AGING - SIMPLY A STATE OF MIND

For virtually all of us, aging is far preferable to the alternative. However, as I have begun to enjoy first-hand experience in this regard, and have talked at length with many others who are and have been experiencing this phase of their lives, I decided to share some thoughts on this topic in the hopes that greater awareness would bring about greater understanding, insight, and appreciation for what seems all too often to be not well appreciated by some.

First, aging is not that “real” to those who are in their 30’s, 40’s, or even their 50’s. In those years, bodies and minds are not quite what they were in the decade before, but they are still operating largely as designed. By the mid 60’s, things start changing in a gradually more pronounced way – and even more so for those who have not taken good care of themselves and/or are subject to inherited physical or mental challenges. While I don’t know personally, I have been led to understand this gradually continues into the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. With the fact that life expectancies are seemingly lengthening, this could have ominous implications for the years ahead for some amongst us.

Here is a list of some key insights I want to share – and I share them with the younger generation because when I was their age, I had no inkling of the reality of these things all silently taking place in the lives of prior generation(s). At a younger age, I was oblivious to some rather important things going on around me in the lives of family members and family friends which I should have recognized and appreciated. Had I done so, it would have changed my perspective and likely some of my actions.

1.    As you age, you become wiser and tend to take life a bit more carefully and thoughtfully. This is natural, based on the many good and bad experiences we are all subjected to along the way. This is also one way of putting into action lessons learned along the way.

2.    One does not heal as fast as you age compared to younger years. It takes longer to get over the flu, or from an injury; we don’t move quite as fast and are not as limber - often due to inflammation and our bodies not being in the condition they were when we were younger. We simply begin to wear out here and there. For me, I can’t throw a ball nearly as far as when I was young, as pain in my shoulder does not permit it.

3.    Your mind is not quite as quick, but you still have the wisdom of years of experience to guide your thoughts and actions. For some, hands may shake a little occasionally, and joints may regularly ache, but your spirit tends to burn bright and your mind is still intrigued by new creative thoughts and ideas.

4.    You want to stay relevant (a big word as you age), but sometimes it can be hard to feel that way due to the fast pace of change, technological advances, and the advent of new, interesting concepts, products, and capabilities. Consider Smart Phones, GoPro’s, and drones for example. Amazing new ideas, indeed!

5.    You are inclined to be sensitive and bruised by cruel, “old people” jokes (“you may want to buy a bedpan because you’re gonna’ need it – ha, ha, just kidding” or “do you remember what you had for breakfast today – ha, ha, just kidding”). This is especially true when those kinds of jokes are not the slightest bit relevant, but they do suggest a form of stereotyping and for some, even bullying.

6.    In many cases, there exists some natural fears involved with aging – not necessarily a fear of dying, but a very real fear of living too long. Most people don’t know how long they will live, and hence don’t know if they have enough money to last the “life cycle”. Being old and broke is a very tough thing to envision for most baby boomers. Most of us want independence and self-management to the end.

7.    For some, there is also a fear of dying – not the actual act of dying, but of leaving behind your children and grandchildren whom you love and want to see grow up, get married, and have good lives. Leaving all that behind is not a pleasant thought for anyone.

8.    And, of course, most people who are up in their years have some apprehension about how they will die – alone, in pain, dragging it out over painful and emotionally draining weeks, months, or years of time? Who wants anything other than to die peacefully in their sleep? And who wants to even think about it?

9.    As a senior member of our population, one often has (at least what we consider to be) a lot of wisdom learned from years of going through life’s ups and down, and at the same time, many other people don’t want to take advantage of that wisdom (hence, the relevance issue). In many cultures today, in contrast to earlier generations, the wisdom of older generations is not recognized or valued by younger generations. Those generations, by default, tend to learn “the hard way”. This is unfortunate, and rather dumb when you think about it. Likewise, some cultures seek out the wisdom of the older generation, which when you think about it, makes a lot of sense in many situations.

10.  Lastly, aging for some can be lonely and full of remorse or regret for a life unfulfilled. For those, when they look back, the net sum of their lives has often been cast in those late teens and 20’s years when one has little to no idea about living and what makes for a solid, well-lived life. Odd, isn’t it, that most of life’s biggest decisions are made at a stage in our lives when we know the least about how “life really works”.

The older I become, the more this topic seems to pop into my mind. I suppose that is natural. It makes one feel both vulnerable and at the same time, grateful for the health and friends we enjoy. I believe I can speak for many Baby Boomers who want to stay as relevant as possible as long as possible, care for our independent selves to the very end, and leave behind a noble legacy of accomplishments which we, and our families, can be proud of. 

Not a bad way to wrap things up when that time comes…but meanwhile, let’s start a new business!