't ever get them back. Focus on what means the most to us at the moment - whether it be our family, loved ones, friends, a job, to-do list, relaxation time, etc.? It's a challenge to ignore distractions, notifications, and messages, but it's truly essential for a happy, fulfilled life...if you ask me :) :)