Pursuit of Happiness

When I was younger, I was constantly searching for something.

I don’t know then what I was searching for.

I thought I could find it by being the happening kid. I definitely didn’t find it there.

I thought I would find it in my jobs, in luxury goods. I tried those too.

I would travel a lot and it was all awesome but by the 30th trip, the value diminishes. (Quoting Mark Manson’s Subtle Art of not Giving a F*ck).

I remember praying to God so many many many times asking him what is my God-given destiny in this world. I remember being so impatient and I remember being so lost. That was pretty much all of my 20s. 

Boyfriends upon boyfriends, swapping groups of friends, changing careers across industries, busy shopping for latest fashion, all in that pursuit.

The good news is, I have found bits and pieces of it today. The bad news is, it doesn’t come to you all at once like a grand AHA moment, and it doesn’t come definitively. I find that as you know yourself more, you’ll find it in the little little moments and the little little quirks that makes you you. 

For example, I enjoy recycling. I didn’t know I enjoyed it until I started SushiVid — and suddenly being responsible for 8 humans in an office and noticing the amount of trash we produce. 

I no longer buy leather goods — because I saw a documentary. Don’t watch it if you love your Chanel bags. They don’t kill a cow, or crocodile or whatever leather and use the flesh for other parts — especially your luxury bags and I cannot handle the thought of that. Making a point to say no to that really shaped who I am.

I enjoy reading. I studied really hard in school. For SPM, I had 9 tuitions. I always knew I loved studying but I never studied harder and more voluntarily than I have ever studied in the last 3 years. I read a book a week. I’ll probably start a book review series soon.

I don’t enjoy big group hangouts. I use to think I do, and I’d hang in there chain-smoking or drinking because it’s awkward but over the years, as I got more comfortable in my own skin, I just avoid big group hangouts at all cost except for family gatherings, but yes even those are still awkward for me.

The most important one for me, in all of this, is settling down. I came back from Singapore 4 years ago to start SushiVid. I never thought I would be here for the long haul. For the longest time, I felt like I would leave sometime. I guess when I see all my friends leave for greener pastures when my sisters all (will all) live abroad… I never thought my life would be here in Malaysia. But through this time, I have built awesome friendships with my team and my fellow fighter startup friends. I’m contributing to my hometown in small ways and I realize the more I do this, the more I want to be here. I think I have found my pursuit of happiness (at least the short term one) and I think it’s time to find me a home. 

P.S I’m looking for a property in PJ area, freehold. Any recommendations?