Putting on a Happy Face

I am a sucker for feel good and self-improvement material. When I came across an article in American Way by Tracy Staton called “The Pursuit of Happiness;” I had to read it.

The gist of the article was – can we train ourselves so well that we’d start to get happy in anticipation; similar to Pavlov’s dog with food. Is happiness a point of view that can be taught? 

The article goes on to state that positive psychology, a new(ish) branch of psychology that studies healthy minds rather than sick ones, here are examples of what we now know: 

The things that we think will make us happy often doesn’t; Money does not make us happy…having more money than our neighbors might and having less than our neighbors is guaranteed to interfere with our happiness; Beautiful people aren’t happier – they just look better when unhappy; Older folks are happier than the young; Having lots of choices adds to the stress; etc. 

The philosophy of positive psychology is - negative leads to negative and positive leads to positive. Think good thoughts and you’ll be happy, do good and you’ll feel good, smile and the world smiles with you, etc. The kicker is some people think good thoughts naturally while others have to be tricked into it. At least, theoretically, habitual positive thinking equals habitual happiness.

Also, thanks to positive psychology, we now know that big chuck of individual happiness is genetic - it’s bad enough that parents get blamed for most everything…now there is scientific proof that your happiness disposition can partly be blamed on them too. There are flavors of happiness that we can control. In fact, we can take courses. Did you know that the single most popular course at Harvard University was not in law or economics or science but Tal Ben Shahar’s class on positive-psychology (at the time it was taught)?

Just as physical exercise is proven to stave off heart disease and other health ailments, studies have shown, happiness exercise aids with emotional resilience.

According to Staton, here are 4 simple techniques that can potentially increase our happiness quotient:

1. Three a day for better health – This is an exercise for the gratitude muscle. Every night, write down 3 things you are thankful for that day
2. Play to your strengths – Identify your character strengths and apply at least one every day. There are many sites on the internet that will help you identify your strengths. I used the questionnaire from U Penn (www.authentichappiness.org)
3. Get in the flow – Take a challenge that’s barely within your grasp. The act of stretching to do something difficult – but not beyond you will get you into a blissful state where time seems to flow and the world seems to disappear
4. Serve somebody – Volunteer. Helping somebody will make you happier

Jonathan Haidt (Professor of Ethical Leadership at New York University’s Stern School of Business), who studies morality and its effect on happiness says that kids would be much more able to profit from these lessons beginning age 16 or 17. I do not want to wait until my kids are 16 before I teach them at least some of the techniques. I have been trying a different approach with my kids. Every night, before they go to sleep, I ask them 3 questions:

1. What’s one thing that you are thankful for today?
2. What’s one nice thing you did for somebody today?
3. What’s one nice thing you did for yourself today?

According to Staton, based on current research, happiness can be cultivated. Just like working out and eating healthy, these exercises are simple…though they are not simplistic. The human mind is complex – we are not entirely in control of our impulses. Yet with effort and much gratitude, we can be happier.

Putting on a happy face is positively all in the mind!