Puzzle of motivation while running a long run

Running a marathon is always an experience and participating in a run after a gap of 2 years makes a huge difference. I wish to share my experience during my last 10 km run on Sunday 25th November 2018. On 24th November I received a call from Dr. Mahesh Bedekar that my t-shirt and bib can be collected from his Hospital in Thane. I collected my t-shirt and bib which had a number 1073. I immediately added all the numbers to arrive at a magic figure of double one that is 11(Eleven). I remembered the days when we used to play housie where in 11 used to be announced as two little legs. The number 11 gave me the confidence for completing the race. I reached home in the evening and checked for the size of the t-shirt. After wearing the t-shirt I felt it was just made for me. The size was just perfect and projected my personality as a runner. My wife Mrs. Mamta Joshi complimented me for the look. T shirt, my track  pant, my shoes all were helping me gain confidence and I felt like a perfect Runner.

After a light dinner on 24th I was just thinking of the run next morning when I received a phone call from my brother who was boarding a train from Thane station for going to Khandwa junction. He had few queries and I satisfied him after giving him the desired information. I thought of making an attempt to personally visit thane station but did not go as I had to run the next day and  I did not want myself to be awake late night.

I was a little nervous when I was moving towards the bed. I did experience that there was lot of self talk and I was putting a lot of pressure on myself by asking some questions with regards to my ability and completing the run of 10km. Some of the questions which I recall are as follows:

1. Will I be able to complete the run?

2. What will my family think about me if I fail to complete the run?

3. What made me participate in the run?

4. Did I make a very hasty decision?

5. Was I overconfident when I took this decision of running?

 All such questions were bothering me and where not allowing me to go to sleep. I did focus on my breath to move ahead and I don't know when I slept. I remember that I was getting up literally after every 2 hours to ensure that I am ready to run on time. I left the bed at around 4:30 AM in the morning and did some warm up. I took a cold shower and then by 5:30 AM I was ready to leave the house.

I was to report at Upvan lake at 6 AM on 25th November. There was a lot of anxiety and pressure which was putting me little down. After getting into my running kit I felt better and Mamta cheered me up once again to ensure that my energy level is up. She clicked a picture at home before we left. Her appreciation boosted my levels and we started to move towards Upvan lake. We reached the palm tree point just on time. This was the point from where the run was to start at Upvan lake.

At the palm tree point we could see a lot of participants who were charged with very high energy. I met Dr. Mahesh Bedekar who extended a warm welcome to Mamta and me. Meeting Dr Mahesh always brings in a lot of positive energy. Dr Mahesh himself was one of the main organizers of this run. He did ask my wife whether she is participating or no. My wife said no she had just come to drop me. Dr. Mahesh encouraged her to run even if she had not registered. His encouraging words motivated Mamta and she decided to run for 5KM. 

The program started off with clear instructions of the route and facilities which are available on the route for the running participants. A warm up session was organized by Mr. Nagesh Shetty before the run and I could see some very trained participant amongst the large pool of people. The entire environment was charged with positive energy and everybody had a smile on their face. My heart beats were running faster than the normal as we were approaching towards  the start line at around 6:25 AM.

After the warm up all the runners who were running for 10 km run gathered at the starting point. The chief guest of the session flagged off the race sharp at 6:30 AM. My journey began and there was still a lot of pressure. The climate was little humid and that was not a great factor. There was a huge pressure of performing and coming up to your own expectations. This is one point where you create both positive and negative thoughts. Positive thoughts help you move ahead whereas the negative ones suck your energy. A lot of runners were running faster than me and after a kilometer or so I felt that I was the last person in the run. I did not look back to check weather I was the last or second last and continued running.

After about 2 km I picked up a water bottle as I was sweating a lot. After completing 3 km I did not see runners around me and I literary decided to give up.  I started doubting my own capabilities and more negative thoughts were pushing me down. I felt that I won't be in a position to complete the run. But during my 4th km I saw a lot of people losing their steam and I was still moving with the same speed. I could see people sitting for tying up their shoe lays or walking slowly for gathering their energy.

Human mind has a tendency to compare his performance with others. I probably got little energy when I did see some of the runners unable to cope up with the weather condition and getting exhausted. I was still moving with the steady pace. The 5th km was very close to my house and I thought instead of completing the 10 km I should go home and relax. I did observe a young man trying his best to keep moving and I drew inspiration from him. I also motivated him which actually helped me inspire myself. This was learning that when you motivate others you yourself get motivated.

I think we develop a lot of road blocks or so called mental blocks while performing an activity. After completion of 5 km I realized that I still have some more steam and continued on the track. I think I completed 7 km and my brain started giving positive signals that I will be completing another 3 kilometers. I kept wondering who generates signals in our mind. There is always a discussion going on about the difference between mind and brain and I am not very clear whether my mind was generating the signals or was it my brain.

 I came across a gentleman who was constantly running with my speed. He was making positive body postures to cope up with the drained energy levels and I realized that I am also generating some energy during the process. The run continued and I observed a couple running. It was good to see that both of them trying to motivate each other with their success stories and helping one another to continue the journey. I could understand this as I over took them during my run and when I got little slower they overtook me. When somebody overtakes you and if this gives you a positive charge this means that you still want to challenge yourself and put your best. It worked for me and I over took them.

I had asked Mamta to click my photograph near the finishing line. I was still running and I think that I was 300 meters away from the finishing line. I was excited and again heard a group of people cheering me. My speed increased when I started running as if I was running 400 meter race. I had all the energy now, from where the energy  came into my body  I do not know but I did learn that our environment has a lot of impact on our energy levels. If you give positive instruction to your brain there is a likely possibility that it passes on similar instructions to your body and your body starts reacting to the stimulus generated by the brain.

 Mamta was standing approximately 50m before the finish line so that she could capture a small video. She never anticipated that I will be running so fast that she missed even clicking a picture which was decided. I took roughly 71 minutes to complete the run and thanked God. I received the medal of completing 10 kilometers and this again gave me a sense of satisfaction.

In the end I wish to state that everybody has an opportunity to explore his or her abilities and life gives everybody a chance. Please recognize such defining moments as they allow you to test yourself. You get to know a lot about your own self a little more. I wish to thank the organizers and wish to share that this run was organized by the medical doctors in thane with the objective of creating the clean thane drive. I wish to thank Dr. Mahesh who gave me an opportunity to participate.