#PV - Work Hard, Friend Hard

By John R. Nocero & Sandy Abell

John: Sandy, I read a quote from Dale Carnegie, which interested me: . “Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.”

I know that you will have people at all times who do not like what you do, who you are, etc. and I also realize that you need those people in your life. If you didn’t have anyone like that, to me, you really are not doing much of anything. There has to be a balance.

But the second part of this is interesting to me as well. I am not a big believer in bringing all my friends where I work. I believe that it makes more sense to create great relationships with colleagues that you don’t know instead of clinging to the familiar of your friends.

Many times, I am not ready for those relationships to drastically change, and they will. Case in point – have you ever brought a friend to where you work after you have already done something successful and they have remained stagnant? Yep, the relationship changes. You have to be able to be willing to accept it, because it happens. I don’t think many people are, which causes them pain.

Sandy, what are your thoughts on this and do you keep your friends out of your business life?

Sandy: I’ve noticed that you often talk about your friends at work John. It’s great you have them, but as you’ve found, sometimes these relationships shift when things at work change. If you get a promotion and they don’t, or if something goes wrong on a project you’re doing together, the relationship can be impacted.

My philosophy is different from yours. I enjoy the people I work with, and even have fun getting together on the weekends once in a while. However, my real, true friends have nothing to do with my work. They are the people with whom I have common interests, hobbies or experiences. We play cards together, or travel together, or enjoy the same activities like camping and being in the outdoors.

My friendships are based on a lot of things, but the real, deep ones are almost never based on my business life. Somehow this just seems easier for me.

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