Push Back or Open Up?

?KeithTrumboBooks.com

??????????? If I had been standing in the crowd when the Roman governor brought Jesus out seeking to set Him free, would I have joined the chorus of voices yelling, "Crucify! Crucify!"? Might I have been silent or spoken out in favor of Jesus' freedom? What a chaotic scene the Bible describes. The esteemed Jewish religious leaders shouted, "Crucify! Crucify!". The leaders people looked up to for guidance on spiritual issues were in a frenzy. How do you think you might have responded?

??????????? The crowd's response reveals how far humans will go to push back against something they believe threatens them. Something that goes against their perception of what is right. The religious leaders believed crucifying Jesus was the right thing to do. The Jewish leaders insisted, "We have a law, and according to that law he must die, because he claimed to be the Son of God" (John 19:7).

??????????? As soon as the Chief Priests and officials saw Jesus, who was beaten, bruised, bloody, and hardly able to stand, with a crown of thorns and wearing a purple robe, they yelled, "Crucify! Crucify!" (John 19:6). They knew they were right, and they pushed back hard. Yet were they right?

??????????? People can feel compelled to push back against things they take personally. Issues about which they have a strong opinion, where they believe they are right, and feel the need to stand their ground, not give an inch, and create conflict if necessary. Unfortunately, those issues can often be minor, yet they become "the straw that broke the camel's back" issue. They've had enough, so they decide to stand their ground and push back hard.

??????????? Therefore, besides becoming aware of how we can push back, including how we can push back against Jesus' leading, we need to take Matthew 24:24 to heart, "For false messiahs and false prophets will appear and perform great signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even the elect." This verse lets us know that we can be deceived. Also check out 2 Timothy 3:1-5, paying close attention to verse 5. "1 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, 4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people." It's interesting to note that in this passage, the people with an appearance of godliness are also described as lovers of money, arrogant, and without self-control.

??????????? People usually like to push back when they feel cornered, needing to defend their perspective. In other words, when they have had enough and think they are right. This can occur in a verbal showdown or with minor cutting remarks that push back as a routine over time in small ways.

??????????? What is the solution to the desire to push back? Ephesians 4:32 says, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you." We can't accomplish Ephesians 4:32 as if it is a formula to follow. This verse is not a formula, but the result of a personal relationship with Jesus in which we open up to Him; then He can help us to open up to other people. He can teach us how to share our thoughts, feelings, disappointments, and frustrations in ways that do not hurt, punish, or push back against others.

??????????? The basic underlying desire that fuels the need to push back is pride, feeling the need to defend our position. Seeking to defend our perspective and becoming convinced our viewpoint is correct and must be followed. It's ironic to understand that our defensive pushing back often creates push back from others in response to our pushing back. So, the cycle of pushing back goes on and on. Relationships that should be formed, aren't. Commitment is reduced, and people get hurt feelings.

Jesus challenges us to ask for His help to express our concerns, cares, frustrations, and challenges to others in a way that does not accuse or attack. Instead, we can open up about our feelings and share our perspective without trying to injure others.

??????????? Jesus loves you and will help you to grow closer to Him as you ask for His help to open up to others instead of pushing back. Be patient with your progress: this will not happen in a week or two. Just consider one conversation at a time, asking for Jesus' help, and allow Him to teach you how to open up and share in ways that maintain and even deepen relationships with others.