The Q-Kids: Get Noticed

By John R. Nocero and Andrea L. Bordonaro

JRN: If my LinkedIn feed is to be believed, everyone has just gotten out of dating a narcissistand everyone is the hardest worker in the room. That may be an exaggeration, but you get thepoint. People are playing follow the leader in an attempt to gain traction in the marketplace. Iunderstand why they do it, but have they thought about how it looks?

The same goes for jobseekers. Putting the Open to Work banner on your LinkedIn profile makes sense for many, butputting a post out about how you are going to lose your house, can’t feed your dog and you aredown to your last dollar unless you get a job today? That may be an exaggeration, but you get the point.

The point is that both sides are exhibiting desperation in an attempt to be noticed instead of justbeing who they are and accepting themselves for it. And that is the thing – you want to work atan organization that is the right fit for you and them; you want the right people in your life that isa right fit for both you and them, you want to always think win-win. But yet, people don’t and wewonder why things don’t work.

I was on a recent podcast with Dan Sfera and we were talking networking. I said somethingalong the lines of network or not work, a lesson that I learned back in 2009 from Lisa Rangel. I think networking is pretending everyone is worth being friends with. They aren’t. This is why Idon’t like it so I don’t always do it. If you work hard enough, the network forms around you. Ihave always wanted to work so hard that I never needed to introduce myself. Unless I can beknown as Becky. Then I want to be Becky. If you need to hand out a business card, you aren’ttruly successful. People don’t know who you are. J-Lo doesn’t need to hand out a businesscard. She’s J-Lo. If she wants to work with you, it means she is open to a collaboration becauseyou add value to people’s lives.

Andrea, I am curious to your thoughts on the following: the best talkers and best looking peopleget promoted many times, not necessarily the best or hardest workers, which is why the firstparagraph is so relevant. If you are neither, invent option C – don’t wait to get promoted, promote yourself. But how do you do it authentically so people don’t feel that they need to take a shower after talking to you and you are doing it with a win-win mindset?

ALB: I do think it's important for us to promote ourselves, as no one else will do it for us. We should push ourselves to be the best version of who we'd like to be so that others see us and want to gravitate toward us. It needs to be done in an authentic manner or else most people, at least the genuine and humble ones, will see through it. Those who bullshit their way through life and exaggerate who they are and what they stand for eventually get figured out in one way or another. Just BE. I just try to live my life on a daily basis like "I am who I am, treat others with respect and a level of niceness, and if they reciprocate, great, but if not, no skin off of my back, their loss."

This mindset has taken years and lots of experience to embrace, honestly, because let's face it, we all want to "fit in" and "find our people and place in life" and that is sometimes hard to do once we become adults. The way that society is today, unfortunately, is that the prettiest, hottest and most attractive faces and bodies get the most and quickest attention...even over people who may be necessarily smarter, more hardworking, more dedicated, more compassionate, etc.

Have you ever thought that someone was just okay based on their appearance and then the more you have gotten to know them, grew to like them a LOT? Too bad life isn't that way. Not all of us start on an equal playing field and quite honestly, that's not really fair. The best thing to remember is to be true to ourselves, remain genuine, work hard and don't be so greedy and "out for blood" that you lose sight of what's really important in life, whatever that may be for oneself. Self-confidence is key, which is sometimes challenging, because, let's be honest, we ALL have insecurities in some aspects of our life. We just need to learn to overcome and possibly even embrace them to be the best version of ourselves. This is why I take so much value when those close to me refer to me as "the ray of sunshine" or "the breath of fresh air" in their lives - what better compliment could I ask for?