Put Down Your Burdens and Get on with Life
I recently got some bad news which has tested my beliefs about the future and created undue stress. It overwhelmed my thoughts and behaviors and quite simply did not make me feel good, as bad news often does. I found my self trying to blame others and thought why is this happening to me? Then I was reminded of this analogy and realized these negative thoughts were not serving me well. The story goes like this:
A trainer walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she did so, she raised a glass of water. ?Everyone expected they’d be asked the old “half empty or half full?” question. Instead, she asked, “How heavy is this glass of water?”
The answers ranged from 8 oz to 16 oz.
She replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. What’s important is how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it’s not heavy. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will be numb and feel paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change but, the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes”.
She continued, “The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed—incapable of doing anything”.
It’s important to remember to let go of your stresses. Put your burdens down when you can. Don’t carry them for hours and days and months.
Remember to put down the glass!
- Unknown author
Initially this flood of emotions within me weighed heavy on me; but this glass of water analogy reminded me that this bad news is just a temporary setback and really has no bearing on my identity or about my future unless I let it be. Henry Ford said "When everything seems to be against you, remember that an airplane takes off into the wind, not with it." For my mental well being and continued growth I needed to put down the glass.
For most of us, getting past these setbacks is a challenge and in some cases it can shape their identity, in a bad way. Identity is largely concerned with the question: “Who are you?” What does it mean to be who you are? Identity relates to our basic values that dictate the choices we make (e.g., career, relationships, etc...). These choices reflect who we are and what we value. Too many times people let bad things engulf them and shape their beliefs and perspectives. I was talking a co-worker the other day and we were discussing how we are really living in our own real version of the movie Groundhog Day. Until we make a conscious decision to change our thoughts, those thoughts we are having (good or bad) will guide our actions and become our new beliefs. We often don't recognize how these things can derail us so quickly.
In the past and in this case I have put into practice several techniques that have helped guide me back to my charted path and raised my identity when it dipped. Some of these techniques I have learned are:
1. Become Conscious of Your Thoughts: Start by identifying and becoming aware of your negative thoughts. Write down thoughts that limit you, such as "It's too hard," "I'll start tomorrow," or "This doesn't feel right." Recognize these as barriers to your progress. How do they serve you? They don't.
2. Observe Your Emotions: Emotions are from chemical reactions in your body and they can be good or bad. Close your eyes for about 30 minutes and watch where your mind goes. Identify recurring emotions like frustration, unworthiness, self-doubt, guilt, and shame. Are these the emotions and feelings you want to feel? Becoming aware of these emotions helps you understand your unconscious patterns. Then make a conscious decision to get back to who your really are.
3. Practice Meditation: For the longest time I did not buy into this practice, but I am now thankful for it. Meditation helps you become familiar with your thoughts and emotions. It allows you to disconnect from your environment and focus on your inner world, making it more real than the outer world. I have practiced both box breathing and taking 6 breathes which have helped lower my blood pressure, promote relaxation and improve my bodies ability to handle stress.
4. Reprogram Your Mind: Consistently observe and understand your thoughts to reprogram your mind. This involves firing and wiring new thoughts, leading to new choices, behaviors, and experiences. I have learned to pay attention to my attention and this has been a life changer for helping navigate through life.
5. Raise Your Energy Levels: Consciousness requires energy. Raising your energy levels helps you maintain awareness and avoid slipping back into unconscious patterns. Think back to a time you attended a concert and your favorite song comes on, how do you feel? Even if you don't dance, you had a boost of energy and good feelings. Do something physical to let your body help you through this temporary challenge. Yes, that can be going to a gym, but it could also be something as simple as take a walk or listen to your favorite song.
6. Practice Gratitude: Replace negative emotions with elevated emotions like gratitude. This helps in reprogramming your autonomic nervous system towards a positive destiny. For me thinking about my family, friends and my accomplishments always bring a smile to my face. Gratitude is about feeling thankful for what you have in the present moment. This helps in shifting focus from what is lacking to what is already present, creating a sense of abundance.
By following these techniques, you can effectively overcome negative thought patterns and experience positive changes in your personal development journey. But remember to put down the glass.