Putting The RESPECT Quotient? Into Practice

This continues my description of The RESPECT Quotient, a communication framework beneficial for conflict resolution. It is ideal for organizational cultures that are conflict-avoidant. In my experience, that's the majority of corporate cultures.

I encourage you to read this series's?first?and?second?articles?before you read/watch this.

Today, I describe this communication process that explains why each sequence step is critical for more meaningful conversations. Applying this communication framework can help bridge divides - across executives (peers), teams, and between managers and direct reports. Watch this short video first:

A tip of the hat to Aretha Franklin...

"All I'm askin' is for a little respect..."

This applies to ALL of us. We all seek to be respected by those we associate with. As toxic cultures increasingly impact the workforce (see this MIT Sloan article), respect is NOT a "soft skill." It's a HARD skill that must be learned and practiced in all business areas with ALL stakeholders - not just customers. RESPECT is a critical leadership competency!

The RESPECT Quotient? Framework In Practice

Here's how to apply the framework. For now, the focus is on a common challenge - two executives who don't see eye-to-eye, impacting their teams and the organization.

Set Up for Success

First, the set-up. We recommend doing this with a certified facilitator from Bobby Bakshi Consulting LLC. Why a consultant? To be an objective third party. Most internal HR professionals can not do this as they have a vested interest and an agenda.

Next, make sure both executives agree to do this. They must "opt-in" and have agency. No coercion, please. They may be skeptical and resistant. That's natural. The key is they recognize there's a relationship to fix/make better and are willing to give this go. Yes, this is an intervention process, AND it's not punitive. It's generative, to help both executives get better results, by focusing on their relationship.

The facilitator will clarify that they should not have any expectations of outcome. It may or may not improve things. The upside possibilities have direct ROI in helping their decision-making, their teams collaborate better, and the organization thrives.

Have both executives agree upon a challenging situation. It's usually a decision they made or impacted one of them. It can be low/lack of productivity on the part of one of their teams (a sign of poor collaboration) or KPIs (Key Performance Indicators) below expectations.

Contact Bobby Bakshi to learn more about the process and questions to guide it.

Recognize: Ask our inquiry questions to understand one executive's perspective. No right or wrong. Explore that person's perspective on the situation. Apply classic coaching questions such as "Anything else?" to ensure the person is fully heard. No cross talk. The listener will be heard too, but after the first speaker completes RES steps.

Empathize: Ask further questions to go deeper into the speaker's perspective. Get curious. Don’t stop with the first response. The key is to stay in listening mode.? Do not fall into the temptation to stop and start solving a problem the speaker may raise.

Spaciousness: Make time to explore different perspectives.? This is not a "hard stop" meeting of 30 or 60 minutes. Think in terms of Greek time. They have two types of time. Chronos: This refers to chronological or sequential time, the kind measured by clocks and calendars. Most of us live in this type of time. Kairos: Unlike Chronos, Kairos represents the qualitative, opportune moments when something special happens. Time is more fluid and focused on the potential for significant moments rather than the steady progression of time. Be in Kairos time.

Once the first speaker feels they have been truly heard and understood, switch. Have the listener now go through the RES steps above, before proceeding.

Once the second speaker is done, they go back to listening mode, and the first speaker is guided through PECT. Once that person is done, switch to the second speaker.

Prioritize: Staying in listener mode, invite the speaker to state the root cause for the disconnect.? They will likely list several.? That’s good.? Listen.? Reflect.? Ask them to prioritize them, and only the speaker will get to state the order of priority.? Watch your perspective, and do not insert your priority order.

Empower: Inspire agency so the speaker has actual ownership.? This ties in with support accountability, which I will detail in a future article.? Do not “caretake” the speaker.? Ask permission if you have suggestions on how you can support.

Commit: Establish regular check-ins to discuss progress on both sides.? Like a contract, check to ensure the speaker is willing to commit or not. Be explicit. Genuine commitment must be self-driven.

Transform: Continually adapt and improve cultural practices at your organization and lead by example.? This can truly transform an organizational culture.? Imagine if two executives everyone knows don’t see “eye-to-eye” and start to collaborate better and show more respect by pausing, creating space for each other, patiently listening, and switching to speaking so both are heard.? Amazing things are possible!

Close with clear next steps, especially scheduling a follow-up session.

Conclusion & Call to Action:

Transform your organization with The RESPECT Quotient?. Our proven framework not only resolves conflicts but also builds a foundation of genuine respect and collaboration across all levels of your organization. Witness the change as leaders and teams engage more productively and meaningfully.

Ready to begin your journey towards a more respectful workplace? Contact us at [email protected] to schedule a free consultation. Ask about our RESPECT Quotient Lite assessment. It provides a clear snapshot of your organization’s culture on respect.

Take Action Now: Don’t miss this opportunity to enhance your leadership and cultivate a thriving workplace environment. Let's make respect a core competency within your organization together.

Our next Bridging Divides episode will describe use cases and specific offerings.