"Putting Yourself First: The Key to Avoiding Burnout"

“Is there anything you want to share or ask before we complete this conversation?”??

My usual closing statement when I close any meeting.?

“Yes, I want to let you know that a couple of years ago I suffered a burnout. I tried to run the operations in the small accounting company where I was employed. Management wasn’t doing too well, and I was the only one willing and able to try and keep the ship from sinking.??

In the end the business survived, but I was left with a full-blown burnout. And ever since then, I need a little bit more time to do my work. I’m still fast and I know my stuff, but it’s just not the same as before.”?

Hearing that made me so sad.?

Just the day before I spoke to another accountant who recently spent a full month at home because of a burnout. Her words: “I’ve had a couple of job interviews, as I’m looking to switch. And all the recruiters I’m speaking notice it. There is something fragile about me now that won’t ever go away.”?

?Whoaw… It just didn’t stop; it has only gotten worse.?

I started to coach almost four years ago. When burnouts were a hot topic. At one point literally everyone I spoke to about burnout replied with one of the following answers:?

I have had a burnout myself.?

I was very close to having a burnout myself.?

Someone close to me has had a burnout.?

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This was in 2018. Now, everyone has taken the guitar course, considered moving to the countryside, refurbished the garage, taken up cycling, began introspection, started microdosing, gotten spiritual, …?

… aaaaaaand two years later just slid back into their old lives.??

Seriously? What will it take? For people to take notice what’s happening before they go into the red zone???

We put ourselves second and maybe even third or fourth. It’s considered loyal to remain in extremely challenging situation with high workload and crazy hours.?

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Why do we keep doing that??

In one or more ways, we keep wanting to please our parents. Even if they are not around.??

The never-ending feeling of not being good enough. Looking for some form of external approval. Trying to find for love outside of ourselves. We deploy different strategies to achieve that. And guess what, it doesn’t stop.??

What would be different if we put ourselves first? When we serve our needs and not the needs of our parents? What happens if you are loyal to yourself??

What would happen if we started discovering and nurturing self-love? You can start by checking in with yourself daily how high your level of self-love is.?

And in that love, take responsibility for what’s happening.??

Taking responsibility?

When you feel the pressure at work is no longer endurable, take your responsibility. Preferably, do it way before that point is reached. You play the key part in creating the right circumstances for your job. You might think that’s your manager’s job, but it isn’t. It’s you.?

Feeling undervalued? Frustrated about something? Caught yourself complaining about a colleague? Maybe you’re holding back and not giving all you got??

That’s ok if it happens. Notice it what you are doing. And notice that this is not empowering you to create the new work conditions you would like to see.??

Instead, express what it is you want to have different. Shift from being someone who’s a victim to someone who’s a winner.?

You will find it hard to get out of the victim mode. That’s because it’s one of the most comfortable places to be in. If you want things to change, you will need to take action.?

Here's an exercise you can try?

Take a piece of paper and divide it into four columns by flipping it horizontally. In the first column, write down everything that frustrates, angers, disappoints, or annoys you about your work environment and the people you work with. Be as exhaustive as possible and think of even the smallest things that bother you.??

In the second column, write down how you are currently handling each situation. In the third column, write down the pros and cons of your current actions.??

Now comes the part where you take responsibility. In the fourth column, write down what actions you are going to take to address each item on your list.??

For example, if your manager is not responding to your requests for a workload review, write down your current strategy (such as resenting your boss and underperforming), the pros (such as feeling a sense of revenge), and the cons (such as not reaching your full potential and feeling disconnected from your job). In the fourth column, write down a specific action, such as asking (or even demanding) your manager to review your workload.??

Once you have completed your list, choose the actions that you are committed to taking and set a date for when you will take them. When you ask your boss or coworkers questions, try to do so without expecting a particular outcome. You are simply putting the question out there and allowing the other person the freedom to reply.??

If you are not getting the answers or changes you need, you may consider leaving your work situation and looking for an environment that better serves your needs. ?

Remember that you can always love yourself, no matter what.?

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I’m curious to hear how that went for you. Please, share your experience in the comments. I wish you an amazing week.

Enjoy BEING a professional ????!

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