#PV - How Tough Are You?
John R. Nocero PhD, CCRP
Director of Quality and Compliance | All Gas, No Brakes
By John R. Nocero & Sandra Abell.
John: I used to think I was so tough; when we think about toughness, we may think about someone who can bench press a Buick or someone who has emotionally hardened themselves through adversity. I don’t think that necessarily makes you tough though. That is either making your exterior hard to protect your interior, or turning off your emotional center so you do not have to deal with it.
I think what toughness means is when you can show your weaknesses openly and no one dares to attack you. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone, because they already know it and because they respect you or think about repercussions, what have you – no one dares to attack. If that is the definition, then I am definitely tough.
Think about this for a second. The most common response when you tell someone “I don’t know” is not “you’re an idiot.” It is “I don’t know either.” You know Superman’s #1 weakness. It is Kryptonite. But would you come at him with it? In fact, how many come at him with it? Something to think about.
Sandy: Hey John, being tough is an interesting thing. I think there are all kinds of definitions of tough. Of course, there is the physical toughness, where you can actually bench press a Buick, or run 100 miles, or wrestle a bear.
Then, there is the emotional toughness, which is what you are talking about. Yours appears to be about being comfortable enough to show your weaknesses, which is pretty tough.
When we are really tough, I think it means we are strong enough internally, and good enough with who we are, that how others react to us won’t phase us. We can be real, show our weaknesses, and if others aren’t respectful of that, we can walk away and still feel good about who we are.
This is what positive self-esteem is all about. If you have it, your life will be what you want it to be, and you can deal with the hard stuff and still be OK. If you don’t have it, life is much more difficult, often because you look to others to define who you are. Which never works!
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