#PV - Power & Control

By John R. Nocero & Sandy Abell

John: I finally had that freak-out moment last week Sandy. Kel woke me up on Friday to let me know that the power was out. It was about 4am.

I checked the alerts and saw it was supposed to come on at 945am. Cool, I will wait it out, I thought. 10am? Still no power. Then I got an alert that said it was not coming back on until 5pm. I freaked. I didn’t want to miss work so I found a way to work that day. When I came home around 415pm. No power – still. It was hot. I worried about my dogs. I had limited light. I tried to read to calm down. Couldn’t. I tried to exercise. I did, but then I realized I could not exercise it out. I read a couple chapters. Still no luck.

Finally, I said, okay, I am gonna sit and ride this out. At 630pm, finally my power comes back on. I was thankful.

Here was the thing – I realize again, it was one of those things where I could not control it, knew I could not control it, knew it would eventually come back, but still freaked out! Filled my mind with a narrative that I knew not to be true. I am not going to beat myself up over it, but it is still funny to me. Looking back, it is okay. I admit I am human.

Sandy, sometimes no matter what we will still have those moments and I am thinking the key is to not beat yourself up over them. Have them, embrace the gratitude and then move on. Thoughts?

Sandy: Hey John. We’ve spoken before about our need to feel in control of our life. When we have control, we feel safe, and when we don’t, we feel unsettled and vulnerable. We like knowing that when we flip the switch, the lights turn on, and when we click the button the TV goes on.

When something happens to disrupt our feeling of control, we suddenly feel insecure and not sure what to do. Our routine has been blown apart and the illusion of control is gone.

The way to deal with the unexpected is to do exactly what you did. Take a deep breath, assess the situation, and decide what you DO have control over. Decided what is most important and let the rest go. Change the doom and gloom narrative to one of calm and rational thought. Then take action in a way that fits the situation, without bringing the emotional drama with you.