Pushy parents: is it still okay to be tough on your kids in 2023?

When I was 9, my Dad made me do something that stuck with me for a long time.

He gave me an invaluable lesson that I still value today.

It's one of the reasons I've been successful in demanding jobs.

A life skill only learned by the pain of experience.

In today's Newsletter, I'm going to share a story from my childhood that helped to shape the person I am today.

And, why it's not always bad to give your child a push now and then.

The School Team

From the age of 6, I was obsessed with football. I loved the game.

I watched it on the TV. I pretended to be my favourite player. I wore all of the kits.

In my back garden, I kicked a ball around. I'd commentate on my actions (what young boy didn't!?)

A few years later, my skills developed. I took part in the school football team trials to show I was good enough to make the squad.

But, they didn't pick me. All of my friends got in. I didn't get the call-up.

I was gutted! My heart was broken.

Back home, I complained. But my Dad wasn’t having it.

And so he sent me back to school to stand up for myself.

A lesson I'll never forget.

Being scared

The team’s first training session was the next day.

My Dad had a plan. He told me to take my kit to school anyway and talk with the teacher.

So here I am, 9 years old and shy. I walk up to a man in his 40s and tell him:

“I think you’ve made a mistake by not picking me, can I play with the team to show you what I can do?”

Result!

He allowed me to play in the training session. And I went on to make the team.

Parenting Win

Looking back I'm very grateful to my Dad for pushing me to do this.

It helped to build my character and show me that you can challenge any situation with the right attitude and intent.

At my daughter's school, I see teachers scared to tell children they finished second.

Sports Days aren't competitive any more. They give off the wrong signal.

This gives children an unrealistic view of the world: winners and losers don't exist.

Resilience is a characteristic born out of hardship. Not getting what you want.

Truly resilient people know how to recover from setbacks.

They only learn this from experience.

The sooner you can encourage a child to do this, the sooner you increase their resilience.

That's what my Dad did for me. And I'll always be grateful for that lesson.

The Lasting Effect

Being taught to stand up for myself enabled me to perform in the cutthroat world of recruitment.

It enabled me to grow.

Resilience has been the foundation for my career change and entrepreneurship.

Without it, I would have stayed in a career that didn't fulfil me.

I'm going to leave you with a few questions to ask yourself:

• Are you being overlooked at work?
• Who could you challenge around you to give you what you want?
• How can you stand up for yourself to get more of the life you deserve?

Enjoy answering the questions.

Happy Saturday

Tom