Putting Others in the Frame
Welcome to the fiftieth edition of "In-Touch". As always, I would love to continue the conversation so please let me know in the comments below what you think.
Story of the Week: Putting Others in the Frame
An out-of-the-blue question about parenthood on?Farah Shamma’s?“Hotel Talk†podcast has changed some of my ideas on management and leadership.
“How did becoming a father change you?†Farah asked.
My reflex answer would have been, “It made me a little bit less selfish.†Before having children, I had often heard others say this but never truly understood it. Once I had become a father, and responsible for another person, I not only understood what they had meant but felt it deeply myself. Instinctively knew that I would no longer put my own needs and desires first.
There is an exercise that I conduct in many of my leadership seminars. Before a coffee break, I take a selfie with all the participants behind me in a U-formation. Once the seminar reconvenes, I pass the phone around the room for everyone to take a look. I then ask the participants to raise their hand if, on being given the photograph, they looked at their own face first. Almost always, 95% of them will raise a hand.
Why is this? On the one hand, it’s normal that we want to see how we appear to others but it could be argued that, by focusing more on ourselves, we are restricting our view of the environment, diverting our attention inwards and away from others. Parenthood shows us how to put others in the frame too and I have no problem with admitting that, in my case, the biggest event that turned my attention away from myself was having children. Suddenly, in addition to my wife, Christine, there was another face in my family picture frame (and soon two more would be added!) and I had a responsibility to take care of them all.
In answer to my friend Farah’s question, my actual reply was: “It expanded my view.â€
Expanding your view is as important in the professional arena as it is in your personal life. As a manager and a leader, your employees are an integral part of the frame. No man or woman is an island and success tends to be a team sport. So, take time to notice the value that those around you can contribute. It may be natural to look at yourself first in a group photo but try to resist the urge to focus only on yourself too often.
领英推è
Words of Wisdom
On finding happiness
“Caring about the happiness of others is how we find our own.â€
Plato
A Question to Ponder, dear friend.
“How wide is your 'picture frame' and what can you do to expand it?â€
Would love to know, in the comments, your answer to the above question. ??
Best Regards,
Michael R. Virardi
www.michaelvirardi.com
Managing Director at St Raphael Resort and Marina
2 å¹´Here's the link to the podcast episode and you can find it on all podcast platforms like apple and spotify. https://www.hoteltalkwithfarah.com/1928170/11951660-hotel-talk-with-farah-shammas-michale-r-virardi-michael-r-virardi-is-a-world-renowned-trainer-speaker-and-best-selling-author-on-public-speaking
Holding sacred space for spiritual growth, healing and transformation ?? Kundalini yoga & Meditation teacher | Intuitive Energy Healer | Spiritual Guide
2 å¹´Great post Michael! I'm not a biological mother myself, but I'm a volunteer mother of 35 (ages 10 to 18) since 2019. These last 3 years have changed my perception, perspective and patience to infinity and beyond. Funny you should mention the selfie because, as it's become a social norm nowadays, we also take selfies with 'my' kids. One specific kid wants to be in charge of the one posted. Always wants to have a look if they look their best regardless of how the rest of the team looks. I made sure to always give them my phone to choose the 'best', while also making sure that the rest of the team compassionately agreed to this (and verbally expressed so). A few selfies later in the year, the same kid started asking everyone if they're ok with the one they chose. Compassion is the best leadership skill and children are the best leaders for that! Being lead by these kids is one of the best things that's ever happened to me. I imagine even more so to a conscious parent!
Attorney At Law at CIVIL COURT CASES
2 å¹´Great
Military Representative of the Republic of Cyprus to the EU Military Committee
2 å¹´When I became a father, I remember saying that only parents should command military units, with personnel entrusted to them. It literally changed how I viewed the world, my personnel, and how their welfare coexisted with my mission mandate.
Change Manager at TD
2 å¹´Great article Michael R. Virardi ! This really resonates with me as I reflect on my leadership experiences. I truly believe this thought of putting your people in the frame. To this day, although I am no longer leading people, those connections of people I had in my frame are so strong that I still connect with and mentor those colleagues. They are still a part of my extended family. ?? As Simon Sinek said: "Leadership is not about being in charge. Leadership is about taking care of those in your charge."