The Q-Kids: Daily Rituals

By John R. Nocero & Andrea Bordonaro

JRN: When I think of rituals, I think of big, inherited cultural ceremonies - going to church at Christmas before you trim the tree or tossing rice at your best friend after she gets married. But we also engage in small, self-made, everyday rituals that help us turn life’s more mundane moments into more meaningful ones.

For me, my daily ritual is discipline. Up at the same time, workout. Same breakfast. Work. Workout again. Walk. Decompress. Sleep. over and over again. Discipline equals freedom. It is not about happiness and pleasure for me. I am not chasing the dopamine. It is about moving forward with discipline and focus. What my daily ritual of discipline does for me is give me direction and helps keep me locked on my purpose and what I want to achieve. But it also helps me cope with uncertainty, savor life and connect to the past.

Even if the day gets tricky, my daily ritual keeps me anxiety free. Someone asked me the other day if I have anxiety. Nope. I can keep it at bay through my daily workout routine. As I finish an SOP or a big presentation, I look back with pride on a job well done. I don't celebrate, I savor, saying this is what is supposed to happen. During my daily 1000 pushups, my thoughts connect back to my 7h grade football two-a-day sessions when I could barely do 20, or to the girl who rejected me when I was 13 because I didn't have, what she called "muscle tone." I now look down at my 19" arms with pride and a subtle smirk; sometimes it's good to hold onto the past as I think "Few people are powerful outside of your own thoughts. Power is the determination within your heart and then it becomes self-expression.?

My question this week - what are your self-made rituals, the fomula how you restore your own harmony?

ALB: I love reading your daily rituals and what they mean to you. It's so interesting that personal rituals mean something different to everyone. For you, rituals bring a sense of purpose, direction, and discipline. For me, lots of my rituals do the same, but also to bring about inner peace, happiness and a feeling of personal success, too.

I do have many daily rituals, some very simple, yet others require more planning and mental effort. Something as simple as laying out my girls' (I have two daughters) vitamins and pre-packing their?lunches for the next morning, along with mine ahead of time, make for an easier morning, a time of day when?the three of us girls struggle the most to get moving.

I also like to put fresh DoTerra oils into my classroom diffuser when?I arrive at school depending?on my mood or needs - peppermint, Cheer, Spearmint, lavender, lemon, etc to set the tone for the rest of my day. I also shower first thing in the morning and lastly before I crawl into bed at night for two different reasons. It's where I perhaps do my best reflecting on the day when I shower at night because I don't feel right getting into bed with the days' germs on me - ha ha. In the morning, I shower more to wake and get myself motivated to get moving to start my work day.

I also listen to "my soundtrack" on Amazon music while doing both, which helps me decompress, which adds to my inner peace. Both of these rituals take place while both of my girls are asleep, which is very soothing for me as well. Oftentimes I like to end my day with a bubble bath before my nightly shower, but lately I am pressed for time, so I just take a shower. One way I calm my brain is to play Words with Friends on my phone on a daily basis. Sometimes I escape and make my moves in my 40+ games that I always have happening at any time. It gives me a sense of accomplishment to "get caught up" and see my scores soar - ha ha! I can relate to keeping with a "routine" each weekday, per say, because it helps me stay on track, especially with eating clean (for the most part), but sometimes, especially because of having kids and dealing with kids all day long at work, it's not always possible.

I am working hard to learn to "give myself grace" when things don't go as planned or when I don't "get everything done that I planned for" either. I tend to be a perfectionist about certain things but it drives me crazy at the same time, so I try to focus on just balancing it all out each day. Nonetheless, I do need "me time" at the end of every day where I either talk to someone near and dear to me, listen to my favorite music, watch a funny show, take a bubble bath, lie back and "scroll" on social media, snuggle with my dog, etc in order to restore my harmony.

I cannot go to bed, even if I am extremely tired (which I usually am) or else I feel like I am on a hamster wheel every day without a genuine "break," which doesn't have a positive impact on my mental health, which I have realized so much in very recent years how important it is for me to be the best version of myself. The whole "I cannot pour from an empty cup" thought because I do have several people leaning on me for various reasons. Time with loved ones and by myself is essential in order to restore my sanity and make me feel like I am best in touch with myself.