With purpose, one doesn't need perfection

Have you ever heard of the saying, "Practice makes Perfect"?

Of course, it's an old saying. But for years we have been trying to shift the mindset, with practice you get better... hmm, doesn't have the same ring to it, we will stick with Perfect.

Well, I fear it isn't a good mindset to have. We are raising the younger generation with body image issues because they don't look like those models in the magazines. Or I don't look like others my age, I don't 'fit in'. What is fitting in really mean? And why do we have to fit in, fit into what?

There is no normal, we are all unique in our minds, bodies and spirit. We all have our own opinions and those opinions aren't wrong if different from someone else. I struggle with how to communicate this to my daughter sometimes. She's very opinionated and if she doesn't believe it, or it isn't her opinion then "that person is wrong and I can't be their friend, because they don't think like me". When did the line in the sand get so bold and formal?

All of this runs through my head when I look at myself. What triggered this, is a number of things but sometimes it's a feeling that sweeps over me. Am I living my best life, what can adjust, change or shift? When I sat back and looked at myself. Who was I? As me. Personally. What was my brand? What was my worth? and that question, if I died tomorrow what would someone say about me?

You might be asking, why does it matter, well, when your world is turned upside down, even for all the right reasons, you are left with questions. That happened to me 8 months ago and I wanted to level-set myself.

So I dove into things I could control. In my diet, for example, I needed to wrap my head around why I was eating the way I was, what was my relationship with food and why was it so unhealthy. Did you know that there are programs out there based on science and the actual thought process we all go through when we eat when we put food into our bodies, what kind of food we put into our bodies and so on? That we all have habits we have developed from a very young age and just do, like nature.

I learned that most of these are incorrect and unnecessary habits that aren't aiding our bodies in aging well and staying healthy for our lifetime. I read books, I journaled and had basically a Coming to Jesus with myself about what made me do the things I do. I extended it past my eating habits, but my thought process, and the way I behave and react to situations. I learned to harness my emotions. It took 8 months to really get to know myself, deep down. I had hard conversations with myself. I am still a work very much in progress but by coming to terms with how I was eating, what I was eating and why I was able to build better habits, better routines and appreciate the food I was putting in my body for all the right reasons. I loved and respected my body, now I had to show it that I did.

I went to therapy. I laid it all out on the table as the saying goes. I learned that emotions aren't something to be ashamed of and hid, they were to be embraced and released. We all need a good cry once in a while and we shouldn't be shamed for it. I dug out some pretty deep things about myself that I had buried and I came to terms with them.

With knowledge comes power. No saying is more true. Through my shifts in fueling my body. Through the adjustments in my thought process and exercises to calm my mind, I feel that I am better in tune with myself, my whole self.

I strongly believe that the pandemic triggered some of this to come out and to the surface. I feel my anxiety levels rose far higher than I ever thought they could. To a level that I didn't ever think I suffered from anxiety until the pandemic.

However, think about it, a lot happened to all of us in a very short period of time, overnight basically.

I have MS and am on a treatment plan that shuts down my immune system to stop it from attacking my body. But that also means vaccines don't work on me as my immune system isn't there to build antibodies. All of a sudden I was scared of everyone and everything that touched the earth. It causes emotions and feelings that make us eat comfort food. And so much more...

...but back to the purpose of this article. It was to point out that we all need a purpose, we have to remember that purpose each and every day because with purpose in mind, we don't need perfection.

An example, my purpose as a mother is to love, support and protect my daughter. It isn't to be her best friend and be the perfect mom. It's to be the best mom I know how to be and grow alongside her as a person in both of our roles. Once I put that thought in my head, being a mom became a lot easier. Am I loving her and spending time with her today, yes. Am I supporting her love of reading and researching things on the internet that are science-based, yes I am listening to her and having conversations about her interests. That makes me a good mom.

So when I go wider into am I good person. Am I living my best life? It's all with purpose. My main goal and purpose are to live my best life as an openly gay mom with Multiple Sclerosis. Am I building awareness for MS and raising funds for the MS Society at every chance to find a cure, yes I am. Am I living my truth and not letting anyone else opinion of that affect me, yes I am. That is my purpose.

Am I now alcohol-free and fueling my body with only the best of whole foods, yes I am.

I am living a happy, healthy life. I am living with purpose, not perfection.

Yes, I will indulge and eat a donut, or piece of cake at a celebration but because I'm living with purpose, not perfection I won't be haunted by the guilt.

So let's all try to live our lives with purpose, not perfection.

Thank you for reading my article as I don't consider myself a writer, but more of a storyteller that rambles. I wanted to share my story and I won't apologize for the rambling.

Smile and live your truth.

#BeKind #BeGrateful #HealthyChoices #LoveLaughLove #LivingWithMS #LGBTQIA