The Purpose of Purpose

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The Purpose of Purpose

Not knowing your purpose in life can be really really depressing. At fifteen, I felt like it was the end of my life. With my friends around me planning out their life paths and making future plans for college I was left in a daze of overwhelming confusion and despair. It seemed as if everyone was starting to find their life’s purpose except for ME and even worse was that I wasn't even going to go to college. Each day my thoughts quickly spiraled into the dark abyss of depression that lasted in part for 3 seemingly endless years, until I turned eighteen.?

My parents are kind people by nature who always tried their best to console me with words like “you'll figure it out” or “it will all work out eventually,” but at the time these catch phrases only made it a thousand times worse to my teenage brain; those words felt so empty and meaningless when compared to what I was feeling and experiencing at the time and the grandiosity of what I wanted to accomplish with my life. In the darkest moments of my depression, detailed thoughts of the least painful ways to commit suicide often crossed my mind. It was my last resort way out from this never-ending cycle of questioning why nothing seemed to make sense in my life anymore.?I started believing that my life was cursed and I would be eternally doomed.

Jump ahead to age 17, It had been a long two years for me and my parents since my part time depression began. I was 100% convinced that it was a physical issue, some sort of weird ailment that only affected me. My problem? I couldn't get an erection.?

As a teenage boy, this felt like a death sentence!

At first, I tried to keep this embarrassing secret to myself but eventually, after months of trying to figure out the cause on my own, I had to have the very uncomfortable penis conversation with my parents and finally after lots of convincing my mother reluctantly agreed to take me to a doctor.?

The doctor gave me two options: option one being wearing a band around my penis while sleeping that was attached to a machine which would measure any erections; or option two - having an injection in my penis at the Dr. office that would give me an erection in real time, if it worked thus debunking any of my physical limitation theories - only catch being there were hefty costs involved for this procedure and they were quite expensive at $1,000 per injection! My mothers jaw dropped, there was no way we could afford something like that as we already lived month-to-month as is.?

I was beyond frustrated and embarrassed but determined not to let this issue control my life anymore so I opted for the machine instead (I didn't have any other choice) despite its lack of accuracy compared to what the injection could do . I wore it every night for weeks! After my doctor read the data on the machine I was horrified and relieved to find out that I was getting multiple erections while I was sleeping and my issue wasn't a physical one. My doctor suggested managing my mental health through therapy to get me to start feeling better and back in control of my life again...that was a great idea, except we couldn't afford therapy and my family didn't have any medical coverage!

Luckily I did find a purpose at 18 years old with a project I co-created called Burlap to Cashmere and my depression finally lifted along with something else.

Why is having purpose so important? It seems like a simple enough question, but there's no easy answers. This dilemma often leaves us feeling perplexed and overwhelmed, struggling to make sense of our lives.?

The truth was that many believed that our purpose in life was predetermined by forces outside ourselves – whether this be fate or religion or something else entirely. But for those who chose to take an active role in their own lives, determining their own purpose became much more complex than just following some pre-set plan.?

Having a sense of direction and focus gives us an opportunity to channel our energies into meaningful goals, which leads us towards a greater personal fulfillment and success. In addition to providing motivation and structure, having a clear vision also reduces stress levels by allowing us to prioritize tasks and create realistic expectations for ourselves.?

But ultimately, each individual’s path is a unique one—there’s no one-size-fits-all answer when it comes down to finding your “why” in life. Something I wish I understood at the time was that the importance lies not necessarily in the end goal itself but rather how you get there; taking pleasure from every experience I could on the journey while growing along the way and being present. It makes all the difference between living with passion versus merely existing in a state of perpetual survival day after day without any real meaning or drive behind it.?I hope that one day schools help nurture children with finding their purpose and passions as part of their programs from an early age, we would have a lot more happy and healthy adults in the world if they did.

Try everything, try it often until you find the thing that works...Jamison

#Purpose #BestAdvice #Motivation