Pursuing Happiness: The Journey From Becoming to Being

Happiness. A word so simple, yet so elusive. Look around you—whether it’s the bustling streets of Mumbai, the crowded metros of Delhi, or the serene coffee shops of Bangalore, the pursuit of happiness seems to be a universal obsession.

From CEOs in their corner offices to students burning the midnight oil, everyone is chasing something, convinced that the next milestone will unlock the happiness they’ve been promised. But here’s the truth I’ve seen over decades of mentoring: for many, happiness remains a distant dream.

I’ve seen it in the tired eyes of students who crack the toughest exams yet feel hollow inside, and in the hesitant confessions of professionals who’ve achieved everything on paper but find themselves asking, “Is this it?” This isn’t just their story—it’s our collective story. And the question we need to ask ourselves is: Are we chasing the wrong idea of happiness?

What the World Gets Wrong About Happiness

In one of my TEDx talks, I shared the famous story of John Lennon. As a child, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Lennon replied, “Happy.” His teacher said he didn’t understand the assignment. Lennon, with the wisdom of a child, responded, “You don’t understand life.”

This story resonates deeply because it captures a universal truth: happiness isn’t something you find in the future. It’s not tied to a degree, a job, or the number of likes on your latest social media post. Yet, in the modern world, we’ve conditioned ourselves to think otherwise.

The Happiness Trap in the Modern World

Today, happiness has become transactional. It’s tied to the next paycheck, the next promotion, the next vacation. We’ve told ourselves, “I’ll be happy when…” But this chase often leads to burnout, disillusionment, and emptiness.

Take Anthony Bourdain, the celebrated chef, traveler, and storyteller. To the world, he had everything—global fame, a dream career, and admiration. Yet, his tragic end reminds us that external success doesn’t guarantee inner peace.

Or consider Jim Carrey, who once said, “I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of, so they can see that it’s not the answer.” These stories aren’t isolated; they’re wake-up calls.

I’ve seen this pattern countless times in my own mentoring journey. A student aces the CAT, secures admission to a top IIM, and lands a six-figure job. For a while, they’re on cloud nine. But then the cracks appear—exhaustion, dissatisfaction, and a gnawing sense that something’s missing.

The world is full of achievers celebrated by others but unseen by themselves.

What Truly Brings Happiness?

Through my own journey and countless conversations with people from all walks of life, I’ve come to understand this: happiness isn’t about becoming; it’s about being. And this state of being is built on four foundational elements:

1. Gratitude: The ability to appreciate what you have rather than fixate on what you lack.

2. Purpose: Doing work or living a life that aligns with your values.

3. Connection: Building meaningful relationships that bring joy and support.

4. Presence: The art of living in the moment, free from the “what-ifs” and “what-nexts.”

One of the most beautiful examples of this is Oprah Winfrey, who, despite her global success, often speaks about the joy she finds in simple, purposeful living. Her mantra? “Align your personality with your purpose, and no one can touch you.”

My Own Journey: Choosing Happiness in Varanasi.

Years ago, I made a decision that many found perplexing. Despite opportunities that could have taken me across the world, I chose to return to my hometown, Varanasi.

Why? Because amidst the chaos of this ancient city, I found an order, the world couldn’t offer: peace, purpose, and a connection to my roots besides a million dollar worth of living with my parents.

In Varanasi, I discovered that happiness isn’t about the rush to the top; it’s about finding stillness within. I stopped chasing external validation and started focusing on what truly mattered...mentoring young minds, building relationships, and living a life aligned with my values.

My happiness wasn’t tied to a title or a paycheck. It was tied to being true to myself.

From Becoming to Being:

In my mentoring sessions, I often share this insight: “Life is not about becoming; it’s about being.” It’s a perspective that has helped countless individuals shift their focus from chasing happiness to creating it.

One such example is a young professional I mentored. She was on a relentless quest to climb the corporate ladder but found herself feeling empty despite her promotions. Through several sessions, we worked on redefining success—not as external achievements but as alignment with her inner values. Today, she’s thriving..not just as a leader in her field but as a happier, more fulfilled human being.

Redefining Happiness in 2025 and Beyond:

As we move forward, the pursuit of happiness needs a paradigm shift. Here’s how I believe we should redefine happiness:

Happiness is not a destination. It’s woven into the everyday moments we often overlook.

Happiness is not about comparison. Stop measuring your worth against someone else’s life.

Happiness is about balance. Success is important, but not at the cost of your well-being or relationships.

This year, I’m taking another turn in my career—a pause to live my true calling by mentoring school students across the country, especially those without access to professional strategists like me. The more I plan for this, the lighter, more fulfilled, and yes, happier I feel.

The modern world gives us endless opportunities to succeed, but true happiness lies in knowing when to pause, reflect, and simply be.

As we step into a new year, I wish you the courage to find your true self and the wisdom to embrace it. Let’s stop chasing happiness and start creating it...moment by moment, choice by choice.

Happy New Year!

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