#PV - Let It Go

By John R. Nocero & Sandy Abell

John: Time heals all wounds or at least the majority of them. This week, I had a former friend reach out to Kel over Facebook, saying something like, "Hey, I have not talked to John in a long time. Will you please have him contact me?" Kel told me, and the thing is, he is someone who I talked to in a previous life, but who I have chosen to step away from now.

I have absolutely nothing against him at all. For me, he was a friend who was a bit draining, someone who after I talked to them, I felt totally exhausted. He is a constant texter as well, which I don't do, and he was always talking to me like I was a Twitter feed, peppering our conversation with exclamations like "FACTS!" or "BAM!".

To me, I appreciate the chance to have gotten to know him, but I am choosing to send him love and move on, grateful for the time spent, but not choosing to spend more. Now, I could be angry or choose a negative conversation, but I have chosen to eliminate the negative experiences. It is okay to let people go.

Sandy, thoughts?

Sandy: Interesting topic John. Yes, it is important to understand that looking for or expecting trouble can cause you to be anxious and upset, even before something actually happens. Then, often, the negative thing you expected to happen doesn’t materialize, and you’ve wasted a lot of angst for nothing.

As with your situation. You had an unhappy experience many years ago, and it has defined your relationship with this person ever since. Even though you don’t know if what happened long ago is still an issue with them, you are keeping it alive by what you keep telling yourself.

If at one time your trust was breached, you might continue to be cautious until you learn if this person is now trustworthy. However, it doesn’t do anybody any good to continue being angry and looking for trouble.

You were very wise to realize that what is done is done, and for your own sake, as well as those around you, it’s time to let the old feelings go and move ahead with a positive attitude. You might be surprised at the good you find.

Congratulations on being able to take the high road and move ahead, looking for and expecting the best.