#PV - The Traffic Test

By John R. Nocero & Sandy Abell

John: Sandy – I hope you enjoy spending time with most of your friends—that’s why they’re your friends. But some go beyond, where those people pass the Traffic Test. I first heard about The Traffic Test from Tim Urban’s blog on Wait but Why. According to Urban, the Traffic Test is passed when you are finishing up a hangout with someone and one of us is driving the other back home or back to their car, and I find myself rooting for traffic. That’s how much I’m enjoying the time with them.

A Traffic Test-passing friendship entails:

·        A great sense of humor. No one wants to spend 50 years fake laughing.

 ·        Fun. And the ability to extract fun out of unfun situations—airport delays, long drives, errands. Not surprisingly, studies suggest that the amount of fun a couple has is a strong predictor for their future.

 ·        A respect for each other’s brains and way of thinking. A life partner doubles as a career/life therapist, and if you don’t respect the way someone thinks, you’re not going to want to tell them your thoughts on work each day, or on anything else interesting that pops into your head, because you won’t really care that much what they have to say about it.

 ·        A decent number of common interests, activities, and people-preferences. Otherwise, a lot of what makes you ‘you’ will inevitably become a much smaller part of your life, and you and your life partner will struggle to find enjoyable ways to spend a free Saturday together. 

Passing the Traffic Test says a lot. It means you are lost in the interaction, invigorated by it, and that I’m the complete opposite of bored.

When I first read it, I immediately thought of one person. Guess what? They don’t know about it yet, but they will this week. I will tell them. 

Sandy, do you have any friends that pass the Traffic Test and what does that mean to you about your friendship?

Sandy: What a fun concept John! I love this! Yes, I do have a few friends who this defines perfectly. I’m so fortunate that my husband is one of them, so one of the best things we do together is just knock around and do spur-of-the-moment stuff.

Having a friend like this is such a gift, and sadly, many people haven’t yet found the right people who will pass the Traffic Test. Of course, it’s important for each of us to be the right person, as well as find the right person.

We each have to pay attention to our attitude, so it is positive and fun and always finds the good. We also have to be respectful by being a good and compassionate listener, as well as being willing to talk and share our thoughts.

I think a lot of it is about balance, respect and fun. If you have these things you will probably have at least a couple of good friends who pass the Traffic Test.